Life begins at 40!

Life begins at 40. Whoever coined this phrase must have had many things in mind-happiness does not diminish as you grow old, you need not be scared of old age and the sort. But I wonder if he thought of a woman deciding to get pregnant at 40!

The resounding answer from a number of women. asked whether they would intentionally get pregnant at 40 was that there are things that are just beyond our control. Lilian Okul agrees with this. for at 40. she is carrying her third child-thirteen years after her last birth. So did it suddenly hit her that indeed. life starts at 40?

‘When messages come from every corner that getting a baby after 35 is hard work. you want to do all you can to sire your children before this crucial age: says Lilian. ‘My husband Nabwera Taraja and I had settled for two which we got in my early twenties. We were sure that that was it.

What changed?
‘When my husband and I started out, life was financially tough, explaining why two mouths were the most we could feed. Our first born is 14 and the second is 12 (born in 1996). Both are boys. 10 years after my company took me up, I have managed to climb my career ladder to a regional sales manager-a job that needs tough skin; thus having to work twice as hard as the men to prove myself.

Time and again I have congratulated my male colleagues who have had babies over the years. In the midst of it something stirred a desire to have one of my own. And last year, when I finally decided to be true to my desires, the issue of my ‘advanced’ age kept replaying in my mind. After many mind debates, my hubby and I, decided to take the plunge, seeing that everything else seemed to favour us. I did not go for any tests to see if I was ready because my body system was shouting that I was.

And pregnant I got, which came with a bout of malaria. I was so sick in the first two months I thought I was going to die. Any food I ate saw its way out of my body soon after I took it. The doctors had to find a way of treating my ailment without tampering with my thoroughly desired baby.

Challenges
A few people told me I was too old to get a baby. That was not funny. I reminded them that I was still a woman. Interesting, they were the first to get excited about my pregnancy that came soon after their expressed doubts. They say it has given them something to think about. A certain age-mate feels I have challenged her to confront her fears and get her baby.

Other than this negative opinion, I have noted that I easily get fatigued and I have become teary. I can cry at the least opportunity.

Then & now
In my first two pregnancies I was young, which seemed to have made the task a lot easier-save for the financial constraints. This time round, I find myself more appreciative of my baby, who is coming at a time when I enjoy more serenity, in almost every aspect of my life.

My worry had been blood pressure. My legs are swollen most of the time though, something I did not experience back then. Fortunately, I have been asked not to worry about that but to sit with my feet up.

Back then, I gained a lot of weight. This time it is just me with a growing bump. The weight I lost with the malaria bout I quickly regained. I should appreciate the people who always remind me to eat healthy, for the sake of the baby. So since I conceived, the previously abhorred vegetables and neglected fruits have become part and parcel of my meals.

The pregnant me
Normally, I am a person who loves to stay on top of things; ever in a hurry to ensure that I meet my target. This pregnancy has taught me to slow down. I now comfortably take my time to appreciate everything around me. If I feel like sleeping, I sleep. I know a baby can pick mum’s cue and I have decided to take everything easy because I want a relaxed baby.

I drive less. And sure enough, my work performance has slackened. What l used to accomplish in a day now takes me two or three days, making me tap into my not-until -now unexplored delegation skills.

I have become harsh in a sense – as a defence mechanism. I feel I have to let everyone know that this pregnancy is my choice and nobody should judge me.

Ante-natal
I attend antenatal clinic monthly. Towards my EDD though, I intend to do so every two weeks. I want a natural delivery. Now that I am almost stepping into the final lap, I am becoming impatient to see my baby.

Woman to woman
Regardless of how old you are, the joy of pregnancy is simply a choice. Your looks should not drop. Feel young – as I do, and keep people’s pessimistic talk out of your head. The age difference between baby and I, is not a bother as I have calculated that by the time I am 60, my baby will be through with university.  And by the way, doesn’t life begin at 40?

END: PG 23 /20-21