Sex boycott Shakes Marital Bliss
Mother’s day was a success. Not only did I reconcile myself with my in-laws, but I managed, to a large degree, to tickle my wife’s fancy. I loved watching her face glow as she animatedly talked about the events that took place all the time we were at our parents place. It seemed like an undownputtable experience to her, which seemed permanently etched in her brain. And I was glad I had done what I did.
A happy family is the epitome of my joy, and I was inclined to achieve that regardless of the cost. I had already reconciled to the fact that sex with my wife was a procrastinated indulgence until further notice. Extra marital bliss too, was an unimaginable taboo. I tried as much as possible to keep away from the Delilah of our time. Nevertheless, I never stopped wondering if at all there are men regaining their secondary virginity like I was. And miraculously, the answer did not take long coming. At my work place, I felt safe hanging out with my friend Mike, who was always there for me. He was the only other person I had told when I ran into my predicament with Marilyn.
At first he had harangued and gesticulated angrily at my waywardness, and at my refusal to heed his advice and keep away from giving her a lift home. Then on seeing my remorsefulness, he quickly changed sides and tried to cheer me up again. He promised to do something about it. After three weeks, Marilyn was transferred to the logistics department and away from my sight. I stumbled on the news on the way to my desk from the various gossips that were making rounds in the office prior to settling down. It was quiet a relief indeed, for it was becoming unbearable sharing air in the same room with my tempter.
It was so uncomfortable bumping into her in the corridors and encountering that tension filled with so much loathing and bad blood. I literally could not hide my joy at the news. I had to find Mike quick and thank him for his beneficent intervention. I crossed the vast open planned space to Mike’s office; a medium sized cubicle located two doors away from the managing director’s office. I burst in with glee. ‘Yo Mike!’ I shouted, almost crushing into the tea girl on her way out. ‘Thanks so much pal; you really bailed me out big time handling Lynn’ I said, pumping his hand profusely.
‘No sweat Lee, that’s what brothers are there for.’ He replied in a sort of nonchalant attitude, akin to a head teacher addressing a repugnant naughty urchin. I tried to read his mood and could see none of his normally good enthusiasm in it. I know every employee suffers from Monday blues, but Mike’s was a bit different today. He looked tensed and even his special friendly smile had gone away.
‘Hey buddy, what’s cooking?’ I inquired apprehensively. ‘You seem to have lost your mojo. Had a good weekend?’ He took in a deep breath and exhaled noisily. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then changed his mind. He sure was in a foul mood. I knew what to do in such situations. I took a seat in front of his desk and waited patiently. ‘You see buddy .. .’ He suddenly exploded. ‘This women thing!’ He gestured towards a bunch of newspapers that lay on his desk. I quickly’ scanned the headings I could see. Apart from the sports page, which depicted a surly Arsenal fan that was emiserating at their loss to Manchester United in the home match, all the other pages were littered with the usual political bickering.
‘What women?’ Now I wanted to know. ‘Don’t be so blind and asleep kid,’ he said as his hands shuffled through the sheaf of papers and fished out a page. He proceeded to wave the front page on my face menacingly. Then it hit me. ‘Oh my God; don’t tell me Stacy is in all this mess?’ I asked, shocked.
The seven days national wide women sex boycott was the most recent hot topic to hit the tabloids. Apparently, a group of women had chosen to refrain from any form of conjugal practices as a way of showing their chagrin towards bad governance. They had rallied their counterparts across the nation to support their course, and seemingly, Mike’s wife had been sucked in, for she was a die-hard crusader of the women rights and their affiliated organs. As a matter of fact, the strike had received more than its fare share of publicity and support leaving men a berating lot. The strike was on its third day.
‘Three days man … Three days now, and my girl has vowed to go all the seven yards!’ He moaned, almost chocking on his words. It felt like he would surely die before the one week was out. ‘What am I going to do now? This surely is a cursed generation,’ he lamented. I had never seen Mike transform into a boy until today. I stood up from my desk and walked to where he was. ‘We are in this together man; believe me.’ I confessed in a hush tone. ‘What do you mean we are in this together? Is Panda part of this rogue movement as well?’ I told him how Panda and I were not engaging in sex because of her pregnant state. I also linked it up to my incident with Marylyn. I saw his face light with a glimmer of understanding. ‘So we are one lot’ of starved up duo you mean?’ He asked, a hint of a smile playing on his moustache.
‘Exactly, though yours is not that bad. You can turn stuff around.’ ‘Hell never! She is deep in it, man. It’s like she is in some sort of sacred vow of celibacy and she is not turning back. If she would, I bet you wouldn’t be standing right here giving me some false hope.’ He said and went back to his sulking. I offered to speak to Stacy and see if she could change her mind. Stacy was like my elder sister, and we had grown up together. We had maintained our friendship which was cemented upon her marriage to my friend Mike.
‘You sure want to give it a shot?” He posed, unbelief written all over his face. ‘Sure man, let me try.’ And with that, I left for my office. We leave Mike’s car and walk towards his house. The compound seems quiet and deserted. There is no sign of light in the house despite the fact that it is 8 o’clock in the evening. We chose to come late to avoid not finding her at home. Sometimes Stacy can work until very late. ‘She sure is in one of those women meetings,’ Mike gave a wild guess.
We walked into the foyer and I waited a few paces behind as he knocked at the door. Closely, I could see a faint source of light filter through the edge of the curtains, most likely from a candle. But before I could take in more, the sound of feet shuffling in His house made me take a few steps behind. I wanted my arrival to sound like an element of surprise to her.
A key turns on the lock and the door is yanked open. Mike steps in first and what happens makes me freeze on my tracks. Stacy, in the finest of evening wear practically charges towards Mike and embraces him passionately, as if they have not met for years. Mike is sort of dazed, and his attempts to speak are drowned by a flood of kisses. The romantic hullabaloo that ensues goes on for ages, until I feel awkward. ‘Honey,’ says Stacy after an eternity, ‘I want to confess that the sex boycott had nothing to do with bad governance. In fact, not bad governance or anything else will ever, ever make me do that to you. But I thought I should just find out who I can be to you, when sex and face are all gone.’
‘And?’ I heard Mike ask faintly, apprehensively. ‘And you are the best man this world has ever produced. The finest husband, a loving man, a true friend and this is on behalf of our children, the best father. Can I say Happy Father’s Day?’ And with that, the kissing continued. I silently crept out of their yard unseen, like a thief in the night. I doubt though, if the two would have even heard an army tank shelling rockets in their yard. I could not have dared interrupt their bliss. Things had somehow fixed themselves and my intervention was suddenly useless, like a crutch whose owner had been miraculously healed. I knew for sure the dimness of the house denoted a surprise candle lit dinner and something much more fulfilling. Even Mike’s kids had been shooed away to bed early, Surely, the last person Stacy needed to see was me.
Panda baby … Here I come. I crossed the street and took a bus to the petrol station where I had packed my car. I had actually forgotten about Father’s day and was not expecting much. But I was glad that Mike had gotten the” best out of it. His love had just been renewed.
END: PG 23 /47-48