‘I’m ready!’

Susan Kamau, well known for her cookery programme ‘Lets Cook’ on NTV, talks to Pregnant writer Emma Odaba about her decision to have a baby, why she waited this long and how she’s coping.

MANY people cannot understand how you can be getting older or in a marriage and not want children, especially for a woman.

I was married at 23 and at that time I didn’t want children. There was so much pressure from family but I chose to close my ears because I wanted to have a baby at the ‘right’ time.

When my first marriage of 13 years ended because I was not ready for a child, some people speculated about my ability to conceive.

I believe a woman must want a baby for herself and not her husband, mother or any relatives. I wanted my baby to have a good start. That is why I waited this long.

My partner John and I have been together for five years. When we decided to have a baby, we tried for six months before I conceived, it took so long that I started wondering if it was ever going to happen or if I would have to opt for adoption.

The day I missed my period I knew immediately I was pregnant. I had never missed my period. But ironically, I waited for three months before I went to a doctor for confirmation.

When the doctor handed me the results, I can’t say I was too excited. Pregnancy was one of my goals in life—I had to fulfill it. The doctor told me to relax and to continue with my every day activities, including my sex life.

In February this year I became sick and was bedridden with migraines. I have had migraines since childhood but this time the attack came during pregnancy. As a child, my parents tried many doctors until I was 15 years old when we found a doctor who diagnosed the headaches as migraines. Migraines are very painful headaches that have no cure. I’m told the condition is hereditary; I hope my baby doesn’t get it from me.

When I experienced the migraines while pregnant, the doctor did not allow me to take strong painkillers. I was in so much pain and even the best painkillers she gave me were still very mild. Eating became difficult; even sipping water was a task. I became very weak. I ate only boiled cabbages and potatoes and slowly became well. I went to see an Indian doctor who uses natural medicines, because I felt these would not harm the baby.

Born and brought up in Nairobi, Susan went to a Catholic girls’ schools both in primary and secondary school. After school, she joined the hotel industry, she trained in hotels in Nairobi and then went abroad. A lot of her recipes are self-taught, from research and personal interest because as she puts it.  ‘Food is one of the human pleasures that come even before sex’. Susan said that food connects people everywhere.

Susan’s greatest fans for her recipes are her parents and her partner, John. Her dad may watch her making a recipe on TV and call on her for a bite of the delicacy! John on the other hand is open-minded and not a picky eater, Susan says.

Susan is the fourth born in a family of eight children, of whom only four are alive. Her love for animals inspires her diet-she is a vegetarian and hopes her child will follow suit. She recalls really crying once when her family sold a bull!

HER WORD TO COUPLES
‘Don’t get pressurised into having a baby. One should conceive because they desire and plan for a baby.
‘We have a lot of options, in terms of contraceptives, for protection against unplanned pregnancies. It is important that people plan, rather than end up having unwanted pregnancies.’

She prescribed some concoction of glucose powder, a pinch of salt and honey mixed with water.
The headaches stopped after a few days. That was a particular trying moment that I even considered ending the pregnancy! I always imagined the pregnancy to be a time I would enjoy, so I couldn’t understand the contradiction. But John was very supportive and , thank God, I got better.
The migraines are over now. I discovered that they were food-related and I now know what not to eat. I avoid coke, strong tea, the smell of smoke and strong cheeses.
Sometimes I feel as though my belly button is going to explode because of the extent to which my tummy is stretching. I oil my entire body to prevent the itching and avoid stretch marks. I also try to exercise my legs so that I do not feel tired easily, especially while hosting the ‘Lets cook’ show. Having strong abdominal muscles is important too! I do my kegels (exercises) and the perineum massage in order to keep my body flexible and to increase the ease of having a natural birth. I like to eat a lot of different foods which I take in small portions. I feel quite uncomfortable when I get full. In the morning for example I take water, fresh juice and cereals. I also eat all kinds of starches and lots of fruits and vegetables. I have a sweet tooth and occasionally I go for cake and for ice cream. When I get hungry, I can’t wait; I have to stop whatever I am doing and eat.
I have been having cravings, but once I satisfy them they disappear. In the first three months I wanted crest lemonade soda. At other times I wanted omelette,githeri, mukimo or fermented porridge. I also felt like eating cornflakes all the time. The cravings reduced in the second trimester and I had more energy.

Lucky for me I have not experienced any morning sickness, swollen feet or anything like that. I was just hypersensitive to certain smells. I didn’t like my own body smell, or John’s colognes; I still don’t like my own deodorants. I have also been feeling tired, which is a big change from my usual energetic self so I try to rest a lot. My schedule is flexible so I can sleep until 9 a.m though I do not want to get too busy. However, I have been attending antenatal clinics since I was three months pregnant.

The first time I had an ultrasound I could not see the baby but the doctor let me listen to the heartbeat. It was really amazing! I keep referring to the baby as ‘he’ and John prefers to say ‘she’ but for me the sex doesn’t matter. If I decide to have a second child maybe I will be particular about the sex.

Unless there’s an emergency, I am going for a normal delivery. I have discussed this with the doctor and told them not to intervene unless something goes wrong. I want to try and focus instead of fearing the pain of childbirth.

John will be there during delivery and he is prepared for it; I want him to be involved as he is very caring. He always wants to know how I am feeling. He lets me rest when I want to and he listens when I am complaining, which makes me feel loved. When the baby comes instead of staying home for two months, my plan is to strap the child on my back so that I can go wherever I want to go.

My Worst!

‘There was a serious change in my breasts. They became bigger and painful. They were so tender that I could not even wear a bra or hug someone because they would hurt. That was the first major body change I experienced and I just wondered why no one had ever warned me about it.

I also feel very uncomfortable when the baby rolls or stretches in the belly.

My Journey’s Best Moments

‘I can’t bend because of the stomach so I have to squat when tying my shoes and it feels great; I love it!
Listening to my baby’s heartbeat during a doctor’s visit is also amazing.

END: PG8/13-17