A Cheery Valentine’s Surprise

‘If I had a clue, I would have worn something that emphasizes more curves you know,’ said Panda, and we both laughed ruefully.

‘I can assure you that you aren’t doing that badly, you have one big curve that I can see from the moon!’ I said pointing a naughty finger at her distended tummy.

Next to our Chief Executive Officer Mr. Young, was Mike the General Manager, jovial in his buggy khaki pants and a button down snow white shirt. Followed on his left by Ron, the Marketing Manager, a plump man with ruddy cheeks and an ’l-am-here-to-please’ smile. Then there was Bob the Research Manager, impeccable and charming.

In the front on the right side of the CEO was Abby, the Customer Relations Manager, a glowing pretty woman, and left on my side, Peter, the acting Logistics Manager, a six foot tall fellow who blocked the view of anyone behind him. The rest of my colleagues were comfortably lined at the back rows -making us all look like a choir about to perform.

Mr. Young asked the office administrator to pull the screen up. Seconds later, our guests displayed a weird assortment of facial expressions when we were revealed to them. I registered a mutation as their looks of surprise and pleasant shock were quickly replaced by a coy look of reluctant acceptance – faster than their mouths could form an ‘Oh my goodness!’

Mr. Young, who was looking sharp in a fitting grey Italian suit and a white collarless shirt, was in full control of the situation. ‘HAPPY VALENTINE!’ he shouted to our audience, in his high pitched voice.

Finally as the pun sank, some of our spouses brightened up and burst out into neighing of laughter in short hand muffled spurts. It was pleasantly unbelievable. Mr. Young introduced his wife and they had the honor of the first dance.

Panda, who was marooned in the midst of our guests, was hard to trace for some time Being quite short, it would be hard to find her in the midst of all these people, especially those of our Logistics Manager’s build. She told me later she mostly listened instead of trying to see anything over people’s heads and shoulders.

It was not easy but I found her. ‘Hi! Do I know you?’ I feigned curiosity as I tapped her on the shoulder. She was jerked to alertness, seemingly recovering from what seemed to me a momentary trance.

‘Happy Valentine Panda baby!’ I said as I tried to rope my hands around her for a clumsy hug (That Panda has become so round belied to be hugged right) A soul peck followed.

‘Happy Valentine Lee darling’, her rich voice blessed my ears.’ You guys had me all fooled up and apprehensive. A company emergency, huh?’

‘Indeed it was!’ I replied with bravado.’  Would you have fancied seeing me alone in a ballroom full of necking couples?’ I added quickly.

‘Would you? Not with the lines your secretary used to get me here, and not after your phone suddenly went off.’  This time she added a scornful of looks.

I was pleased by our receptionist I planned to later track and thank her. I was also curious to know the bait she had used to hook my wife and all the other spouses on board. Not wanting to lie to Panda, I had requested her to come up with some proper lines that would get Panda to the party on time.

‘If I had a clue, I would hove worn something that emphasizes more curves you know,’ said Panda, and we both laughed ruefully.

‘I can assure you that you aren’t doing that badly, you have one big curve that I can see from the moon!’ I said pointing a naughty finger at her distended tummy. And that was another cue to laugh even some more.

The party was underway; the atmosphere electric, with soothing rhythms coming from the speakers hidden among the colorful ribbons and balloons. The vibrations were invigorating and everybody appeared to be having fun. Nobody seems to waste time when it comes to making party adjustments. There were already clustering in small cupid groups making new family acquaintances and indulging in wild banter.

The neatly banqueted table arrangements for two, were being momentarily shunned in preference to groupies, as talk and laughter erupted everywhere within the giant ballroom. The bartenders worked like bees, busily mixing endless supplies of cocktails to quench 36 couples, as a bevy of young ladies, garlandlike in their black skirts, white blouses and red jackets, sauntered hither and dither with drink laden trays for refills.

‘This is a cheery surprise indeed,’ Panda observed In an airy voice as I guided her towards the drink section ‘But it feels so unlike you to be enjoined in such a public serendipitous idea,’ she said at last.

‘It was not my idea,’ I confessed dryly, agreeing that my lady understood me well, like her favorite cook book. A mass Valentine’s party lingered at the bottom of my list of choices, for sure. Then whose was it?’ Panda paused in her walk, suddenly wanting a name out of the envelope.’Who else but him?’ I gesticulated with an elbow, not wanting to seem disrespectful by pointing at the CEO. I momentarily slid into recollection about how this party was pulled off.

Just a week before Valentine’s day, Mr. Young’s robot-like voice had suddenly rented the air via the intercom. ‘All managers! In my office, now!’ It was the 7th of February. Now, our CEO never uses the intercom in preference to the e-mail unless, the office is on fire, or, a client is threatening…

‘The United Nations is threatening.’ Was his opening remark before we could even take our seats. He wiped a strand of sweat from his brow with the back of his palm. Unlike the shrill that had summoned us to his office, he was now whining in a more civilized low monotone.

“This file,’ he waved a slim yellow manila folder menacingly in our general direction ‘was given to me just before we closed for the holidays. Somehow, l was overwhelmed by events to remember. They called me yesterday to inquire about it. I had to assure them it will be delivered on the I5th of February. Gentlemen, my fault or not, we cannot afford to disappoint this client as you all know.’ He was darting his eyes keenly at us, as if afraid of seeing mass negative reactions, which we had successfully managed to hide in masks of attentive faces.

‘Guys, please,’ continued his pleading voice, ‘We only have a week to hand over the report and I will need all the support I can get from all of you. We must deliver. I have ordered the accounts and all the secretaries to be at your disposal starting now’. He finished by sliding the file expertly across the desk, where it made a dead stop upon hitting Mike’s burly stomach.

A standard UN report of any kind takes a minimum of three weeks to research, compile end publish, and a one week ultimatum sounded like a dose of occupational suicide. However, when it came to the UN and its many arms of Operations, Mr. Young’s anxiety was professionally justifiable. The company is majorly on its feet because of the vast projects we have undertaken on their behalf over time They have single handedly made a deference between the 3-bedroom maisonette we once rented for an office and the giant sky scraper we now own and manage. Cold shivers ran down our spines when we discovered what our CEO had done. He was on the way to ruining our respective Valentine’s celebrations!

Our CEO’s sudden display of his helpless persona probably shattered our instincts to protest.  He always tags it along to flash out during his time of need.  When it comes to lobotomizing his no-nonsense superior self, he definitely is talented. He uses it to embrace this sorry, innocently cherubic form that could amass sympathy from anyone, including the UN.

As the manager in charge of research and data analysis, I was to contend with one of the most assaulting and hectic period of one week in my career. I had to bid a quick farewell to an angrily protesting Panda and hop into an impromptu flight to southern Sudan. ‘I am not to be around in Valentine’s day,’ I predicted humbly in a manner to seek her sympathy. Of course she did not buy that. She shook my hand with a professional goodbye busy one’ gesture.

The plane compartment reminded me of the khoi-san tribe of the Kalahari, as my team clicked continuously all the way in protest. The task ahead was huge and we would have to work tirelessly not only during the day, but also spend many hours of the night discussing and compiling notes.

Once on the ground, part of our collective motivation to finish the job, I soon discovered, stemmed from the unwillingness of most of us to spend our Valentine’s Day as expatriates. I silently thanked God for St Valentine, saving me the task of wearing my voice hoarse commandeering unruly truants sleeping on the job. It was a sad mood however, when the eve of Valentine’s caught up with us having lots of uncompleted work. And great probability was that it was going to spill over to the very Valentine’s night. My prediction to Panda was coming true, and she was not bothering to call me on this day’

The gloom was haunting as sulking took center stage. When the C.E.O called that evening to inquire about the progress, I relayed my fears to him, how my entire team was greatly demoralized by the idea of Valentine’s away from home ‘I know, I know,’ was his quick answer ‘Mike told me about it. And now I have a plan

‘Huh?’ was all I could manage.
And with an excited voice he filled me in with the details.

I briefed my team ‘Are you sure it will work?’ asked Ann, a pretty saucer eyed researcher in my team who doubted every word I said.

We had yet to finish with the day’s compilation by noon. This forced us to quickly fold up and rush to the airport for our flight. A few hours later we were heading back to the office in hired vans, at 3:00 p m

Meanwhile, I placed a call to our receptionist and requested her to cab my lovely wife, Panda. I switched off my phone as the van made a dead stop at the front of the office building. While the rest carried our luggage into the office and others went straight to freshen up, I made a mad dash to the ball room to inspect.

Alas! A Kingly ambiance nod been given to the company ballroom  ; it oozed of richness and promised great romance. My mind suddenly reeled with optimism that it might be a smashing bash after all.

Now here we were, having a Valentine ball none of us had anticipated. As Panda and I shuffled with our drinks towards Mike and his wife, it occurred to me how so infectious can be a roof under which many couples openly display their affections towards each other as they interact.

I had much to learn as well especially from the older couples. They had mastered the art of gentleman’s finesse when it came to royal treatment. They smothered to their wives in the public domain. I quickly took mental notes of my own to that effect.

Mike and I had to endure a few more minutes of berating for allegedly cheating on our wives about the party surprise. How they both wished they could go back and change to better outfits, They thought they were looking so plain. We defended ourselves, insisting that the ’Surprise!’ was the tick.

With time, the men clustered in their own groups to talk football, politics and business.  The ladies found themselves comparing -family welfare, careers and beauty trends. During dinner, the waiters were requested to pull together the small tables for two into clusters of threes and fours. This was to accommodate couples who had forged amicable camaraderie. We were lost in pleasant conversations as we enjoyed a sumptuous banquette. Later on, our jolly and a bit inebriated CEO ushered everyone in for a dance. Though short, this arrangement had tremendously made up for what would have ended up like no Valentine’s at all.

‘What do you mean by ‘You are going hack to the office after the party, hon?” Panda demanded, her orange juice paused mid-air. Equally displeased was Mike’s wife glare at us.

Mike and I had to patiently explain to them our predicament regarding the UN/WFP project. We treacherously pointed Mr Young to our wives. They paid him with sharp disapproving gazes, though Mr Young did not notice.  He was deeply engrossed in chitchat and frenzied gestures with Ron and his wife. At some point, his drink almost spilled in violent waves as he dissolved in uncontrollable chuckle. His carefree attitude could charm a snake out of the pits. It could convince the world that this was the most ideal way any enlightened couple could spend a cherished Valentine’s day. We surely had his carefree lavish living to thank for this unexpected cupid arrangement

This is sick!’ the girls lamented ’Preposterous!’ They vowed to camp at Panda’s place until we showed up at whatever late night hour, to complete the date. ‘Fine with us, ladles. Be our guests,’ we agreed in unison as we kissed them good bye in the parking lot after the rejuvenating party.

When Panda called me a few minutes later to say they had opted to call the night vigil off, and sleep instead, I lauded their change of heart.  We surely worked until the next day, just past 10:00 a.m.

END:PG39/42-44