Making a loving Hubby and Father-to-be
Being a parent is not easy. Neither is being a spouse. But both can be done with great results writes Larry Ndivo.
A man is in no doubt placed in an important position: to be the head of the home. It requires him to help and direct his family. There is no where that the duty of the man is well distinguished than in the service to his wife. A pregnant woman is concerned by a number of issues. She not only worries about her man. but is also concerned about the new life bulging within her. Often she may become disagreeable with the husband. The husband may not know how to love her, especially if before then she treating him with tenderness and lavishing him with affection. This new development shocks many men.
Nevertheless, it is possible for you to double up as a father and husband. During pregnancy, you obtain a golden opportunity to be a loving husband and to evolve into a loving father too. Do not allow yourself to become distraught or irritable with your wife. Be patient while handling all situations even when you know that your actions of love and affection are not being reciprocated. Your expectant wife is as confused and worried as you are. if not more. Her thoughts may largely be directed to her bodily changes at this period.
Criticism and a cold shoulder may characterise your wife’s behaviour. She may fault you in every possible way and match your gestures of kindness with grumpiness. It becomes a daunting task for you as you wrack your brains for ways to create a harmonious environment. Be sensitive to her needs, make her feel fulfilled. This will take away the emotional bruises you may be incurring. Avoid predicting her responses or reactions but dwell on staying ahead of her wants and desires. You will discover that you are always contented with your actions, despite her reactions.
Your expectant wife may look up to you for several things. One is acceptance. This may be because she may develop a feeling akin to lack of identity. She may imagine that she is unwanted and unaccepted. This may be as a result of pregnancy developments bringing about bodily changes that transform her image. Issues of weight gain and the need to dress differently from her usual tastes elicits negative thoughts that need to be met with lots of understanding. Acceptability is thus crucial.
The other need she may want from you is meaning. A pregnant wife is always in search of purpose and meaning which she has to discover in her pregnancy. Through support and guidance she will discover this meaning. Her profound needs will be met and her fears dissipated as you reach out to her and reassure her that the pregnancy is something for the two of you.
She may also seek value and worth as they are a priority for her. A woman deems it a matter of necessity to be valued and respected. When this happens, she discovers security—the secure feeling that she is unconditionally wanted, without having to change in order to gain recognition. The beautiful feeling that even in pregnancy with all its aspects, the man will stand by her side. Eventually, the woman’s feeling of worth improves and this makes its easier to cope with any difficult complications in pregnancy.
Eventually, love stands out as the most important need of any pregnant wife. When a woman is totally loved, she develops a sense of significance. She realises that she is part of a partnership that is eternal and not one dictated by human shortcomings or failings. The man finds out that the wife reaches out more to him both physically and emotionally. Connection for between them grows immensely and they build one another. They adequately prepare for the new life in their lives. As a result, the man also discovers that he has grown tremendously in not only becoming a better husband, but also in preparation as a father-to-be.
END: PG17/62