Know your status

Martin Okelo and his pregnant wife are HIV positive. Martin never seriously thought about the high prevalence rate of the disease. Now he regrets all those times he did not use protection and also the times when he could have gone for HIV testing but chose not to.

‘Time had not passed and our honeymoon was not over yet but the strong man I had married suddenly started falling sick.’
‘You cannot tell whether one is a carrier of the virus from just looking at their body’s appearance’

A son of fate
Young Martin Okelo was meant to be in the 1994 ill-fated Mtongwe ferry that capsized in the Indian Ocean. Instead, his mother told him to return home which he did. albeit with a heavy heart. He did not know that soon he would be the only living member of his family. For his parents and four siblings died in the menacing waters. The fact that he was orphaned did not register in his mind immediately. But it marked a sad turning point in his life. Then he was 13. ‘I was a lost kid in a cruel world,’ he says, a forlorn look on his face. I wanted to die too but there were bits of resilience left in me. I had a talent in painting and decided to become a street painter. I was spotted by a passer-by-turned sponsor who saw me through high school and who also got me a place at the Kenya Polytechnic to pursue a course in graphics. My happiness was short lived though, for my benefactor passed away before I could learn much. I was back to the streets. I got a small house in Korogocho (an informal settlement in Nairobi).

The devil’s workshop
‘An idle mind is a very dangerous weapon. It was not long before I met a young, nubile girl and thought that instead of spending my long, lonely days alone. I could have some company. She too was willing. Soon enough our relationship took to another level—we became sexually involved. I trusted her and I never thought I needed to use any form of protection. After a short time with my beauty, my sixth sense told me that things were not as they should be.
I noted that the girl loved alcohol and men. I decided to let her go. It was expected that sooner than later we were bound to meet new people in our lives. I met another girl almost immediately. She was my neighbour. It did not take me long to see that there was chemistry between us. I did not hesitate in wooing her and we were soon living as man and wife. She had a child from a previous relationship: I was more than eager to have one of my own. I did not think about taking an HIV test. This was in 2007.’

The journey to nothingness: Hellen Bukuta, Martin’s wife speaks…
‘Time had not passed and our honeymoon was not over yet. But the strong man I had married suddenly started falling sick. He was constantly sick and vomited. He had diarrhoea and complained of headaches. Had I believed in occult. I would have concluded that he had been bewitched.
In a period of three months, Martin had become a shell of his former self. For a 35 year old man to weigh about 20kgs was shocking. He was always ill. One time he had typhoid, the other he had malaria. His weight was going down. The medicine he was using was too strong and in turn not helping. Friends told him to go to hospital but he refused.’

Martin continues…
Though I was bedridden. I believed that whatever was ailing me would eventually go. It took the prodding of an elderly lady whom I respected to convince me to go for an HIV test. My wife accompanied me and she too decided to take the test. It never crossed my mind that I could be HIV positive. The same did not occur to Hellen. When we learnt of our status I felt terrible about the whole situation. I was the carrier. I had infected my wife. She must have seen me as the devil incarnate.’

Her reaction
‘I did not hate him for it. I have come to accept the situation as it is. The nurses at the centre where we get our medicine have assured me that my baby does not have to be infected too. This gives me hope to keep living. I have already started attending ante-natal clinic.’

Martin concludes
‘Currently. I work as a volunteer with Kenya Network of Women with AIDS (KENWA), Korogocho. I attend seminars to talk to people about HIV/AIDS and why there is need to protect ourselves from the killer disease. I love associating myself with HIV positive people so as to encourage them about adopting a positive attitude towards life.
I have started a small group called KaKoNgo (Kariobangi Korogocho and Ngomongo) whose sole purpose is to create more awareness on the same.

I affirm to both young and old that HIV/AIDS is real. You cannot tell whether one is a carrier of the virus from just looking at their body’s appearance. A well built man with a six pack can hide so many faults from the eye. Know your status, it never kills. When you are aware you will know how to care for yourself. Today I keep myself busy so as to prevent my mind from becoming a destructive weapon.’

END: PG18/29-30