The gift of waiting

The year is now past the halfway mark and so far, I’m yet to accomplish most of my plans. I had hoped to get . “‘as soon as I came back from my world travels, implement other plans that elude training and mentoring young people towards excellent leadership, sort out some personal unfinished business in my social and emotional life and complete my application process to various graduate schools.

All these things are listed in my journal. Three weeks ago, I put time lines to accomplish the various milestones. Needless to say, the  non-accomplishment of the ‘bigger’ picture in my life has been quite , frustrating. There are moments when I have often felt despair, anger, impatience, rage, sadness, self-pity, and such. Waiting is not an easy task. I recently visited a good friend who is in her second month of pregnancy and already, she cannot wait to deliver! When she thinks of the months ahead she despairs. She complained that the morning sickness, drowsiness and fatigue are just too much for her to handle and has consequently sworn that this second baby is her last one. Yadayadayadah … she had told me the same thing after the first one!

This got me thinking about how much we wish we could get things done instantly and at our own convenience. We are uncomfortable with the waiting process that many times feels like some undeserving punishment meted out on us. Waiting tends to shake us out of our comfort zone revealing both our worst and best aspects. In her article “The gift of waiting” Ruth Haley Barton has quoted Carlo Carretto: God comes like the sun in the morning-when it is time. We must assume an attitude of waiting, accepting the fact that we are creatures and not creator. We must do this because it is not our right to do anything else. The initiative is God’s, not ours. How can we adopt an attitude of waiting? And if the initiative is God’s then what is our role in the entire waiting process? Are there rewards in waiting? How can we differentiate between waiting and complacency? Many questions, few direct answers, but the bottom line is that each of us has experienced waiting, and more so as a mother-to- be, the nine months wait is inevitable.

The waiting does not even stop there. You wait with your baby at the hospital when they are ill, you wait for each milestone with anxious delight, for the time your baby will start school, join high school, university, and get a job. It is almost as if life is about waiting and more waiting.

When we view waiting as a gift, rather than an unwholesome burden that we must bear, then our attitude will positively affect how we respond to the waiting episodes in our lives. Rather than fret and wish that the nine months could be whooshed away, enjoy each minute’s unfolding of the mystery of motherhood. Ruth Haley Barton, a spiritual director, teacher, retreat leader and cofounder of The Transforming Center has highlighted four critical life lessons in The gift of waiting.

Waiting humbles us
Expectancy makes us realize that we do not really have control of our lives. As much as we have advanced technology and we can now determine the birth date of our precious babies, we cannot fast track the pregnancy process. Pregnancy opens our eyes to the powerful and beautiful nature of our Creator in whose hands lies our lives and that of the little ones in our wombs.

Waiting purifies our motives
According to Barton, when we have wait for something, usually our desire and our motivation relative to that thing is stripped to its essence and purified in some way. Waiting for the birth of our precious babies in a sense helps us to reassess our priorities and to redefine our identities. Waiting provides us with an opportunity to be vulnerable and dependent on God and others. As a result we begin to be committed to our family, friends and our Maker.

Waiting teaches us to be faithful to our life purpose
When you think of the joy that awaits you at the birth of your baby, you are likely to get geared up to tackle the highs and lows that accompany your pregnancy, and even enjoy every moment of it. In essence, adopting an attitude of change means that you become aware of the transformation that is taking place in your life physically, socially, spiritually and emotionally thus enabling you to connect with yourself, your family, friends and colleagues in those special ways. nine months provide us with a unique opportunity to set our life goals, make certain changes in our lives and determine to live a life of purpose for the sake of the little one in the womb.

Waiting sensitizes us to God’s coming in our human experience
Being pregnant is a miracle and giving birth to your baby is even a greater miracle. When you finally hold your precious bundle in your arms, you will gratefully attest that it was worth the wait.

Barton however warns us that waiting should not be confused with passivity. A healthy waiting process contains expectancy, hope and a sense of alertness that guards us against any unforeseen dangers. Let’s use this opportunity to, dream anew, prioritize our goals, expand our imaginations, and hence experience extraordinary growth; physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually for the sake of the little one we can’t wait to meet.

END: PG 34/14