Delivery Refused Return to Sender

Of Parcels and Return To Sender (RTS) – UNWANTED??

When you receive a totally unexpected parcel, one that you were unprepared for, one that couldn’t have come at a worse time…do you Return to Sender?

One day I received a totally unexpected mail. It was in a formal envelope and I could not guess from whom it came as my name and address were typed. I presumed it was a bill, bank statements or insurance documents, but then again, why weren’t the envelopes branded? It turned out it was mail from an old friend whom I had not seen in years!

Another time, I received a note asking me to collect a parcel. It must be insured mail from the bank regarding the loans I had recently taken. Or maybe correspondence from the school where the student I sponsored went.’ I guess with my brows knit. ‘After all, I am a bit late with this month’s installment.’ I concluded it at that and as I went to pick it up. all I could think of was; ‘This couldn’t have come at a worse time.’

I hurried past the beautiful bouquet of assorted wild flowers at the reception, signed for my parcel and waited, brows knit alright. You would never guess the contents of my parcel! Mail from the bank? Guess again. Correspondence from that school? Try flowers from a very special person! I guessed wrong both instances. Imagine what would have happened had I Returned To Sender!

While some solemnly seek to conceive, some are wondering ‘how to get out of this mess’ or wondering ‘how to get rid of this ‘unwanted’ pregnancy.’
‘Three was enough and now this?’ says the mother who was just about to go for TL
‘Oh my God, you’ve got to be kidding me, what am I to do?’ is the fearful confession of the young lady on whose list of priorities was nothing about pregnancy.

Whether planned or unplanned, a late baby or a teenage pregnancy, a baby is a gift. It is water under the bridge, so what’s our best way forward? Mama, it would have been better if the bundle you expected arrived at the perfect time. The time you would have preferred. Instead, it came very much later when you had literally abandoned the ‘project’ or even forgotten about it—a nasty surprise. Or worse, it never arrived at all.

Well, all of us are entitled to our different opinions on this. One thing is for sure—we seldom know what lies inside the package until we have opened it. It could be anything —snail mail, season’s greetings, bills, forgotten scholarly mail, fees structures, invitation to college, mail from an old flame, a scholarship to Harvard, or even a baby!

My opinion is that when you have no control over whether or when the parcel arrives, rise to the occasion. It’s a tall order, difficult yes, but possible. Trust me Mama, you are equal to the task. Could you please not examine the gift horse in the mouth? Could you ignore the bad timing and get on with joy it brings along?

As they say, if you fell in the river, death is definitely a possibility but certainly not an option. Mama, you are resilient, to the extent that some words simply don’t exist in your dictionary. In fact, unwanted immediately becomes wanted and you move, swiftly so, from unexpected to expectant. It takes courage, determination and tonnes of strength, but you will make it if you try, a day at a time.

You never know what the grain holds until harvest time comes. The grain holds joy, hope and good tidings. A little disappointment when the rains fail, sometimes, lots of surprises but a lot of pride it brings too. Look in the mirror, into the eyes of that strong woman looking back at you. Draw strength from her. Invite her to walk with you, to cry with you, to encourage you. Ask her to stand by you always. And together, you are likely to emerge a super trio-plus come ‘harvest time’.

What if the parcel is actually a bill from the bank and there is no money? Worry you can, but that won’t help much. So get past it and start getting in good shape to run around looking for a solution. You are resilient, remember? And what if you are young and your folks have thrown you out of the house and the father-to-be suddenly ‘doesn’t know what you are talking about’? Does the bundle stop being one of joy? Sometimes, that’s how it seems.

It is important to remember that while pregnancy is for a season, the baby is for keeps, bringing delight, no matter what they do or don’t—they may crawl in the mud, swim in the puddle after you have dressed them in dazzling white, pee on the carpet or poo in the dining room just as you are setting dessert—well, you can hit the roof. Actually, consider it a Kodak moment for your baby’s scrapbook.

Next time they ask you what RTS means, just smile and say Receive Triumph Surrender!
Do we have the basics right?
o 9 months is too short a period to give up and too long to sulk. Cheer up…
o Pain is for a season but the pleasure is for keeps!
o The gift in your parcel is full of surprises. Be prepared for suspense.
o Warning: It is a long play and you cannot pause, forward or rewind. So you better enjoy every ‘beat’ of it.
o Walk to your nearest news vendor or supermarket and pick up your copy of a pregnancy guide. That, I’d say, is a good place to start.

END:PG27/26-27