Is he the ideal father for your children?

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, ‘you’re tearing up the grass.’
‘We’re not raising grass; dad would reply. ‘We’re raising boys.’- Harmon Killebrew
(former league baseball player)

An unknown author once wrote. Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.’ I could not agree more. In today’s society I see children: both young and old, living with their fathers, having their fathers at close proximity, but yearning for fatherly love and guidance. Most times the father is not there: and often times when he is present, he is abusive and treats the wife and the children awfully. The father figure in a child’s life can leave a lot to be desired, being there in body but his presence and influence conspicuously absent.

So what factors do you consider in a man before he becomes your kids dad? Before you marry that man, what will you first consider? A vox pop from women of various ages, and status, some married, and some single and childless, reveals that today’s woman considers the following before finally settling down to have children. In one voice they all agreed that a good father to their kids should have the following values.

Responsible
My children’s dad will have to be responsible: He has to be accountable and reliable, especially when it comes to issues related to the children. I would hate to have a man whose priorities do not include paying school fees, or buying food for the children. A responsible man will evoke feelings of security in the children.

Kind
I can tell whether the man I am dating is kind or not just by seeing how he treats others. If he barks at the waiter to bring the order, or if he talks rudely to the shop attendant, then a bell is rang in my mind. A man should inspire only positive qualities in my children.

Hard worker
This means that he be both ambitious and aggressive. This way. he will help me fulfill dreams, and in turn we will prosper together, for the good of our children. The fact that he will go the extra mile for the sake of his children will make all the difference.

Loving
It is important that a father is caring to his children. It will be difficult for him to pretend that he cares. Hence he should without doubt love his children, this way. he will do whatever it takes to provide for them.

Intelligent
Of course I want bright kids! I want my children to be bright and so their father should be intelligent (although it does not always follow). A sensible arid rational child is every mother’s pride.

Faithful
The father of my children will have to be true to his children. He should always keep his promises and should always stick to his word. This way. the children will have faith in him.

Outgoing
I would like the father to my kids to be fun loving, and to take my children out occasionally, to open up their world. This should translate to happy children.

Wisdom
The father to my children will need to be wise in his approach to life’s issues. He will need to be patient and understanding, more so with his children.

God fearing
It is a plus if the father to your kids subscribes to a particular faith. Otherwise a man with no spiritual connection can be difficult to relate to.

Potential
He needs to have potential. It is important that the children see in him in him the possibility of bigger things. They should be able to ask him for what they require with confidence. This way. he will be a role model to them.

Respect
He will have to respect me. my family and those around me. When children learn respect they give it too. Respect is a core in any relationship and for it to lack in a relationship, it would mean that any other values t hat may be in existence get automatically nullified.

Good communicator
Communication is key in any given relationship. Without exchanging information and dialogue with his children, he will not be able to know what kind of day they spend. It is important that he talks to them all the time.

Visionary
He has to have foresight. He has to be able to plan for the near future. If not far future. Him not being able to plan or being unwilling to plan would mean that he has no long term plans for his children.

Health
Is he dying? We will all die. but this considered. I still would not wish for the father of my children to have an early death. Hence I will confirm his health status and that of his family if need be, before I decide to settle down with him and have babies.

Financial stability/good planner
In today’s world money can move mountains. It speaks a lot. I want the father to my children to be in good financial health. Money is not everything, but it will sure contribute to a comfortable life for my children. At the end of the day there are bills to pay.

END: PG25/9-10

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