Unfaithfulness during pregnancy

Can a husband get ‘stolen’?

Nikky Waeni’s* husband was taken away from her while she was pregnant. He got involved with Nikky’s cousin right under her nose and roof. He was not only ‘stolen’, he also had a baby with Nikky’s cousin.

Nikky narrates her ordeal.
*Real names withheld.

I was such an idiot not to suspect anything until it was too late. Nancy ruined my marriage and I will never forgive her. When I got married to Joseph, I decided to live with my younger sister and my cousin from my mother’s side. I did not know my own relative would stab me on the back.

I was born to love my relatives, I was never discriminative even in my childhood. That is why when my aunt came to me and asked me to live with Nancy while she looked for a job, I did not object to her request. My husband and I agreed to help her look for ‘something to do.’

My husband found Nancy a job. I guess that was the time their affair started. She would come home late and so would my husband. I did not suspect anything, because it was usual for him to arrive home late- especially during month ends when he had money. My friends consoled me that it was a phase he would outgrow, and I kept hoping that my husband would change.

I was also pregnant

Nancy became sick one day and when we rushed her to a nearby hospital, the doctor told us that she was two months pregnant. Since she was under my care I wanted to know who was responsible for her pregnancy. Nancy told me different stories at different times.

When I inquired from my sister with whom they were close, she told me yet another different story. I did not want to take the blame for her condition, so I called my aunt, Nancy’s mum, to discuss the matter and get Nancy out of my house.

I was also pregnant at that time with my second baby, and I was not in a position to take care of Nancy and her baby were she to deliver while living with us.

Nancy dropped the bombshell

When my aunt came, Nancy dropped the bombshell. She openly told her mum that my husband was responsible for the pregnancy. I collapsed from shock and was admitted for three days in hospital. I vowed to tell all. My mum had to know this, there was no way she could be left out of all this mess; her sister’s daughter had stolen my husband! My mother-in-law also had to hear what her son had done to me.

I went into a depression. I could not work well and I changed from a happy, talkative and hardworking lady to a moody person. The slightest provocation got me emotional . Additionally, I lost my appetite and my health deteriorated. My doctor was concerned about my weight loss, which was not a good sign for a pregnant woman.

This time round I could not control my temper

I hoped that Nancy had lied to us earlier, but when my mum and mother-in-law came, she narrated the same story. This time round I could not control my temper; we fought in front of our mothers.

My mum could not understand what was happening, she was tongue-tied. I remember begging her to say at least something; she was too devastated to say a word. Mama Nancy on the other hand blamed my husband for ruining her daughter’s life; she did not seem to care about our family.

When I suggested that Nancy should have an abortion, all hell broke loose. Nancy’s words are still clear in my mind. ‘I will not abort! Why should I? My child’s father is rich and he is able to take care of us. If you do not want a co-wife then you are the one to leave the house!.’

She was not happy with the way I was living

It was then that I understood what was happening—she was jealous. She was not happy with the way I was living. I was married to a well-to-do man and she envied me, that was why she got pregnant; to trick him into marrying her.

When my mother-in law’s opinion was sought, she said she would shave the baby after birth. Traditionally, that meant she had accepted the child.

My mother-in-law’s words stung my mum. Mum was mad with everyone. She said to Nancy, ‘Your cousin loved you very much and that’s why she accepted to have you stay with her. You thanked her by sleeping with her husband and getting pregnant. One day you will regret having hurt my daughter. Your mother is my eldest sister, I lived with her before I got married but there was respect between us, and that’s why I got my own husband and did not have an affair with your dad. I cannot tell Nikky to leave her husband. That’s her decision.’ After which, Mum took her handbag and left.

Nancy got married to another man.

My husband blamed me for driving him into the hands of other women. He accused me of not opening the door for him when he came home late at night, and that I had left Nancy to do all that I was supposed to be doing for him.

My aunt left with Nancy, she had to look for her own place because I was not going to accommodate her.

God blessed me with a baby girl. Nancy also gave birth the following month to a baby girl. My husband and I parted ways.

Interestingly, things did not work out between Nancy and my husband. Recently Nancy got married to another man.

Several months later, Nikky reunited with her husband and they are now living together again.

END: PG 06/13-14