‘Mum, can I sleep on your bed?’

Do not assume that because a new offspring is in the house, your child will instantly want to feel ‘grown up.’ Let that transition evolve naturally without you composing any ‘you are a big boy’ or ‘you grown-up girl’ phrases. Some kids still want to be mummy’s baby long after the newborn has arrived. Remember your child if very young is still a baby!

Do not shut your child out of your life and especially out of your bedroom. This could be the beginning of a difficult childhood which could affect the child’s personality as an adult. You will occasionally have to accede to the humble request, ‘mum, can I sleep on your bed?’ Just let it be.

This opens up a bonding phase for the two

Do not fuss when your child makes mistakes especially if you seem to forgive the baby over the same mistakes. For instance, you may scold your child for wetting your bed when the baby is doing it all the time only to apparently be rewarded with a dose of breastfeeding.

Get your child and your new baby to exchange ‘presents.’ This opens up a bonding phase for the two. Of course your newborn will not be able to ‘present’ the gift but a smart mother knows how to make believe.

Do not be startled

Take photos together and if possible help your child to ‘hold’ the baby in some of the photos. Let your child choose and keep one or two of these. Of course the photos might eventually be soiled, torn and finally discarded, but it will all be worthwhile for your child.

Keep improving your child’s room, bed, beddings and clothing. If your child feels the new baby is getting all the goodies, the results will not be pleasant.

Do not be startled when you find your child trying to help calm your crying baby or attempting to lift up the baby. You have taught your child to care, and that is exactly what is the matter! Try to subdue your display of shock and instead, discuss this later with your partner or friends and lend a helping hand to your child. Explain why it is good to call mummy or daddy if the baby is unsettled or crying; teach your child to ‘watch over’ the baby.

Buy your kid some toys to keep busy with. If yours is a girl child, a baby doll may be the perfect play thing. Let her bathe and clothe ‘her baby’ alongside your own similar task. If yours is a boy, get him a teddy bear or two.

END: PG 2/24-25