Shy Moments 4

‘Je, Ana Yake?’

My mother has never been impressed by my boyfriend and has time and again warned me against getting impregnated by him. Finally that has come to be the case and I was scared of telling her. Recently my boyfriend visited us because he and I had decided to tell Mum I am pregnant. As we sat watching TV an advertisement was aired about condoms. The three men in the advert each said ‘mimi nina yangu, je una yako?’ I saw my mum give my boyfriend a long inquisitive look as if wondering ‘Je, ana yake?’ I got so nervous that we ended up not telling her about my pregnancy. (Name withheld on request)

FORGOTTEN ZIP
During my pregnancy, I didn’t have maternity trousers but I still wanted to maintain that ‘hip’ look so I used to wear my pre-pregnancy hipsters. As my tummy grew, I stopped zipping up the hipsters as they became tight, but I always wore large tops.

One day as I scrambled to get into a matatu the top that I was wearing moved up but I didn’t know. When I got into the matatu and sat down, the guy seated next to me was smiling funnily at me. I thought he was laughing because of the struggle I had put at the door to get in. As the vehicle started moving, he cheekily told me that I had forgotten to zip my trouser.
Salome

WINDY MEETING
When I was six months pregnant I had a hard time controlling my urge to pass wind. Any sudden movement and the wind would be out! During that time we had a staff meeting where we were required to present our views to the management. At one point the meeting was so heated that I lost my breaks and let out something silent but smelly. Those near me looked at me but I pretended I was not the one. As the meeting progressed, I really wanted to air my views and so I tried to catch the chairman’s attention. Just as he asked me to speak, a loud one escaped; this time all eyes were on me! One of my colleagues ran to open the door while the whole room burst out laughing. I was so embarrassed I could not participate further in the discussion!
Wambo

FORTIETH DAY
I got pregnant while I was in high school and I tried to hide it as best as I could. In school, I never took off my pullover. One day during a practical Biology lesson in the laboratory, most of us were dozing and this made the teacher order us to take off our sweaters so that we can concentrate. My classmates did so albeit grudgingly and I was the only one left with mine on. When the teacher asked me why I still had mine on, I lied to her and said that I was not feeling well and was having some chills. She did not believe me.

She called me to the front of the class and asked me to take the sweater off; after all, it was a very hot day. After I took it off and she saw my big belly, she exclaimed, ‘You are pregnant!’ My 40 days of cheating were over. My face was flushed in embarrassment. I stood there with my head bent as my classmates laughed at me while shouting my boyfriend’s name, who was also in my class. Needless to say I was sent home and my parents got to find out.
Sherry

KUJI-ENJOY
Travelling by public means while pregnant has become my biggest nightmare. Not because I expect any favours from other passengers, but while some kind and well-meaning touts will do anything to ensure I am treated, some passengers are rude and insulting. One such tout requested a fellow passenger, ‘Mpe mama huyu mja mzito aketi hapo.’ Although he did not direct it at me, I overheard one of the other passengers say, ‘Kwani akiji-enjoy alikuwa amekaa chini?’ I felt very offended; even though it is true I did not get pregnant while seated!
Kui

PREGNANT KID
I was shocked beyond words when I took my six-year-old daughter to hospital recently with a skin problem. In addition to the rashes, she had over the past two days kept touching her tummy and told me, ‘Mum I feel something in my stomach.’ I had ignored the stomach complaint because she used it often when she did not want to eat.

When we were ushered into the consultation cubicle at the hospital the doctor let us settle down and then asked me what her problem was. ‘She has some rashes…’ I explained. My daughter looked up shyly at the doctor and said, ‘I am pregnant.’ There was a hush in the room and I was thrown into a moment of panic! I quickly asked her, ‘Who told you that?!’ She calmly replied, ‘Mum I heard you telling mummy wa kina Jessica that your skin was ‘bad’ and you have rashes because you are pregnant.’
Marry Anne

END: PG4/50