Coping with a Stillbirth – Rhoda’s experience

LAST year I lost my first baby when I was eight months pregnant. It all started with very many complications. I bled during the first three months. I was not just spotting, but bleeding. It would stop for a while, then at other times I would wake up and find my bedding soaked in blood. I was given medication to stop the bleeding. At other times the doctor would prescribe injections, three times a week.

I do not recall feeling the baby kick. At the clinic, the doctor did not advise me to monitor the movement of the baby, which I think I should have done. The clinic I attended is in my neighbourhood. The doctor would simply touch my belly and tell me that everything was fine.

In August  I requested for an ultrasound scan since my baby was due in September. Unfortunately the scan was overtaken by events: I went into labour at eight months.

I began feeling pain while I was in the office and I decided to go home to pick my clinic card and then go to the hospital.

On arrival at the hospital, I was taken to the labour ward where the doctor examined me with a fetoscope. He then told me my baby would have to be delivered prematurely and they did not have facilities to deliver pre-term babies. He therefore referred me to another hospital.

I was received well at the new hospital and rushed to the examination room. The first doctor examined the foetal heartbeat. She called another doctor who did the same and then they called in four others.

I learnt that they could not trace the baby’s heartbeat. I was devastated! After some vaginal examinations, the doctor told me that since my cervix had already opened up, I could go through a normal delivery. I was induced.

I sent a message to my husband to the effect that I had been admitted. By the time he came, I was in a lot of pain. When I told him what the doctors had said he told me that we should hope for the best.

After the induction, I stayed for about an hour and then delivered a stillborn baby. It was a baby girl, and the nurse who was conducting the delivery told me that it was not a fresh stillbirth; the baby had died about three days before!

I was taken to the maternity ward and I got encouraged to learn that there were other women who had gone through the same. The next day, I was discharged and advised to go back to the hospital after six weeks. It was not easy. My breasts were full with milk and though I had been given some medicine to stop the milk production, but my breasts continued producing milk for another two weeks. I would express the milk and discard it; sometimes my husband would help me do it. I felt my world had collapsed because it was our first baby. I had bought a lot of things for the baby. All I would say is that God knows why it had to happen.

When I went for review after six weeks, the doctor did some tests for blood sugar level and bilharzia and the results were negative. He told me that I could try getting another baby.

There was no need for me to go for pre-conception clinic. I conceived again in October; that was a month after delivery. A friend of ours had advised us that the only way to heal after such an incidence was to get another baby as fast as we could. I decided this time round, I should take a lot of caution and make sure the doctor who is attending to me is a gynaecologist.

Back to the house, we were very low and we would cry a lot. I continued to receive congratulatory messages from friends who heard I had been admitted to hospital for delivery but did not know what had happened. Recently, I met with a friend who was pregnant at the same time as myself and she was shocked to see me pregnant again. She asked me why I got pregnant that soon and yet the other baby was still young.

I began attending antenatal clinics at three months and my gynaecologist attended to me very well. I had a lot faith in God and it was exciting to feel the baby kicking every day. I did not know that one has to monitor the kicks but now I know. I went for a scan and found out that I was carrying a girl. I felt it was a replacement and I was very happy. The pregnancy was normal; no morning sickness and no cravings.

I began my leave a week before my expected due date, which was 17th July, but my doctor advised me to check in at the hospital on 4th July.  Owing to the previous  delivery which  was a stillbirth, the doctor  did not want me to labour.  On 3rd July,  I went to town, and then passed by my aunt’s office for lunch.  At around 3.00p.m. while still at her office, I noticed some spotting.  However, I was not alarmed and decided  to go home where I cleaned the dishes, prepared supper and then went to take a shower at around 7.00p.m.

At that time I decided to go to the hospital but before that, we passed by town for some shopping.  I was not in a hurry because I was not in any pain.  We arrived at 9.00 p.m.

The doctor examined me and told me I was in labour and had already dilated 4cm.  She performed a vaginal examination and immediately thereafter my waters broke.  She decided to augment labour from 10.00pm to 4.00 am.  I would call the nurses to regularly examine the baby’s heartbeat. I was scared of history repeating itself.

During labour I vomited everything I had eaten that day.  When the doctor examined me to determine the progress of the baby she told me that the baby was breech, lying longitudinally with the buttocks appearing first. She advised me that I would have to undergo a C-section.

I was ready for the C-section because the pain was too much; the medical staff had to steady me by holding my hand while I signed the consent forms.

I was taken to theatre and before I was knocked out by anaesthesia I said a prayer.

My advice to all women who have had a stillbirth experience like mine is that, they should not view that as the end of the world. God has a reason for everything. As long as you still have your uterus, you can have another baby.

END: PG 9/51