Time for Love

What A Man Can Do

It would be thrilling for my labour pains to start on 13 February and then the baby comes on the 14th February. That would be the best Valentine’s gift that I have ever had. But that will not be the case since my EDD is on 3rd February.

Previously during Valentine if I was at work, I would hang out with my friends, have a few glasses of wine, toast, wish each other a happy Valentine’s Day and then go separate ways since everyone had plans for the evening. As friends we did not buy each other gifts, enjoying each other’s company was our gift.

After leaving my friends, I would go home to freshen up, look nice and then go for dinner with my partner. We would hang out till late at night.

That’s how I have always celebrated my St. Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s has always made me excited because I know I will get gifts and also give out a gift. My partner loves colognes, being dressed up and some chocolates. Therefore I have always ensured to buy him a bottle of cologne, a shirt and a packet of chocolate as my Valentine’s. He knows that I too love perfumes and chocolates and those are the things he buys me during Valentine’s.

Unlike in past years when I have spent St Valentine’s Day in outings with my partner, this time round I will be at home nursing my baby. I know my partner is not expecting anything from me this Valentine’s because he knows that my concentration will be on the baby, but I will still try and get him something. It will be something small because we will be in the house. I do not have any elaborate plans because the baby will still be very small. However, the baby will be my key Valentine’s gift to my partner.

I am also planning to prepare dinner for him and to dress up the baby in red because red is my favourite colour.

I am not worried about missing out on the parties that night because I will have my baby and my partner around.

Being pregnant can sometimes stand in the way of romance and spoil an otherwise light moment of intimacy. An expectant woman may suddenly break into tears for no reason or have nausea just when the best meals arrive on the dinner table. This might leave her partner at a loss on how to react to such a situation, yet he may have planned and intended to give her a big St Valentine’s Day treat.

However, a man who really loves his woman must not give up on her. He will not walk away because he feels inconvenienced or decide to go out with the ‘boys’ and leave her lonely at home. He will be the first to acknowledge that the baby she is carrying is a product of the love between the two of them.

To break the monotony of chocolate and flowers (assuming these will be in the pack anyway!), here are some ways in which a husband can brighten the day (and night!) by springing surprises of love on his pregnant wife:

Wrap a gift item and have it sent to her workplace. Buy clothes items that flatter her shape, include pieces of art that she prefers such as curios, jewellery or paintings. You can wrap one item or send her a package. Top it up with a flower or a romantic card that elaborates your feelings. Use endearing words that express your pride that you are soon going to be the father of her child. Such a gift will allow her to get the pleasure of being admired by her colleagues and raise her morale as a pregnant woman. Let the gift be severally wrapped so that it will take her a while before she can unwrap it all, after mounting her anxiety. The reward later will be memorable.

Pick her up from her workplace and take her to a serene place, preferably out of town if time and distance can allow. Do not let her get a hint of where the journey leads to, but at least let her know in the morning that there are plans for the evening, so that she does not have any other commitments.

While having your meals focus on her and not the food. Look her in the eyes and enjoy her beauty openly. Speak out your admiration for her. Keep the outing short and pleasant, taking into account her various needs as a pregnant woman.

Personally prepare a delicious dinner for her. Call her beforehand and request that no dinner should be made. Play a reversed role: let her rest and watch television, or just hang around you and chat, while you take over the kitchen chores. To add flavour to this surprise, learn a new recipe based on her favourite foods well before St Valentine’s Day. Buy all the ingredients as you come home from work, because purchasing these earlier will reveal your plans and weather down the surprise. Purchase an apron and have it imprinted with messages such as, ‘I am all for you’ or ‘Forever your companion’ then wear it as you serve the meal. Remember not to make a spicy meal or one that will result into heartburns. Keep it simple but sweet. Include a fruit for dessert that is known to have an aphrodisiac (stimulating) effect such as a banana or an apple. You can make a meal that she has a craving for during her pregnancy.

What you shouldn’t do
If eating at home, do not buy for yourself meals and drinks she cannot share with you, such as alcoholic beverages and spices. Excluding her from meals that you are taking may result into disharmony as you cannot talk the same ‘this tastes really nice’ language. Moreover, alcohol is best avoided in pregnancy and spices bring up heartburn. Do not tempt her with either of these or leave her with a longing for them.

If in her first trimester and experiencing morning sickness, serving her a heavy breakfast on her bedside may not be a wise idea. However, she may actually have the fun of it if a favourite fruit is included in a light breakfast.

Snide comments during your dinner date are a definite no-go zone. Commenting about how big she has become or deliberately walking apart from her, may suggest that she has lost her youth and beauty to pregnancy and make her feel ugly and unloved.

Do not attempt to discuss matters where a decision needs to be made, for instance the naming of your expected baby or whether delivery will be natural or by C-section. Keep your conversation within the confines of love and romance.

Do not dare compare her to any other woman or keep straying your eyes to other Valentine’s dinner tables. Do not make any comments whatsoever on what anyone else you see is wearing, whether you admire it or not. If you do not like what your wife is wearing and did not tell her before you left the house, or did not offer alternatives, keep it in your soul forever!

Do not prolong the evening no matter how pleasurable. Fatigue or worry of being late for work the next day, might upset your otherwise memorable evening. If she requests you go home, even if it is earlier than you had intended, please oblige. A pregnant woman’s preferences can change at any moment without warning!

Do not carryover arguments from previous days into Valentine’s Day. If you wake up to a tense morning, chances are that the rest of the day will be lousy. Sort out your problems the night before and ensure you are good friends before you sleep. Try as much as possible not to get home late on the eve of Valentine’s Day!

END: PG 11/16-17