Needs of a pregnant woman – What I wanted most from my husband

This is a legacy edition story. True stories of past pregnancies in yester days (or years), as published in Pregnant Magazine.

My Journey…Shared  by Josephine Kihiu

It was only after I got pregnant that my boyfriend John and I realized we were truly married!

I visited him over Christmas and stayed on for the New Year. And I just never left! After a few months, we agreed without saying it that we were married. Then we agreed we wanted a baby. When it finally happened, however, I was dead scared. My husband wondered why I was nervous yet a baby is what both of us wanted. I guess I was anxious about my ability to carry the baby to term.

During my pregnancy the one thing I really loved to eat was chips. However, I had morning sickness in the morning and… at night! Maybe I should call it night sickness! The only major problems I had were abdominal pains and backaches. I suffered some leg cramps too, but in general, my pregnancy was quite smooth; in fact, my husband once asked me how come I had very few hurdles yet he had heard that women undergo a lot of problems during pregnancy. I think the reason I faced no serious issues was that my doctor had advised me to exercise regularly.

My greatest

I gave birth in February 2 years later. My greatest fear about delivering was the possibility of having a caesarian section. We had started attending an antenatal clinic when the pregnancy was three months. This we did once a month except during the last month when we’re at the clinic once every week. Our parents gave us plenty of information on pregnancy and I also read some pregnancy-related materials from the clinic. During the eighth month, the baby stopped kicking. For one long week, there was silence in my tummy and I was terrified. I thought the baby was dead. I visited the clinic and the doctor told me the baby was fine but probably tired. And I was put on bed rest.

One day my mother-in-law visited and after some observations she suspected I could be in labor. She took me to the hospital and when we arrived the doctor confirmed that my labor was just starting. He estimated that I could deliver the same day. I was immediately admitted. It was initially not so painful but by around two o’clock in the morning, I could not believe what was happening. The pain was intense, very painful, I cannot explain that pain! I had never felt that way before. I was taught how to breathe during labor, but when labor came I did not remember any of that!
The agony continued until I delivered in the morning at eight.

I felt a change in my body soon after delivery

When my husband came to see me in the early hours he found me holding a bouncing baby girl.
I was relieved to have given birth in the hospital. I had occasionally feared I may end up delivering in a car, a bus, or some other public place. No laughing!

I felt a change in my body soon after delivery, the feeling that something had come out and I could breathe better. I looked at the baby and it was looking somewhat unusual, like deformed or abnormal. She was full of blood and other substances and looked unsightly. No one had told me a baby comes out looking a neat mess; I had in mind this smooth smiling baby. I thought my child had a problem but the nurse quickly reassured me. She cleaned the baby and weighed her and when I held her in my arms she looked so clean and sweet! The nurse showed me her ‘Susu’ and smiled saying, ‘it’s a girl!’ I was so happy.

Moments later I felt something coming out of my body and I thought I was going to have another baby! What came out looked disgusting and upon asking the doctor he informed me that it was the placenta. I could not believe it had come from inside of me.

After delivery, I could not move because there were so many things on the delivery table. I waited patiently as the nurses cleared out all the equipment and medical accessories before covering me and wheeling me out of the delivery room to a maternity bed.

What I wanted MOST from my husband…

In very plain language, I demanded presence and presents! I wanted my husband to be close to me and to bring home niceties — it did not matter what as long as he came with something for me. I also wanted him to buy me clothes, and more clothes! And yes, to take me out for a walk… However, sometimes I would be annoyed with him for absolutely no reason. I guess that’s the way a woman is created.

My best moments

When the baby kicked I was thrilled. You could actually see the movements on my tummy. That was quite something. I also did an ultrasound scan when my pregnancy was five months old. It was a great experience!

My Diary, by Josphine’s hubby, John Ndarahi

My big fear was whether the child would be normal because she had stopped kicking at eight months. Josephine, my wife had been doing the household chores with no house help. She did the laundry and cleaned the house and the doctor advised her against this. We had to look for someone to assist.
The day her labor started she was not aware. In fact, we have been invited to a party that evening. During the day my mother visited us and found her hanging clothes outside the house. They got talking about her progress and she told mum she was getting occasional sharp pains in her tummy. Mum told her to stop what she was doing and advised that they go to a neighboring hospital because she could be in labor.
It was a Saturday and I was in a pub with my friends when I was told she had been admitted. I was very anxious. I wanted to go to the hospital but I was told it was too late and was advised to see her the next day. My fear had been where she would deliver — maybe on the roadside, at a party, alone.

My Best Times

The clinic where she had her pregnancy tests carried out is near our house. Twice she had been there only to come home with negative results. On the third occasion, the attendant asked her for her name. She just knew the news would be good!
I was at home when she rushed back to the house with the results slip. She had not opened it but when she did she ran straight into the bedroom and locked herself up! I got her to open it and she looked scared! But I was in great spirits. We made love during pregnancy and this was a good time for us. My wife had been advised at the antenatal clinic that making love was healthy. She was so free with it –I was the one who worried about hurting the baby.
Then she delivered a baby girl. That was the best thing to happen to me because I had really prayed for a baby girl.

My Worst!

Eating time was my nightmare because she would have a large appetite but vomit as soon as she had eaten. I hated seeing her so uncomfortable. I was unhappy because most of the time she did not feel like cooking. She said the smell of food was nauseating but as a husband I still expected her to prepare food. I would buy fast food most of the time but I got tired of eating fast food and wanted the meals she had prepared. There were times when I wanted to wear clean clothes only to find none because the house help had not come to work.
Sometimes Josephine would trick me to get me back home.
I wished she could relax and stop panicking while I took care of matters. She would get me running scared saying the baby was almost coming. That would get me out of the pub promptly and straight home!

END: PG 2/28-29