Blessings come in Twos

Identical twins in society has always been a spectacle. They are fascinating to watch, a rare phenomenon to say the least. Pregnant got an opportunity to talk to Sylvia and Connie, identical twins who lead a similar life-and not always according to design.

The birth of twins in traditional African society was looked upon with mixed feelings. It was an occurrence after the after the ordinary. Twins were treated with a special care and in some instances, fear. Some communities were known to encourage the killings of twins. To them, it was a bad omen. Superstition aside, the African society’s love for children was unequaled. Births were greeted with great joy and satisfaction. A sign of fertility in the couple, a sign of continuity.

Time and many civilizations later, the twin phenomenon still awes us. And to see that both were expecting-it was intriguing ‘Was this planned? Was the inevitable question.

‘This was not planned, answers Connie. “We have always tried to be different in all our undertakings. But somehow, regardless of time and space, our actions seem similar and planned.’ Does it bother you, when people assume that most of what you do is arranged? ‘You get used to it,’ joins Sylvia. ‘You stop getting annoyed when people call you your twin’s name. In nursery school, our teacher had to tell us to wear different coloured clothes so that he could easily identify us. We are two people but, but to others we are one. We have to live with this.

Two people treated as one? This is fascinating. How do your partners take it? ‘My fiancée met Sly first,’ reveals Connie smiling. ‘Bonding did not happen for them. Later on when he got to meet me, he still thought I was Sly.I did tell him I had a twin sister though. Meeting me must have convinced him that he was meant to be with one of the twins. We hit it off and here we are.’

Brian, Connie’s fiancée states that as much as it may have seemed difficult to tell the two apart, he and Jasper (Sylvia’s partner) ‘managed to come up with traits to lookout for to differentiate them,’ says Brian.

‘Sly is the golden one. Whenever we met them we always looked out for who was wearing what. We did not entirely depend on this but again on closer view, Connie is a bit taller compared to her sister and Sylvia has a visible mark on the left of her upper lip. This may be the real telling signal.’

Sylvia speaks…

I am engaged to Jasper Mugambi and we have been together for four years. There comes a time in a woman’s life when having a baby seems the best thing to do. We had not reached that point even though we had had discussions on the prospects of starting a family.

I am 27 years old and a bit traditional because I still believe that contraceptives should not dominate the lives of two people who trust each other. So as we were in the process of thinking about a baby, the baby on the other hand, made its mind for us.

I figured that something was amiss when I started having continuous cramps, with no sign of my period. One night. I had a strange feeling in my tummy and so to quell my rising anxiety as to what could be wrong; I decided to pay a visit to a doctor. I debated whether to ask Jasper to accompany me but I decided otherwise. I was to do a pregnancy test and the verdict was that I was three weeks expectant. The news was exciting for both of us.

WEDDING
The fact that we have not had an official church ceremony was a damper to my father when he heard the news. He suggested a wedding immediately. I could not imagine myself in a beautiful white dress with a bulging tummy, and so I requested my father to hold his horses. My twin sister and I could surprise him with the wedding of the century!

HAS ANYTHING CHANGED?
Before this pregnancy. Jasper and I were just like any other young couple out to have fun. But not any more. My bulging belly demands for more responsibility and wisdom. Now you will find us discussing about what the future holds for our small family, and it is interesting to note that we now view the world with more caution and alertness, lest we lose our focus on getting the best for our baby.

I WANTED A BOY
He wanted a girl. Neither of us wanted a surprise; we also wanted to start shopping early. When we went for a scan to know our baby’s sex. Jasper was overly excited. He was confident the baby is a girl. He had even picked out a name for her. Jasmine. He has a thing with rhyme and his name and hers rhyme beautifully. I felt left out. The results favored his wish. One can only imagine his elation. Initially I had saved two names for the baby. Shawn for a boy and Natasha for a girl. When I asked my sister if she had any names singled out. I was so shocked at her choice. Just like I. she had in mind ‘Shawn’ and ‘Natasha’ Eerie!

EATING HABITS
Before I fell pregnant, chicken was my favourite dish. But when I eat it now, I puke.  Lately I have developed this uncanny liking for matoke. I even eat rice and beans, a meal that was not my liking before. My pizza and burger joint must be missing my hitherto frequent visits.

IT CAN NOT BE MORNING SICKNESS!
Mine was whole-day sickness! At two months I had extreme nausea and the morning sickness was terrible. I could not consume anything for an entire day since whatever I partook invariably left my system. I was on vitamins and tried to force bits of food down my throat. My doctor told me that I would get better as the pregnancy progressed, much to my relief. Now. at 7 months. I have added 10 kilograms to my weight.

SLEEPING POSITION
It is difficult to sleep now that I am in my third trimester. I have these constant back pains that hardly allow me to find a nice position to sleep at night. It is real uncomfortable and my partner insists that I should stop going to work soon. However, this is not what I intend to do. I want to take time off after the delivery of my baby to give me adequate time with her.

NORMAL DELIVERY? NO THANK YOU!
I do not think I have enough strength to push come my EDD. I am for an elective C-Section. I can imagine myself pushing on the d-day and my baby refusing to come out. My mother has tried to change my mind but unfortunately it is already made up. I have heard too many pregnancy horror stories. I am not trying to be a wet blanket but I guess this is a personal decision. I have been assured of a bikini cut which heals much faster.

CHILDBIRTH CLASSES

My partner has suggested that we start attending the childbirth classes but we are yet to start. I then might change my mind in as far as the C-Section goes. But I can only wait and see. I do not want to lose my breath in the delivery room.

FELL DOWN THE STAIRS
I fell down the stairs when I was five months pregnant. It was scary. But I went for a scan which showed that ray baby was doing fine. I could imagine what she was thinking. ‘Mummy, be careful next time, do not kill me!’ I am more careful now.

MOODY? FOR JASPER YES
It is funny but Jasper is the only guy who seems to have issues with my moods. He keeps saying they are especially foul in the morning. I have not noticed any change though. But what do I hate most? Those roving eyes that cannot keep off my bump. Do people have to stare that intensely?

GOOGLING JAYDEN
I was looking for a fancy name on the internet and as I googled I stumbled upon this beautiful name. I rushed to tell Connie about my exciting find. Before I could let out the big news. Connie blurted out ‘Sly. I found this really beautiful name in Google, which we could name our babies.’ I asked her to say it. and lo and behold, it was the same name I had.

MY BIRTH PARTNER
Jasper will be by my side. The big day is October 25th 2008. All I can do now is wait patiently.

Connie speaks…

‘When my twin Sly told me that she was pregnant. I had just got my pregnancy test results indicating that I was not. That was in February. All along I had planned to get pregnant in the beginning of this year. It was natural that I was envious. Luckily, as fate would have it, I conceived the following month. My pregnancy has been uneventful, from the onset. The morning sickness I so dreaded was short lived.

CRAVINGS AND DISLIKES
None at all. I was advised by a friend to take a certain tablet to avoid cravings. She said it would help balance my eating; habits and keep all cravings away. It has worked for me. I eat basically everything. I avoid spicy food though because it can give me heartburns. My EDD is on 4th of December.

LABOUR AND DELIVERY PLANS
My birth partner will either be my fiance Brian, or Eva. my best friend. It would have been Sly. but I know by the time I deliver she will have her hands full with her one month-old baby. I am scared of being her birth partner too. so I will let her pick someone else. I want to deliver by C-section. I fear the complications that may arise white having a normal birth.

BOY OR GIRL?
I had a similar choice of baby names with Sly even before we could discuss. It will be Natasha for a girl or Jayden if it is a boy.

BEST MOMENTS
I love the exceptional treatment that society accords me. I never queue for long at the bank or supermarket before somebody excuses me. I do not even have to ask!

SUPPORT
My mum was excited about the news. But it is my friends who have been fighting to take me shopping: I am humbled by their support. They also provide me with much needed advice and information. My sister being advanced in her pregnancy by a month also tells me what to expect. We often meet and chat, trading stories about our experiences.

ANY PREGNANCY MYTHS?
Some people think that they can determine the sex of your baby by looking at your face. They tell me that if I get acne or crave for meat I will get a boy. I do not think this is true.

LAST TRIMESTER
Of late I tire easily, and my feet keep swelling. At night I find it hard to fall asleep immediately due to backache.
I have to walk around first until I get sleepy. Lately, I have been having a slight pain in my diaphragm. The doctor has assured me that the baby is probably turning. But just to be sure I will soon be going for a scan. I am prepared for my baby’s arrival.’

END: PG17/23-26