Sex during pregnancy

IF you are pregnant or planning to be you have probably found a lot of information about sex before pregnancy and sex after childbirth. But probably much less about sex during pregnancy. This may be attributed to some cultural tendencies or other factors that seem to dissociate expectant mothers from sexuality. This is a topic that many parents-to-be ask, and while there is no straight forward answer, there are some guidelines as to the safety of sex and what is “normal” for most couples.

Then again, what is normal tends to vary widely, since there are no two pregnancies that are alike, and what is normal to one couple is a complete no-no for another! One thing that’s certain and that you have to be prepared for is the fact that there will be changes in your sex life. How you deal with the changes will determine your relationship post-natal. Open communication is the key to a satisfying and safe sexual relationship during pregnancy.

Remember, ‘normal’ is a relative term when it comes to sex during pregnancy and you and your partner need to discuss what feels right for both of you. A normal Pregnancy is defined as ~ that is low-risk for complications such as miscarriage or pre-term labor.  Of course just because sex is safe during pregnancy does not mean you’ll necessarily want to have it. Many expectant mothers will attest to the fact that their desire for sex fluctuates during certain stages pregnancy. Sex also becomes quite tricky for pregnant women as their bodies get larger.

It is important for you and your partner to keep talking openly ‘regarding your sexual relationship. Talk about other ways to satisfy your need for intimacy, such as kissing, caressing, and holding each other. You also may need to experiment with other positions for sex to find the most comfortable.

For many women sex in late pregnancy takes a back-seat and they lose their desire and motivation – not only because of their size but also because of the impending delivery and the excitement of having a baby.

When it is Not Safe? However, there are sexual positions that any pregnant should NOT engage in as these will put both her and the baby at risk.

These are:

• If you engage in oral sex, your partner should not blow air into your vagina. Blowing air can cause an air embolism (a blockage of a blood vessel by an air bubble), which can be potentially fatal for mother and child.
• You should not have sex with a partner whose sexual history is unknown to you or who may have a sexually transmitted disease, such as herpes, genital warts, Chlamydia, or HIV. If you become infected, these diseases have potential of being transmitted to your baby, with potentially dangerous consequences.

If your doctor anticipates or detects certain significant complications with your pregnancy, he/she is likely to advise against sexual intercourse. The most common risk factors include a history or threat of miscarriage, a history of pre-term labour (you’ve previously delivered a baby before 37 weeks) or signs indicating the risk of pre-term labour (such as premature uterine contractions), unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping, leakage of amniotic fluid (the fluid that surrounds the baby), placenta previa- a condition in which the placenta is situated down so low that it covers the cervix (the opening of the uterus). Other complications are an incompetent cervix – a condition in which the cervix is weakened and dilates (opens) prematurely raising the risk for miscarriage or premature delivery and multiple foetuses, if you are having more than one baby.

Can sex harm my baby?
Your baby is fully protected by the amniotic sac (a thin- walled bag that holds the foetus and surrounding fluid) and the strong muscles of the uterus. There is also a thick mucus plug that seals the cervix and helps guard against infection. During sex, the penis does not come into contact with the foetus.

Can intercourse or orgasm cause miscarriage or stimulate labour?
If your pregnancy is classified in the normal or low-risk category, then your answer is no. The contractions that you may feel during and just after orgasm are entirely different from the contractions associated with labour. However, check with your doctor to be sure where your pregnancy falls. Some doctors recommend you stop having sex during the final weeks of pregnancy, just as a safety precaution. This is from the belief that semen contains a chemical that may actually stimulate contractions.

How does pregnancy affect my sex drive?
Actually, pregnancy brings two possibilities; an increased or decreased drive (and everything in between), which are all normal. This increase and decrease varies generally according to the trimesters. For many pregnant women, symptoms such as fatigue, nausea, breast tenderness and the frequent need to urinate make sex too bothersome, especially during the first trimester. In the second trimester fatigue and nausea subside, and to some women this brings an increased desire for sex. Also, the freedom from worries about contraception, combined with a renewed sense of closeness with their partner, makes sex more fulfilling for others. Desire generally subsides again during the third trimester as the foetus grows even larger and the reality of the future checks in.

Your partner’s desire for sex is likely to increase or decrease as well. While some men feel even closer to their pregnant partner and enjoy the changes in their bodies, others experience decreased desire because of anxiety about the burdens of parenthood, or concerns about the health of both the mother and their unborn child. Some men have been known to have trouble reconciling a woman’s identity as a sexual partner with her new (and increasingly visible) identity as an expectant mother.

Communication with your partner can be a great help in dealing with these issues. Consult your healthcare provider if you notice any unusual symptoms after intercourse, such as pain, bleeding, or discharge, or if you experience contractions that seem to continue after sex.

END: PG 07 /12-13