Mixed blessings

Nine months have borne fruit of a healthy baby. Friends and family flock around you and the newborn to celebrate with you. But before you know it, the initial excitement paves way to the rigors of new parenthood. Rebecca Njoki highlights some of these challenges.

Whose time?
New mothers find themselves attending to the newborn, the family and the frequent number of guests streaming in. They are caught in the challenge of monitoring the baby’s feeding schedule, the number of times he naps and when he needs to have a diaper changed, learning to listen to the baby’s wailing and trying to interpret what each crying means, so as to attend to the newborn accordingly.

They know ‘A one’ hygiene is paramount so life becomes about cleaning this and disinfecting that, Suddenly, the new mum falls back on schedule to attending to herself. Her social life is cut down or it becomes non-existent.

She needs support to distribute time fairly-particularly making some for herself.

Baby blues
Baby blues can be described as a drop in hormonal levels causing a mother to have mood swings the first two weeks after birth.

One time, she is happy and the next she is crying or sulky. She may also have loss of appetite and find it hard to sleep even if the baby is restful. Different women react differently to this drop.

Anna, a new mother said that she was seething inside for being unnoticed by visitors. ‘No one seemed to notice me, yet I am the one who had gone through an operation-and the one to nurse and change diapers. All attention (including my husband’s) was on the baby. It was simply unfair!’

The blues are natural and the most important thing to note is that they clear after a while. Should they get terribly intense or last longer, you may need to check with your doctor as the case may be postpartum depression.

Back to the office
‘It is so hard to concentrate at work now that I am back from my maternity leave!’ Patricia, a new mum exclaims.

This sentiment is shared by most new mothers especially if they are unsure of the credibility of their house help or when they cannot just get away from their babies. Hours are spent on checking with her helper at home. Any free opportunity can easily see her rushing home to check on the baby.

Leaking breasts is another issue. There are those occasional embarrassing moments’ at the workplace when a colleague happens to ask what that wetness on your blouse is, or the concern that your colleagues are noting with the number of trips you are making to the washroom to express milk.

The situation becomes harder if your work requires you to travel frequently and/or involves projects that require long hours at work.

Body changes
Well, as much as the love for your babv is worth the C-section and episiotomy scars, stretch-marks and the new weight your body has adorned, sometimes the changes bother you.

The consolation is that, first they are universal. Secondly, you may go back to the previous you with time especially if you are diligent at doing whatever it takes-for example, doing workouts to cut down.

Dieting
Most mums are in a dilemma on the diet to pick especially if they have gained weight. The simplest way out is picking one that would nourish the baby while nursing yet help them lose weight.

Having lost most of her nutrients in pregnancy and childbirth, a mother should feed on nutritional food that contains vitamins and minerals that have been depleted during childbirth.

Colicky baby
The baby is well fed, not wet, has no fever but will just not stop wailing. That is colic. This rattles the already tired nerves of a new mother and she is at a point of near-breaking; at three months, the baby is a peaceful angel at last.

The reassuring news is that it is a common condition from when the baby is about three weeks old to about three months.

Sex life
Even after the six weeks recommended by doctors for resuming sex, some women complain of a diminished urge for sex. This mostly results from being extremely conscious of their new looks and constant worry that their husbands may have a negative light about them.

As intensively discussed in Pregnant Issue 12 (pg 54-57), the sexual interest can be recovered by accepting that the body has changed as a result of the beautiful product you both made-the baby. A lot depends on the agreement that the parents will make depending on the mother’s soreness, her energy levels and whether she has problem with her lubrication.

END: PG20/56-57