Not again! Yet again…
This is what I said after leaving the delivery room, 7 am not sure I want another one! Not in a few years.’ That was one and a half years ago.
I am now 20 weeks on and not thinking much about my confessions from the delivery room; or about the pregnancy which coupled with horrid nausea the first four months, is quite different from my first one.
My one and a half year old first born son is a bunch of activity that keeps me on my toes. What with the tantrums and calling for my attention. Oh yes I know ‘mum is the greatest’ an opinion I would not exchange for anything else, but it’s a bit difficult to really just sit and think about myself let alone the fact that I have another being in me.
Consolingly, I found out the other day that I am not the only pregnant mother who is dealing with thoughts of how this baby will fit into my preoccupied heart and life. I checked with some friends who have toddlers and was relived to hear that they also had to readjust the balances—especially emotionally. Having already bonded and established a rapport with my toddler, then quickly back to square one with another little one?
It will take God. Still, one does not want to sow seeds of rejection in the baby so early in life. So mama has to deal with it and be willing to make sufficient room for all her lovely babies in her heart. It’s their right. And don’t get me started on whether it’s a boy or a girl because that settled in me when I realized that a healthy child is all that matters.
When it comes to the layette collection, many things seem to be left dangling this time round. Last time I had done the major shopping by now. washed and even packed away the little pretty things! Now… well, maybe it’s the little experience I have that is telling me to relax. As for antenatal clinic, at least I heeded my hubby’s sound advice and did the responsible thing—start immediately.
And the baby is well, only that my dear one-and-a-half is not noticing my growing tummy together with the docile nature. So at times his rough handling is still forthcoming, an activity I have had to counter by instilling a bit of discipline and explaining why the rough stuff is currently not acceptable—of course with a bit of understanding every time I do it. He is improving I must say.
Did I want another child? Yes… Just that I had nearly forgotten how intense the pregnancy period can be. This time round I got a few bouts of down feelings, due to the increased demands as a mother among other responsibilities, on top of hormonal changes and physical adjustments. Well. I have decided to take it all in stride and not to blame my pregnancy for my entire issues. Of course some have totally nothing to do with it.
There are times when my hubby teases and asks whether he can help me carry the baby. Very funny!!! Indeed! Though I think when all is said and done. I know he means well, considering that his mother is his Ms-fix-it.
It is evident that if there was a way he would help share the pregnancy so as to lessen the discomfort and make the forty weeks a lighter journey, he would.
In the midst of all this. I find comfort in the scripture. ’Come to me all you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.’ Matt 11:28. I choose to rest even when pregnancy can turn out to be the most laborious thing.
END: PG21/13