The absent pregnant father
The queue at the clinic is always dotted with the pregnant woman, and never the pregnant man. Why is this so, is it because the man is discouraged from entering the doctor’s chamber, or is it out of choice? Our nurse lets us in on the reason why.
’Does that allow you to hear the baby’s heartbeat?’ Mark asked as he watched me examine Lucy with a fetoscope (a device used to listen to the heartbeat of a foetus in the womb) on this day of 12th September last year. His wife, Lucy was five months pregnant, expecting their first child. She was 25 then. Mark was the enthusiastic husband and had accompanied her to the clinic ever since she got pregnant. Her expected due date (EDD) was 20th of January 2009.
My first instinct was to ask him to wait outside but I recalled the many women who had previously sought services at the clinic. Some seemingly brave on their own but others expressing the desire of having their husbands in the examination room. This was a commendable case. The father-to-be was greatly interested in his pregnant wife’s progress. Mark seemed to enjoy the clinic visits and in fact he asked more questions than his wife. The situation warranted that I provide emotional support and information for both husband and wife.
‘My father never really took an active role in our lives as we grew up. But I want to change that. I am really excited about this baby,’ Mark shared with me as he lovingly and tenderly rubbed Lucy’s tummy. Lucy also expressed her joy, what with Mark lending an extra hand around the house helping her with the housework—something I commended him for.
I checked Lucy’s blood pressure which was normal, and her weight was piling on normally. She showed no outward signs of high blood level and had no persistent swelling of her hands and feet. She had a clean bill of health. I provided her with multivitamins and iron supplements and then counselled her before taking a HIV test, a prerequisite for every pregnant woman as part of the quest to prevent transmission from mother-to-child, in case the test came out positive. I also took her blood to test for anaemia; and then did another to determine her blood group. I also got a sample of her urine to test for presence of glucose and other abnormalities.
I shared with them the danger signs and symptoms that included bleeding, fever, persistent back pain, and persistent swelling of the hands and feet. Other signs included not feeling the baby kick, regular contractions before week 37 of pregnancy or any abnormal gush of amniotic fluid before labour is due. All these could be pointers to a complication with the pregnancy. I encouraged them to come back to the clinic for check-up if any of these occurred. I then gave them an appointment date for the next clinic. I also encouraged them to attend childbirth classes together on Thursdays at the clinic.
On the next clinic date they did not turn up. Mark called later and said that they had had an accident on Mombasa road resulting to Lucy bleeding. But an ultrasound scan revealed that there was only minor injury to her bladder. Lucy was six months pregnant then. Once they were back, time passed with them attending regular clinics. When Lucy was 34 weeks pregnant I referred her to a hospital of her choice.
During the last week Lucy experienced swelling of the feet and persistent back pain. The couple did not worry until she also started complaining of blurred vision. Then on the day they were to report to hospital, she collapsed while going to the kitchen to get a snack. Mark had wondered why it took Lucy so much time in the kitchen. ‘After 10 minutes I wondered why she was so quiet; what I felt when I found her lying on the floor was something I will never want to experience again’. I called my sister and a neighbour and they helped me carry her to the car. Luckily we live ten minutes away from the hospital.
When we got there the nurses quickly admitted her. The obstetrician examined her and directed that an emergency C-section be carried out immediately. Lucy’s blood pressure was very high and both the lives cf mother and child were at risk. ‘I am thankful I made the decision to quickly rush to hospital,’ Mark said with a fine sheen of tears in his eyes. Lucy had suffered from gestational hypertension even though her blood pressure had been normal. Mark was able to act quickly since he knew the danger signs, thanks to his involvement from the onset.
It is usual for women whether pregnant or not to visit the clinic without their spouses But Mark and Lucy’s experience showed the importance of having both parties involved. It goes a long way in handling a health issue, reducing chances of both infant and maternal death.
It struck me that many men feel ignored if treated as invisible bystanders the first time they visit a clinic. And so often times they never go back. The role of a father in pregnancy should not be limited to driving his wife to the hospital and pacing the corridors. It should be a participatory process, from conception to birth.
END: PG22/18