A baby’s cry is a language you learn

Jackline Tonui shares with Pregnant how drastically pregnancy has turned her life over.

I went to have my acrylic nails removed one weekend when I noticed that the smell from the nail polish remover was repulsive and made me nauseous. I requested the hairdresser to dilute it since l could not stand the strong smell. That surprised him because it was not the first time I was having my nails removed with the same concentrated remover. He went on to say that most ladies who complain about the smell are normally expectant. Though I dismissed his sentiment, it got me thinking…

Denial
That day on my way home. I bought a pregnancy test kit. The instructions on the kit had been to wait for five minutes so I took it at night and forgot it in the washroom till the next morning when I saw the two lines clearly on the kit. It couldn’t be.. I thought to myself. Furthermore, I was convinced that the results had turned out that way because I had left the kit unattended to overnight, causing, the urine to soak it. I informed my partner, who offered to accompany me to the hospital so that we could confirm the same. We went to four different health facilities, all indicating positive results.

It was hard for me to accept, even after the four tests. I decided to seek out my gynaecologist. He declined to take another test but instead counselled me into accepting the results I had already been given. The morning sickness set in almost immediately. I started reading pregnancy articles, telling my friends and parents, eating and living healthy. In due course, I got the hang of it.

Panicky moments
One evening, when I was ten weeks pregnant. I had a sharp pain on my left side, from my abdomen to the shoulder. I remembered reading that such pain on the left side was a sign of an ectopic pregnancy. In panic I called my doctor who advised me to go for a scan to establish the truth and have peace of mind. I checked into the nearest health facility but I could not get immediate ultrasound scan until the following day. The next day I rushed to the hospital and saw my baby for the first time. He was very tiny, the size of a big bean and very alright. Surprisingly, after it was confirmed that the baby was alright, the pain stopped. Then another time I noticed I was spotting and I did not know that it was a normal occurrence. I rushed to the hospital and the doctor told me to relax.

Fun moments
My second trimester was my best period. A scan on week 20 revealed we are expecting a boy. This for me was the highlight in that trimester; we had both wished for a boy.
I had energy and had grown to love the baby growing in me. I would do housework so effortlessly. Well, the same cannot be said about my last trimester, which seems forever plagued with sleeplessness and fatigue. I am looking forward to the end of it all.

My relationship
Being expectant makes me see my mother in a different light. I respect her more. She went through pregnancy four times, a fact that makes me wonder how she managed. She always has a lot of advice, like any other woman who has been through childbearing, and her solutions always work. My relationship with my partner is now more inclined to being more settled down, budgeting for baby items, saving for the baby and having a bigger family. We want our baby to have a home and parents committed to raising him well.

Wish list
I wish people would stop giving horrendous birth stories to expectant women: it lessens the enthusiasm of having a baby. I also wish all the labour rooms would smell less of antiseptic. It just makes the place a bit repellent and scary when one is shopping for a suitable health facility for delivery of the baby.

Uncertainty
I feel so unprepared to rear a child yet. My life has been taken over by this baby that I love so much already and all I yearn for is a school that teaches one how to be a parent. Not the 15 minutes birth class, but a lesson on everything about childbearing and a session in which I can ask all the questions I have on my mind. I ask my friends who are mothers how they know what the baby needs when he cries.

They in turn say that a baby’s cry is a language you learn when you stay with the baby. It is an on-the-job-training. My mother and mother-in-law have already promised to be around when the baby comes. That comforts me because I will learn a lot from them.

END: PG25/19