Will I be a good mother? Jane Awour ponders

You are going to be a mother!’ Seven little words that change a woman’s world.

My boyfriend and I are in a stable relationship but the thought of starting a family had not crossed our minds. Pregnancy came as a surprise to me, especially because I had been using contraceptives. I found out about my pregnancy in an interesting way. I was working in Kisumu and missed my periods, which are usually regular. It did not hit me that something was amiss though. I thought they had been delayed due to my frequent traveling.

As a production assistant, I do a lot of work that entails moving around and standing for long hours. In the course of duty. I began feeling sick. I was tired most of the time and would feel really cold. I decided to purchase over-the-counter malaria tablets—assuming that I was coming down with malaria. The symptoms did not go away, which worried me. I found it wise to pay a visit to the hospital for a check-up. The doctor could not detect any signs of malaria or any other illness. Since I was feeling sickly. I could not believe the doctor when he told me that nothing was ailing me. The doctor suggested a pregnancy test: as 1 was just on the verge of turning down the suggestion, the thought of my missed period suddenly hit me. Although I accepted to take the test, the notion that the results could turn out positive was at the back of my mind. In no time, the results came back and as they say, the rest is history.

The journey back to Nairobi was an unusual one for me. Looking back, all I can remember is being in Kisumu one minute and in Nairobi the next. My mind was consumed by a myriad thoughts, my world going through a tremendous transition. What would my boyfriend say? My aunts, how would they regard me? I was unmarried, what did the future have in store for me? There were so many unanswered questions swirling around in my head but the only thing that kept me going is that it takes two to tango,—it was him and I. I felt comforted for some reason, knowing I had a shoulder to lean on.

I was staying with my aunt and it was not an easy disclosing my condition. When I did. her biggest worry was that I was unmarried. I could sense her disappointment. But the fact that I was developing complications worried her even more.

I am glad that when my boyfriend learned about it, he supported me greatly and this gave me the strength to go on. This is despite the fact that he received news of my pregnancy with mixed emotions. I thank God that he was and has been able to act as my pillar of strength.

The Experience
It has been five months of great challenges but I am determined to go full cycle. I have experienced several complications which I have kept at bay with medication. I have had a urinary tract infection, vaginal thrush and mild fibroids that give me great pain and discomfort. And recently, I developed pelvic pain and had to be admitted in hospital. The journey is not smooth sailing, but every woman, I believe, has to be strong.

I still go to work. I do not want to laze around. I try to regulate my standing and walking periods. I have already started planning on shopping for my new wardrobe. I am glad I do not have strange cravings or really foul moods.

I am praying and hoping that the whole process turns out alright. I wish for a normal delivery and pray that the fibroids do not make it any worse for me because I would rather not have a C-section delivery.

The day to day complications that I develop have been put in check by my doctor. I rest and take lots of water so as to reduce the frequent headaches and general fatigue. My friends have also been supportive. I am looking forward to the D-Day and I promise my unborn baby that I will do all I can to be the best mother.

My EDD is on 25 November this year. I am already thinking of a name. We have considered naming the baby Obama if it happens to be a boy. We are not very keen on finding out the sex of the baby just yet.

END:PG15/27