Touring Anastanzia Wakesho’s world

‘David,’ shouts Anastanzia Wakesho, ‘Get me the charges for mountain bike-hire from Cray Fish to Hell’s Gate National Park and also accommodation cost at Crayfish in Naivasha’. ‘I had checked that. It’s … ‘

Anastanzia, mostly referred to as Stacy, gets back to the person on the other end of the line and with great mastery of her content amid bawls of friendly laughter that makes just about anyone at home, she closes the deal. In a few minutes David is on his way to the clientele to necessitate the cash transactions.

‘And where is Dorah?’ I ask in the course of our interview. ‘She is out on the same errands as David’s. My children and I are a great team.’ If I may take you back along the corridors of time to where it all began, Anastanzia was in Austria studying after winning a scholarship. One day she gets a letter (then the in thing) from a Kenyan gentleman by the name Eliud Kimaro, studying motor engineering in Mannheim, Germany.

In the mid of the friendly gesture, he explains that he has been told about her by a Kenyan friend back home. She writes back. And this marks the beginning of a long story. The irony of events is that they both hail from the same village in Taita/Taveta District, but get to meet in Europe for the first time, where sparks fly. For Stacy this gentleman has just stepped out of her dreams; the looks, the brilliance, the charm are everything to write home about. But Stacy does not allow awe to make her lose her head, and only accepts his pleading hand in marriage when they get back home in (1984) a place she deems to be a sober ground to make such a capital decision. They date for a year before tying the knot and before they know it, Anastanzia is in a throwing up frenzy. with flopped taste buds and a dire need of having everything around her as neat as a new pin; because a baby is on the way!

‘My pregnancies (the first in 1986 and second in 1987) were generally easy,’ recounts Stacy, the National Chairperson of Domestic Tourism Council of Kenya and the Managing Director of Karibu Paradise Safaris East Africa. They actually gave me a shot in the arm and saw my workaholic nature go full-blast to the last hour regardless of Mombasa’s high temperature-where I was working.

My weekends were still graced with dance and travel-my two dear involvements, which my husband, Eliud, faithfully honoured. I craved Fanta in my first pregnancy and Coca- Cola in my second. As I have said, I could not stand dirt, and for some bizarre, reason, the second one had me hanker after my hubby. It was so strange that I would be right behind him whenever he stepped out of the house.

Contraceptive
I have always experienced an intense pain at a certain time every month. It is normally so bad I practically become sick. As a woman, you know that this is the worst time to be asked for conjugal rights. Well, some two times, I sacrificially decided to give my hubby what he rightfully deserved and viola! The pain dissipated. You can be sure we indulged in the blessing of marriage. Later on when I was having a recap with my gynae in my second pregnancy-telling of the crazy monthly pain and venting about my unplanned conceptions, my doctor laughed saying I am actually one out of 100,000 women who can tell they are ovulating without tracking their cycle, using a thermometer, checking their discharge. Every time I felt that crazy monthly pain I was ovulating!

My ignorance about my special nature surprised me with Dorah’s pregnancy; and David’s-six months after Dorah was born, which before I came to terms with, a lot of disbelief and worry had to be washed out of my system through urns and urns of tears. But I knew better thereafter and diligently operated on my free and rare’ contraceptive’.

Labour
I cannot really explain it. But if I may try, for me it was a crazy feeling- great pain that makes you want the pregnancy ended and the baby out. Then bang, the baby is out wailing and the maddening pain is instantly replaced with heavenly joy. All along you know you have been carrying a human being, though a good fraction of the time you are not certain about that fact-because they are beyond your reach. I spent the first week staring at my babies. Every move they made was a story of how it was when they were in me! I think that is why when a mother loses a baby after a pregnancy, the grief can stretch through a lifetime, because the bond is normally too strong to explain.

In the house
Bringing up my babies was tough. What with house-helps running away and some leaving the same day they came. Being very particular with my children, there was a level of mediocrity I could not just settle for. This sometimes saw me carry my two babies to the office and explains why my house-helps totalled to about 20. I remember that not going down well with my hubby, who thought I played a big role in the high turnover. So one day, after one of my dear house-helps went missing, I gave myself the day off and allowed him some time to bond with his children. When I came back in the evening the three of them were all over me-so happy I was back home. His attitude toward our house-helps’ high influx changed for the best-after seeing that the babies were more than a handful for any human being.

The special announcement
There is this thing I see in the movies. A couple prayerfully walks into the gynae’s clinic to get there pregnancy test’s results. And when they are finally told they are going to have a baby, they are besides themselves with so much joy, sometimes in tears. Then their friends’ and relatives’ phones go blaring with the news. Now, I never had that-and neither did most of my peers. For some reason, I feel if I could turn back the hands of time, we would discuss with my husband about wanting a baby, plan for it, work on it, and then ride on the intriguing anticipation until the doctor breaks the grand and most awaited news-other than just being slapped by the rigours of morning sickness out of the blues.

Do not get me wrong though. I loved my babies senselessly despite having not planned for them. I still do. I know the same goes for the mothers of my time.

Something I miss
The old maternity wear that not only makes one look like they are gracefully accepting motherhood, but also makes
them look like babies because of all the big flowers, frills and ribbons. I recommend the oldie-goldie maternity dress that flows charitably giving the baby room to kick all he wants. I miss having babies around. Despite the challenges, it is a lovely feeling. I believe: The Joy and Pain of getting and raising children equals Joy.

So far …
My dream shave come true.I dreamt of brilliant, hardworking and God loving children. I have more than I asked for. Dorah is soon joining USIU to take up a Bachelor of Science Degree in the Hotel & Restaurant Management. David is in Kenyatta University studying French/Literature and Public Speaking/Chinese and has been an active contestant of The Zain Africa University Challenge currently being aired on NTV. They are not only my passionate business partners but my best friends too. The word ‘secret’ does not exist among us.

It is unfortunate that their father and I are no longer together. Somewhere along the line our beautiful bond shattered so bad that there was no type of arodite that could amalgamate it back together. His relationship with the kids is still intact, a gesture that I highly respect.

Before close of business I would like to share about my youngest baby, who I conceived three years ago when someone contacted me and said, “I am single, lonely and HIV positive. Would you help me?” Of course I had no idea of how to help him but I said, “Oh yes I can.” And in the process of brooding over my callers agony, my heart
birthed Stacy Care Foundation (SCF). This is a corporate social responsibility of my tour company, a form of outreach programme that reaches out to the single, lonely, HIV positive men & women, who are finding it hard to come to terms with their status, thus wasting away.

I enrolled the vision as an NGO and then did the outrageous thing in January 2006-advertised it in the Lonely Hearts
column. Actually, when I read the advert that morning, I pulled the covers over my head knowing I had stepped into a contentious world where people would be working hard to establish why the single, lonely and HIV positive are closest to my heart. But the beautiful thing is that, since that advert, I have never looked back. The response it got was almost overwhelming.’.

I believe SCF is God’s project. The foundation now has over 1200 members and the number is growing by the day, a good number of whom I have seen growing from hopeless suicidal freaks to mentors of optimism and selfless responsible leaving. The foundation is making it clear that they can enjoy life again through socializing, sharing and more so travelling. It is telling them that they can love again; thus seeing the foundation celebrating its first wedding in March this year.

END: PG 23 /14-16