Shy Moments 8

Now that I’m Pregnant The Whole World is Pregnant Too
By Sandra Mulluka

Why is it that once a woman is pregnant she notices – that most other women are expecting?

When I was confirmed pregnant at two months, it was as if the whole world was ‘sailing with me in the same boat.’

All of a sudden, there was an ‘outbreak’ and everywhere I looked, I couldn’t miss a pregnant woman. Whenever I looked at a woman closely I could not miss seeing that ‘bump’ even though at that time my own pregnancy was not even showing. I couldn’t go more than a hundred meters without bumping into a ‘comrade’.

Was there a pregnancy bug biting women, or was this syndrome simply contagious? I wondered.

As the pregnancy advanced and was showing, I walked into supermarkets, and—you guessed right—there were more pregnant women than I cared to notice before! They were practically on every shelf I went to books, dairy, baby section, and so on as if fulfilling a pledge! Rather obvious, as our shopping needs were probably very similar.

I would walk straight to the cashier after doing my shopping hoping to escape the queue by taking advantage of shoppers who sympathized with my big bump; only to occasionally be met with rude stares, from none other than other pregnant women also trying to escape the long wait!

Sometimes I would be in a supermarket and would be part of a long ‘express’ lane of pregnant women, especially during end-month shopping!

Shopping in Nairobi’s ‘baby street’ officially known as Biashara Street was a challenge. Knowing how those shops have economized on space, the aisles are not fit for anyone with a diameter of more than 30 inches. As we shopped and passed one another we would face opposite sides and ‘rub’ each other’s backs to avoid doing the same with our bellies!

Once pregnant you feel everyone is looking at you. And that they know exactly how you got pregnant and whether the baby was planned for or not! I noticed how pregnant women look at one another.

The looks range from admiration to disdain. Why admiration? Some marvel at the way you ‘carry’ yourself (and your baggage), depending on how you are dressed and how you walk.

Some pregnant women carry themselves so elegantly— they glow with the radiance of the moon and make the not-pregnant ones green with envy. Yet others make the rest of the world vow never to be caught in the same situation!

There are days I felt this way—that I was the odd one out, feeling outright lazy and haggard. I had my ‘bad hair’ days (sometimes throughout the week), and ‘bad wardrobe’ days.

I was not alone. There were those pregnant women who looked like they walked straight out of a movie (anything from a comedy to a horror would fit the role). Maybe I did look like that to some people; hopefully not.

Away from admiration, disdainful looks came from those ‘experienced’ women who thought ‘she’s too young to be pregnant.’ Some would even offer unsolicited advice, especially on the mode of dressing. Woe unto you if you are pregnant, wearing a pair of trousers or jeans and you meet a ‘conformist’!

Everyday was a fashion show. I would compare hairdos and the ‘latest’ pregnant fashion. Come the weekend I would have seen enough to give me enough ideas on how to keep up! I noticed every bumps and every shape and size: big bumps, small bumps, round ones and shapely ones, clumsy bumps, even flabby, oblique ones—you name it. They were all out there and mine was among them, being assessed by others too! I just hoped mine was fairly judged!

At that time, the ‘in fashion’ was draping a scarf around the body. I think it was meant to conceal the protrusion, never mind the size.

Pregnant women were not just all over the streets. I recall when I went to book my delivery at a city hospital I found so many pregnant women in the waiting room that I almost collapsed.

One, I was very exhausted and all the women occupying the seats were no ‘less pregnant’ than I was. Meaning a courtesy seat was out of question. Getting to the hospital was enough exercise and finding a reception full of pregnant patients was not amusing.

Two, I wondered: if all these women are here to book for delivery, will I get a space when I am due to deliver?

I fell short of asking them when they were due so that I could schedule my delivery around the off-peak period! It seemed like the whole city was pregnant.

And isn’t it interesting that when you are pregnant you get to hear of everyone’s else’s past pregnancy and birth stories? Friends and colleagues volunteer their experiences and compare them with yours. That feels wonderful, except when you are having a problem and a colleague tries to trivialize it with, ‘Yours isn’t so bad: when I was expecting….’ or ‘When I gave birth…’ You never want to hear the end of that line! That is also the time when a friend of a friend had a miscarriage, a cousin of another cousin had nasty delivery, or a colleague’s former colleague lost a baby! Why is it that people insist on telling you these, horror stories when you are pregnant?

If it is not horror stories, it’s your size. Some people tell you they know someone else who is ‘much smaller than you’ at the same number of months. To others you are too sensitive, have worse morning sickness or your face has worse acne than so and so who is also pregnant and is ‘looking so nice you can’t believe her pregnancy is more advanced than yours!’

That aside, I would be talking to a pregnant colleague and she would insist on hearing more about how you are experiencing a certain pain at some place, ‘just like me’.

Looking back, I realize just how pregnant the world can be to a pregnant woman. Well, that’s pregnancy for you!

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