Let her be…

Pregnant bellies fascinate the human mind. From the uncanny urge to touch a stranger’s bulging belly, to the simplest act of generosity like giving a pregnant woman way in the queue are all acts that show how we hold pregnant women in awe.

I recently had an urge to touch my sister-in-law’s extremely good looking pregnant belly only to be hit with the printed words in her T-shirt-‘Don’t touch it.’

Now, that made me somewhat surprised and I smiled to myself, but not before getting her message. I set out to find other acts that are put offs to pregnant women.

The good Samaritan
Can I rub your back? Unless it is someone close to you, do not ask this question; despite your noble intentions, it may sound rude to ask a complete stranger or someone you know only casually if you can rub her back.

Still pregnant?
You haven’t had the baby yet? Mmmh, if you see a pregnant woman and she is not carrying a newborn with her, do not ask this question. She may have been pregnant for as long as you can remember but it is better to keep it to yourself.

On her extraordinary big built
Sometimes we get the temptation to ask, ‘Are you having twins?’ or say, ‘ You must be carrying a really big baby!’ or even, ‘ Your bump is so small!’ A woman can be big or small-I intentionally leave out medium-and so can be her pregnancy. Depending on her feelings, what may be to you a compliment may end up offending her; she may interpret it that she has gained too much or too little weight compared to the norm.

No need to stare
You may have seen extremely big bellies and forgotten an important social rule, ‘It is not polite to stare.’ Seeing once is enough-no need to track the pregnant woman with your eyes until she disappears round the corner. If you must, don’t be too obvious!

On labour
‘Are you nervous about labour?’ The answer to this question is rather obvious, especially if you are talking to a first time mum. Rather than ask this question, it may be more appropriate to offer some encouragement.

On health
A pregnant woman coughs and you go, ‘Are you okay?’ with a woiyee look that will make her feel her condition is an illness. It is kind to be concerned about a pregnant woman’s state, but do not treat her like a patient.

Knowing it all
It can be irritating for a pregnant woman to have a friend or relative who seems to know it all. It is not good practice to assume a pregnant woman is always looking for advice; sometimes company is all she desires, or a chat on things unrelated to her pregnancy.

Pushy marketers
Of course a pregnant woman wants to know what to buy for herself and her upcoming baby, but do not be overbearing in trying to sell ideas to her. Unsolicited advise such as, ‘I know where you can find a good massage therapist’ may not always be received kindly. There are sales men who will rush to a pregnant woman in the street to persuade them to buy products such as diapers and other pregnancy-related stuff. No problem with that, but be sensitive when she says ‘no, thank you.’ Sometimes all a pregnant woman wants to do is stroll peacefully.

Mentor?
It is not proper to assume that a pregnant woman knows everything about pregnancy; so do not rush to her asking all sorts of questions. On the contrary, a pregnant woman is also searching for answers to many of her own questions. Even a second or third time mum will tell you no pregnancy is like the one before.

END: PG20/31