Why do househelps hide pregnancy?

Many househelps in Kenya hide their pregnancies. They go to great lengths to ensure that the employer cannot even ‘sniff it’, let alone see. It is common knowledge that most househelps who become pregnant while living in their employers’ houses usually find themselves in difficult situations. Most employers do not take kindly to the idea that the househelp ‘dares’ fall pregnant while employed, especially if she is not married. But what annoys employers most is that the girls do not reveal their pregnancies, leaving many guessing. Some are actually pregnant on appointment, as they look for a job- specifically because they are pregnant and need an income!

In general, employers do not want the burden of taking care of a pregnant domestic worker. Most househelps say their fate is sealed once the woman of the house discovers that she is pregnant; she will be taken back to her home, sacked on spot or subjected to cruel treatment if she is left to stay.

Fortunately, several get to stay on without any problems or pressure from their employers. Some receive maternal care and assistance — and a few get paid leave!

A few employers shared there views with Pregnant Magazine:

Ruth — “The blame would be directed towards me”

My househelp had been sickly and when I took her to hospital, tests revealed that she was three months pregnant. The thought of her being pregnant had not crossed my mind. I felt let down as she came from my rural home, and all the blame would be directed towards me. Before I returned her home to her parents, I told her I needed to know who was responsible for the pregnancy. To my surprise she told me it was our caretaker. When I confronted him, I was astounded as he denied any involvement with my househelp.

Diana — “Like her, I was a single parent”

I learned of my househelp’s pregnancy from a neighbour. When I asked the girl, she indeed confirmed that she was six months pregnant. She begged me not to sack her, as she had nowhere to go and was not going to get married. At first I was disappointed in her but then I also acknowledged that, like her, I was a single parent. My three-year-old son had also become very fond of her. We agreed that she would work until her last month of pregnancy. After that she would take three months of paid leave. We should understand these people, as they too have feelings and are prone to the same mistakes we make.

Esther — “My husband was on her side”

I found my househelp eating stones and started observing her keenly. It didn’t take long before my suspicions were confirmed. She started hiding her enlarged belly with an old pullover that she had neglected for a long time. When I asked if she was pregnant, she flatly denied. My husband was on her side and told me that I should stop imagining things. That made me really cross! Later I realised they had been seeing each other behind my back, and the child the maid was expecting was actually his. In a fit of rage, I beat up the girl without giving a thought to the pregnancy and drove her out of my home. Though I regret having beaten her I’ve never found room in my heart to forgive her. To this day I no longer employ househelps for fear of history repeating itself.

Rose — “She started having problems waking up early”

I had a very hard-working girl. She would wake up very early in the morning and do all her household chores before I left for work at seven in the morning. But a time came when she started having problems waking up early. On ‘enquiring whether she was sick, she insisted that everything was ok. I kept a curious eye on her but it was difficult for me to tell whether she was pregnant or not, as I left the house very early and arrived back home late in the evening.

I decided to use my friend’s househelp, with whom my househelp was close, to further investigate. She confirmed that the girl was two months pregnant! I wanted to know who was responsible, and after some hard work- I found out that it was our watchman. Apparently, she used to bring him into my house when I had gone to work, and my child was in school. I chased her immediately after paying her all her monthly dues, as I felt she had no  respect for both my husband and I.

Vivian — “Her pregnancy had led her to develop a dislike for my daughter”

My eight-year-old daughter made me realise that my househelp was pregnant. She told me that of late, ‘Aunty’ hated her and that she criticised her every time she came back from school. I noticed that she had put on quite a bit of weight, and after what my daughter told me I put two and two together. In fact I joked with her and asked her whether she was pregnant or simply eating well.

As I expected, she denied being pregnant. But when I persisted and told her that I had noticed a lot of changes in her behaviour, she admitted while crying- saying she was sorry and that it had happened by bad luck. For some reason I could not tolerate it! I told her to pack all her belongings and leave my house immediately. I don’t regret sending her away, as her pregnancy had led her to develop a dislike for my daughter.

Cecilia — “She wanted my sister to help her abort”

My sister was very close to my househelp, who comes from the same rural area as us, so they shared a lot. One day she told my sister that she was pregnant, and needed some assistance; she wanted my sister to help her abort the baby! My sister told me about this discussion, only for us to find out that she had already tried to perform the abortion. Right in my house! She tried by taking an overdose of anti malaria drugs. The following day I told my sister to take her back to our rural home, as I was afraid she might run away and disappear in the city. Her parents blamed me for ‘allowing’ their daughter to get pregnant, something I have never understood to date.

END: PG 05/20-21