Friendships have expiry dates-because time flies
I was at a cyber cafe in Westlands trying to print a document when I looked up and saw an old friend. My first thought was, he looks busy… do not interrupt him. However, my heart over-ruled the thought and I called out to him. We talked for over an hour about our past experiences, our dreams, hopes, faith, failures, disappointments, and the lessons we had picked along life’s path in the years we had not seen each other. We crowned our sizzling conversation with the exchange of phone numbers as a sign of our renewed motivation for our friendship.
One and a half months later, I listened in disbelief as a mutual friend said to me that my friend did not make it after a fatal road accident.
After the shock and sadness, I have become more conscious of old friends and acquaintances. These are people who have been a part of my life in one way or the other, grew up in the same neighborhood, reported to form one on the same day and struck a friendship, shared a university room for four years, the first person who served me with a hot cup of tea on my first day at work, the friend who often listened to all my heartbreak stories, the set of girlfriends with whom I crossed the hippo infested Lake Barinqo (our boat stalled in the lake and I panicked since my parents had no idea where I was), the bunch of childhood friends with whom I always celebrated events, the teacher who graciously counseled me—the list could go on. I believe each one of us has been undeniably shaped by significant friendships, acquaintances and relationships.
While I understand the ’busyness’ of today’s lifestyle, technology has made it easier There are cell phones, email, or social networks such as Facebook and Twitter. Aside from these though, we should actually meet up our old friends. How many of us call up the people in our phone books to find out how they are doing? It always stops at the promise ‘I will call you’ along some busy street and when we get home, we choose to forget our word, or we delete the number for some more important business connections.
As a mother-to-be, I know you have many things on your mind and catching up with some old friend or acquaintance seems like a white elephant. Imagine yourself at 80, your unborn baby all grown up with his own family living in a foreign country and all you get from him is an occasional phone call or email (that is if you can still hear or read). You may be a lonely person without the company of old friends and acquaintances just to remind you of the good old times, if not for anything else. Would it not be fun to laugh at those pictures you took in high school, the crushes you had on teacher so-and-so, or the time at college when your current partner was relentlessly pursuing you and leaving love-notes under your door? There is something special about old friends and acquaintances; they know us, and understand where we have come from.
You can either visit them at home or go out and have some fun together. Most importantly, catch up and motivate each other towards your dreams and your life goals. You will be surprised at how much you may have forgotten about what you always dreamt about in the past! This one meeting may be the defining moment for you and your pals as you retrace your steps through the life’s journey. It may just be the last time you spend time together considering the high mobility in today’s society.
I may be here with you now and tomorrow I may be in any part of the world, or like my young friend, moved on to the next world. Don’t be too held up in your pregnancy. Call an old friend.
The writer is a psychological counselor and mentor
END:PG30/12