In search of a brighter day

I gather enough courage and face my challenge. Unsure of my way forward, I resort to give in to mounting pressure. I must redirect my steps in the face of contention, this being Bela’s third month of pregnancy.

I am at the factory trying to work hard. A slight jolt unexpectedly props up. Following the previous inspection, I receive an inter-office memo addressed to me. It may be that I feel the effect of luck, or even the reward of effort tirelessly put in, I tell myself as I read through the letter. I am glad that I receive a master for the task swoop which comes with a fifty per cent salary increment.

In the evening I am at home with my letter in hand. There is surely some friction ahead of me. I entertain myself to a drink in the house. As I sit perusing my mind, my plans seem underway. I am obliged to do this, I convince myself. I pick up my phone to call Bela and let her know of the joy wielding occurrence.

Following the encounter with my beloved’s family, I feel that I am bound to cooperate with her. I suddenly find myself quite uncomfortable and feeling deject. The events unfolding in front of my eyes overpower me. Deep in thought, I retreat in fearful silence.

I first of all have to dig into my pocket to balance off any debts I owe my friends. I clearly see the week ahead of me as a grim one. I must yet again do with a tight schedule. I gather up enough strength and do some washing.

A knock on my door sets me wondering. I do not expect any visitor. I open the door to a close friend who happens to understand my situation. We chat for a while and it elates me as he whispers some encouraging words to me. I grasp the sense that surely, I must fasten myself and utilise the little strength left in me for my gain.

A week later, Bela attends clinic in accordance with her notice. I am on the move; by now it has become a trend and I feel the long hours of work as less strenuous on me. I earnestly pray that we shall all see a bright day. I am shaken that my life is almost at a fix, to the point of almost denying me a free mind.

I come to hear of it. The doctor is asking for Bela’s consent to take a Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) test. She decides to take it. She insists on my compliance on the same, revealing her demands that I accompany her at the earliest opportunity, and if possible, on the material day. She notes that the doctor seconds the idea. I promise her a later date due to my busy schedule. I do not see the need of rejecting the call.

At the factory, the efforts by the staff members have been taken into account and there is tension in the air. ‘Some will surely have to go: I learn from a colleague who is visibly shaken. My confidence is drifting and I am completely unsure that my plot will take off as smoothly as I expect. I decide to let nature take it’s course.

A convincing bet follows through two days later and I obtain permission from my in-charge enabling me to accompany Bela to the clinic for the blood tests. At the clinic, the doctor takes us through a brief counselling session that sees all of us ready to accept the outcome of the tests. ‘This is a bold step for both of you: I come to understand.

Similarly encouraging words from the woman of experience sitting in front of us let me gain some courage. Nevertheless. my stomach is chilly. My hand tightly grips Bela’s soft palm. A shiver develops in my heart. It is not a time consuming exercise. We soon learn that the results are out. As we expect, we are both HIV negative. At the announcement, Bela’s face is beaming with joy. Tears are almost rolling down her cheeks. We undergo another counseling session. The doctor emphasizes the need of maintaining faithfulness. As I leave the room with my arm in Bela’s, I feel my inner energy in comparison to the time prior to the tests.

On our way home, we pass by a small café and decide to pop in. Bela excitedly whispers to me that she is happy with the outcome of the tests. We settle for a small fruit cocktail which is a slight relief on my part owing to my tight budget. She tells me that her parents will be happy to learn that I am there for the tests and that they propose to meet mine. It is in view of some form of settlement regarding what is between us. She urges me not to deny them the chance. I listen hopefully and give in without the slightest hesitation. I am at ease with it. We pay the bill and briskly walk out of the room, taking care to do it just right. Bela is happy as we part ways.

We agree that our parents should meet. I quickly undertake the necessary preparations to have my parents travel to town over the weekend. All goes well. It is a small gathering without the usual merrymaking that constitutes such occasions. It surprises me that our parents are happy to know each other. Bela is almost through with her schooling. Her parents show a positive response and believe that we are going to settle down together. The get-together acquaints us with some of the customary rules governing the union of a man and his wife. I inwardly admit that I am responsible for the situation we are facing. Focusing my mind to the events of the day, I feel that change is inevitable. The activities around me however force me to remain calm.

I coax her to get to understand that I am sorry for my previous behaviour. I attempt to drive the point home. Her looks and eyes affirm her thoughts ‘Though you fall, you must watch your cords or lose them.’ She tells me. I pledge to myself not to indulge in any more hotchpotch over our relationship.

Bela makes it clear to me that she wants us to shift houses to a more relaxing environment. This definitely confirms my fears that the small increment will be of little effect on our situation. She tells me that my ‘close’ friends do threaten our well being, a fact that I find difficult to accept. As she keeps talking, I am slowly getting into the picture. I figure out that I am a soon-to-be-father, meaning more responsibilities to head. I get her point.

At least I spend some time with Bela who is now cheering up with regard to her situation. She is eager to know how I manage to wade through the storm. I tell her of how I have to do with stressful overtime hours at the factory, sometimes with a little help from some trust worthy sources. I also let her know that my salary increment is in itself a solace to me. I can easily tell that she is moved by this information. By the end of the day as we part ways, I divide my mind between my love and work life.

Over the week, my life revolves around the house and the workplace. There are threats looming in the air. The task  swoop comes with an effect of site postings. Suddenly, we are all subject to a period of conjuncture as none of us knows of the outcome. The posting letters finally circulate among the staff. I fail to get one meaning that the axe spares me. I ease my mind knowing that I can effect Bela’s plea of shifting to avoid any more heartaches between the two of us.

The month is quickly elapsing. I am already undoubtedly aware of the fact that next month is going to be a tough one, given the past happenings. My kitty is wanting. I gather enough courage and fill the advance sheet. I find my way balancing off whatever I owe my friends and I immediately embark setting straight my plans for the coming month. I badly want to contain my status within me. This also bothers Bela.

I carefully undertake a soul searching process, finally giving in to mounting pressure. I move into a more spacious house. Bela is happy about the move. She visits me and I notice it. She expresses her joy at the bold step. Surprisingly, I note that my monthly income still allows me some free space regardless of the move. She informs me that I should start reading some literature on parenting issues. I am happy that she is jovial and can afford to share a hearty afternoon with me.

END: PG 26 /45-46