Shy moments 20

Invisible opinions
By month nine of my pregnancy, I was still up and about. On this particular afternoon, I have gone to the market to buy green groceries. I picked all I needed except the onions. Which I looked all over for in vain. The grocer had told me he had onions but did not make an effort of getting them for me, instead going on to serve the other customers. I thought that was very rude as I had gotten there before the others. After my frantic effort of searching for the onions that the grocer had so confidently said were there, I lost my patience and bolted,’ if you don’t have onions you can as well tell me that. So, I don’t waste time standing pretty in front of you.’ The three customers in the shop looked at me in concern. Then, one of them, a young man, went down and picked some onions for me-trying very hard not to smile. How could my tummy be so big that it hid what was directly below, only a few inches away? Worse still, how could I harshly blame someone for its undoing?

Excuse me
When I was seven months pregnant, I went on monthly stationery shopping for the office at a local supermarket, as it was my duty as administrator. As it happens to many expectant mothers, I got the common honor of being excused from the queue. However, as I made my way to the front of the line, my huge bump got in the way and pushed a customer’s basket from his hands, causing his goods to sprawl over the floor. The worst bit was that I could hardly bend to collect the items to make up for my clumsiness. So I stood there apologizing while the supermarket attendants did the picking. Luckily, nothing broke or had to be replaced. So much for being excused!

Oops!
I had gone for my normal checkups after the delivery of my now 3-month-old baby. Since I was breastfeeding. I pumped before I went on getting to the hospital, there were unusually too many people in the queue that I had to do with some waiting. I finally got into the room, my breasts were full again.
I lay on the checking table waiting for examinations. The doctor was getting ready to check my breasts. He came to the table and pulled back the sheet I have covered myself with. Suddenly my boobs just started squirting everywhere, even on his glasses and his face. I felt as though that was the most embarrassing and funny thing that ever happened to me. I could not wait for him to finish cleaning up and get done with me. Oh, the joys of pregnancy.

Ahem-ahem…
I was slotted to give a speech at a healthy conference. I was a bit reluctant to address the audience during my six-month pregnancy but I purposed to take the challenge. As I walked to the dais, murmurs rose around and I thought people were impressed with the fact that I was still useful at my quite advanced stage of pregnancy. This gave me the kick to set off on a powerful note and the grace to proceed smoothly. When no one raised a question after my well-researched speech, I was convinced that I have taken the point home with exceptional impact. So, I confidently walked back to my seat. This is when my colleague, who was sitting next to me, told me that my blouse had partially lifted slightly revealing my big belly. She had been trying to gesture that I pull it down but, clearly, I was too engrossed in my execution to get her. And the rest? No wonder the murmurs followed by the interesting silence.

END: BL20/72