Father-who art thou?

A friend once complained that the human male (the father especially) is the most neglected and endangered species. The man is responsible for everything that goes wrong in the household. He is the one branded insensitive, the philanderer, wife-batterer, criminal among others. As a result, pro-female organizations like Empowering the Girl-child, Maendeleo ya Wanawake, FIDA…

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Who will nurse me after delivery?

Should it be my mother-in-law, my husband or myself? Esther: ‘I delivered my first baby, Stacy, six months ago. I knew my small sister who had just completed fourth form and was waiting for her results, would be the one to take care of me. I had also employed a house help a month before…

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Raising isn’t easy… it’s simple

It has been jumping over a hurdle, going under a thicket and wading through some un-chattered waters for Collar and Sophie Angote as they watch their family grow from not to greatness. They both tell us the story. I met Collar in 1983 college, where he was taking accounting as I did secretarial. We complimented…

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Finding and experiencing love, trust and intimacy with dad

As I sat in the counseling room listening to the heart-rending story of the nineteen year old girl, I could not help but feel anger rise up within me. She was six weeks pregnant with her father’s baby and she did not know what to do. Should she abort? Would those around her understand the…

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Wooing your Man Back

With your sudden aversion for his cologne, a drastic change in diet, unwarranted mood swings and times where it is dear he is the last person you want to see, there is no doubt that the whole process of pregnancy is difficult for your husband. It must feel like he Is being constantly punished- and…

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Fatherhood vision drove me

Benson Ndungu was brought up by a no-nonsense, authoritarian father. This saw him overcome hurdles in life to become a crown diamond manager (the highest level of achievement) and a teacher in health matters at the Dynapharm International Company. However, his biggest quest was to be an exemplary father; he had a desire to be…

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Is he the ideal father for your children?

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, ‘you’re tearing up the grass.’ ‘We’re not raising grass; dad would reply. ‘We’re raising boys.’- Harmon Killebrew (former league baseball player) An unknown author once wrote. Any man can be a father. It takes someone special…

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Fathers should take the lead

Sylvester Okumu is a man who loves his role of a father. He shares his passion of fatherhood with Pregnant’s Rebecca Njoki. Admittedly, having a second baby on the way is not as anxious an experience as the first time when my wife. Constance, was expecting Jeanne, our first born daughter. Then, everything seemed to…

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Benson Maina – Planning for our baby

Benson Maina – Planning for our baby What is the number one plan for your firstborn? Time. I want the baby to get the best attention from my wife and I. Other than that, our finances need to be in order. The hospital bills, food, diapers, clothing and education costs soon thereafter need to be…

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The Purity of Love

The Purity of Love I just finished reading one of the most compelling books on Love and now I know the notions I have long held about love have been nothing but fickle. Elisabeth Elliot, in her book, Quest for Love: True Stories of Passion and Purity (1996), draws a true picture of love that…

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When men want babies

I recently met Edwin Wangila, such an extra ordinary man. He is planning for a baby – even before he is married. ‘I have come to learn that bringing forth a baby into this world is not as easy as A, B, C. Even where a man is on call 24/ 7, waiting to perform…

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‘Mum, can I sleep on your bed?’

Do not assume that because a new offspring is in the house, your child will instantly want to feel ‘grown up.’ Let that transition evolve naturally without you composing any ‘you are a big boy’ or ‘you grown-up girl’ phrases. Some kids still want to be mummy’s baby long after the newborn has arrived. Remember…

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Outdated family law – milking women dry

Achieng had lived with Jack for more than five years having married through the Kikuyu customary law. As fate would have it, Jack succumbed to cancer, leaving her with two young children to raise. She could not give her children the lifestyle they were accustomed to. School fees was due while the rent to the…

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Should a baby’s hair be shaved?

Do you remember the story of Samson and Delilah in the Bible? When Samson was conceived, an angel of the Lord predicted to his parents Manoah and Zorah that they would have a son who will deliver the Israelites from the Philistines. Samson’s parents promised not to shave or cut their son’s hair. Samson’s strength…

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Hail Motherhood

My mother visited us last week and brought with her dried meat, whole maize meal flour, traditional vegetables and groundnuts. During her stay, being the great cook that she is, she often found her way to the kitchen to prepare delightful meals. One may say that this is expected ‘motherhood’ behavior and I agree. However,…

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Mama-My inspiration

What would I do without my mother? Whenever I ask this question I always shudder even as I wonder what my life would be like without her. My mother is a part and parcel of my life; I knew her even before I made entry into this world. Today I am a grown woman with my…

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Broke mums – Making financial peace at home

In this feature, factors that influence a man’s attitude towards his wife’s spending habits, on baby’s welfare are expounded. Lone shopping: Whether by circumstance or deliberately, many women find themselves on their own, inside stores that sell accessories for babies. She probably made an impromptu visit to the stores after work, before the family regroups…

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Paternity Leave-Just what to do with it

“Maternity is a matter of fact; paternity is a matter of opinion,” is a proverb attributed to an unknown author. It is a witty statement, but doesn’t it have the outright implication that fatherhood may as well be extinct?’ As the world continues to change and employment continues to make more demands, an ever-widening gap…

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I am a mother… Then a politician

Politicians have been branded villains, liars, selfish, ungrateful-the list gets endless. Yet they have been adored, praised and loved. Children, roads, buildings have been named after them. They draw love and wrath in equal measure. There are even those who have attained statures akin to “small gods.’ When we label and un-label politicians, there is…

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Juggling between duties and motherhood

I open my eyes slowly hoping what I have heard is something close to how my alarm sounds. But my hope is disappointed. So I stretch out my hand and turn off the blaring annoyance, then curdle up for a few more seconds’ snooze-which I insist I rightfully deserve. But the rays gently seeping through…

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On a father’s note

I was out of the country when my brother sent me a message about my dad’s illness. His message spelt doom for me. I shared the news of my dad’s illness with my host family and they rallied around me and prayed for a man they had never met it was a favour that genuinely…

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Wake up, sir!

Should a man wake up to change baby? You can’t beat around the bush about a crying baby in the night. Simply put, someone has to wake up. Dad, are you willing? Sandra Mulluka explores this topic. A friend of mine recently had a baby and when I went to see her, she was all…

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To a wonderful father

I know it may seem weird coming from me as your wife but with Father’s Day in the horizon. I thought to write you a letter. Being the father of our child, and having another on the way. there is no better way for me to express my pride in you in having managed to…

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I want a baby boy okay?!

By Emma Odaba I was on a mission in Kakamega en-route from Kisumu to gauge how readers were receiving Pregnant. I was in upbeat mode after my travel through Nakuru, Eldoret and Kisumu indicated that the magazine was doing very well and was poised to change the landscape for pregnant women in East Africa. The…

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Broke Mums

How To Handle Cash-Angry Dads ‘I am tired of begging for money from my husband!’ Sounds familiar? This is one of the greatest headaches a stay-at-home- mum faces. What starts during courtship as a sweet honeymoon of monetary showers degenerates into a marriage of co-existence where an unemployed woman might end up swimming through financial…

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Unfaithfulness during pregnancy

Can a husband get ‘stolen’? Nikky Waeni’s* husband was taken away from her while she was pregnant. He got involved with Nikky’s cousin right under her nose and roof. He was not only ‘stolen’, he also had a baby with Nikky’s cousin. Nikky narrates her ordeal. *Real names withheld. I was such an idiot not…

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