Excited to see the end

Ursula is on the final leg of her pregnancy. She cannot wait to have her baby and her ‘normal’ body back.

The last month of pregnancy. One that is filled with anxiety and apprehension. It does get to you if you let it and as for me, I must admit that there have been many false labour calls of late. As if that is not enough, your phone does not stop ringing, with everyone on the other end wondering if you have delivered yet and why you did not answer the last time they tried to call you. No one minds the concern and genuine care of family and friends but the timing could be unnerving. I mean, here you are wondering if the baby is coming because of a twitch you felt in
your abdomen, and then someone asks if you have given birth yet. Then they come at you with the latest birth of your friend’s baby and ask you whether you two were due at the same time; and the story goes on and on…

Still, when your friendship with people is on a deep level, they will tend to catch you when you need the greatest encouragement, making irrelevant all the questions that they may ask that seem to get to you. They come at you with genuine love and concern, not necessarily wanting to wear you down at this last stage of pregnancy.

I finally accepted that people will fuss over my pregnancies and my children. Instead of getting irked and putting the ‘do not disturb’ sign on my forehead and belly, I smile and feel good about their concern—puts my mind more at ease. I cannot imagine a scenario where no one who I consider my friend does not even bother to find out how I am doing, and only calls when I inform them about the birth of my baby. That is, if they ever do—and I can almost hear them saying’ you didn’t tell me you were due!’ in their response. I must admit that growing up in Africa has its own benefits when it comes to pregnancy and birth. When a woman gets pregnant, society owns the baby and more often than not, you are treated better than at other times. It gets intense when you are due. I think people can sense when a mother is about to give birth. So exceptional treatment ensues and truly I cannot complain. I mean, it is not every day that I am preferred to on a queue at the bank. So let me enjoy it while it lasts! Our culture is ingrained in us and to get treated differently is unnatural.

Then there are those among us pregnant women who expect the whole world to be at their beck and call. Yes, we can be too much at times! I find myself dropping into this category many a time, and have to check myself not to be too demanding on my husband or anyone else around me. I can stand and say that it is his fault I am pregnant and want to ‘make him ‘pay’ for my predicament, but on the other hand I must remember that I was a consenting adult in this deal. So too bad! Anyway, I have learnt my lesson well in that issue. As much as I am growing a baby inside me, I am not completely helpless.

True, I need to be more cautious and carry myself around with more care, but behaving all so needy puts me in a strange position. Believe it or not, my superman husband will eventually figure out my ‘helplessness’. And so will everyone else around me and knowing people, they will run away from me the next time they see my big belly coming round the corner, expecting the usual list of demands. Don’t make them wish for you not to get another baby! Instead, let them look forward to seeing this precious baby and enjoy with you when you next get another.

That aside, the fact that I am about to give birth is so exciting! It has been a long forty weeks of expanding and waiting to see who the baby looks like. Will they be similar in behaviour with my son or will they be different? Will they look like me or their dad? And the most pertinent of all, will they be healthy? Like I said a while ago, it really does not matter to me whether it is a boy or a girl. A safe delivery, healthy mum and baby are the joy of anyone who has had a baby, or is looking forward to having one or more babies. And do not get me started on how much am looking forward to having my body back to ‘normal’, feet back to their original size and to be able to wear my snug fitting clothes again. My husband’s T shirts are not exactly fashionable in the women’s corner. All in all, it is nice to be a co-creator with God and help to bring another life on earth,

END: PG24/10