‘I had childbirth phobia’

My mother’s advice when I was a teenager made me dead scared about childbirth

‘DURING my teenage years, I remember my mother always telling me that giving birth was the most painful experience any woman could go through.

When I look back today, I suppose she used to tell me this to discourage me from irresponsible behaviour that would eventually see me get pregnant while at that tender age. And she did succeed in her efforts because I maintained chastity until I got married.

I conceived a year into my marriage and this was the most wonderful moment in my entire life. For some time, I completely forgot my mother’s words of caution and took pleasure in my pregnancy. However, her words came back into my mind, when I was nine months into the pregnancy, and I started dreading my EDD.

It is then that I recalled each and every one of my mother’s words concerning labour and started fearing for the worst. This was aggravated by the numerous recounts by other women about their painful childbirth experiences. I became anxious and started imagining how horrible my own delivery process would be.

I collapsed two days before my EDD, and was rushed to the hospital. I was diagnosed with fatigue and was immediately put on bed rest. While on medication, I went into labour.

I experienced painful labour for two consecutive days and eventually had an emergency Caesarean Section because the baby was in distress. Nevertheless, I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy weighing 3.2 kgs.

I stayed in the hospital for three days after delivery and was finally released in stable condition on the fourth day. I had this mistaken belief that motherhood would be easy. Even after delivering, it took me sometime before I overcame the fears of childbirth that my mother had instilled in me.

Sometimes. I would experience nightmares at night, which would make me start screaming. I would dream that I was giving birth to a still born or one with deformities. As a result of my screaming and unease at night, I would wake up the baby.

Lack of sleep and high levels of restlessness, made me absolutely miserable, tired and cranky on most days. Sometimes I felt sad and lonely despite having constant support from my husband and other family members.

Although my husband and I had initially agreed to have three kids, this experience really discouraged me and made me change my mind. I did not wish to have another baby. I solemnly swore never to go through childbirth again. When I talked to my husband recently about my resolve not to have another baby, he was annoyed and disappointed: we ended up quarrelling over the issue.

He insisted on finding out why I had suddenly changed our initial plan of having three children. When he noticed that was reluctant to respond to him, he suggested we go see our family counsellor.

This is when, for the first time, he came to understand what I was experiencing birth fears that were slowly turning into Post Partum Depression (PPD). The fact that I had recently come out of a C-section was also taking its toll on me because I had not expected to go through an operation.

My husband was shocked upon hearing this revelation, and resolved to help me get through it.

The counsellor advised us on the appropriate precautions we were supposed to take. He prescribed antidepressant medications and advised me to relax and concentrate on taking care of my baby.

Initially, I was sceptical about the medication because I thought it would not work for me. I eventually started taking the drugs, which helped; I started feeling better several weeks later.

My husband encourages me and lends a helping hand whenever possible.

I would like to encourage first-time mothers to always seek help whenever they feel depressed. Most importantly, they should be frank and tell their husbands about any difficulties they might be experiencing. This will make their motherhood experience more enjoyable.’

The narrator of this story sought anonymity.

END:PG14/74