Fear Factor in Expectant Fathers
Different temperaments in expectant mothers require varied ways of handling them. What happens when the fear or emotional turmoil becomes an issue for the man?
Research has shown that even men harbour pregnancy fears. The foremost question on the mind of every father to be is, ‘Will I be a good father?’ The man will no doubt want to be the best father for the unborn child. This is the reason why they worry that they may fail in this noble calling.
Besides being a role model for the child, the man is still expected to be the solid foundation for the wife, and to learn to multi-task—now that his love has to be extended to the child too. Fortunately, you need not worry as a father to be. You only need to prepare yourself financially, psychologically and emotionally.
Preparations can include budgeting for the needs of the expected child, taking parenting lessons and where need be counselling classes. This should cater for fear number two which is, ‘Can I financially support my family?’ Setting aside money for the baby’s daily needs is an antidote for any anxiety that might arise in the financial arena among expectant fathers. Involve your partner in drawing up plans that meet your financial obligations. Invest money in insurance policies where possible, such as medical and educational policies. In instances of financial upheavals, the father might consider additional sources of income such as business or part time work whichever is possible. Nonetheless, any consideration should always put the family’s interests first.
Thirdly, many expectant fathers often worry about whether they can handle their wife’s emotional changes. Definitely yes! Your wife is going to showcase a side of her that you have never seen before, but it is no cause for alarm. No matter how close you are. hormonal shifts during pregnancy are bound to trigger strange emotions. Though hard to deal with, these emotional imbalances are just sporadic and disappear as fast as they appear. Because women respond differently during pregnancy, you are advised to anticipate the unexpected. The father to be should be open minded and willing to cope with matters as they arise albeit with lots of patience and understanding.
Am I the real father? You may possibly be asking yourself this question. Some expectant fathers develop this fear imagining that they are incapable of having created such an incredible being. This is a sub-conscious fear that nobody should live with and one needs to understand that it is God’s miracle that children are conceived and born.
An expectant father might also be worried that he may die too young. Men have been known to get involved in all sorts of childish games and to cling to their mothers for various reasons. It is because they want to remain young, to take charge of all risky undertakings. Just remember that with the coming of the baby you should not stop living. Alternatively, you can also involve yourself in playing games with the little ones once they arrive.
In certain situations, the expectant father can be worried about the survival of the mother and baby. We are all mortal and at times the fear can overwhelm us when compounded with health complications. Technological advancement and improved medical facilities have made sure that maternal mortality and child death at birth are no longer such great concerns. Hence, there is no cause for alarm.
Will my wife love our child more than I? This question will cross many an expectant father’s mind. A mother is bound to shower the new born with all the love and care at your expense. During pregnancy, the father may be anxious about this, dreading the coming of the baby. In order to manage this problem well, the partners need to understand the complexities of the new responsibility and how to share it out. Taking turns on the baby would be the best way of spicing up the way you relate so that no partner feels left out or unneeded.
On average, many expectant fathers worry about what to do during pregnancy with the assumption that they do not understand ‘women’s’ problems. It is only through involvement that the men can learn and understand how to help their partners with the pregnancy.
Other expectant fathers have tended to worry whether they will be of good support during childbirth. The best way to overcome such worry is to take birthing classes with your partner. Buying books on issues of pregnancy and basic skills on birth processes can help you prepare for this great experience. Besides, accompanying your wife to the antenatal clinic and listening to her needs can as well be all you need.
Some men do not like children. Consequently, they are concerned about their ability to cope with their own babies. Surprisingly, wait until the new bundle of joy arrives. The little angel will change your life in a myriad ways. You find that as you wake up each day, an enviable bond is formed between you and the baby. The issues highlighted here should help you exercise your paternal instincts in a better way as you come to terms with the pregnancy.
END:PG16/62