First Word 16

Hi!

The other day as I sat with a friend chatting away. I realized how our lives and perspectives as women change due to pregnancy. Once you conceive, it is as though a new self is born within you. You either find or lose your identity—at best momentarily.

In my case, I started off my marriage hoping to laze about and enjoy my first two or so years without a baby. But. alas. I forgot rule number one: if you do not want a baby immediately you get married, you take the necessary measures. I trusted naturalists, hence I ended up with the natural—baby number one! My hubby, though, did not seem to mind it.

Life was suddenly flashing by in my new role as a wife—and now as a mother too. I had planned to finish a course I had just enrolled for before getting married, but the task was completely uphill! I still wonder how I managed to get some certificates while tasked with my big tummy.

Meanwhile, everything about me was changing. From my feelings about people and life, to my attidude about certain issues. My body was changing so fast that I sometimes felt that I was in the same position as my baby—I was being re-born.

Many thoughts filled my mind: ‘Am I too young to have done this? If I do not finish my course what will become of me? Will I be able to pursue my dreams, now that I am married, or will I simply follow my hubby’s path? Or will I end up engrossed with our babies, following their dreams while mine stopped?’

My situation got more unreal when barely a year after my first baby, I got a second: it seemed I had not learned my lesson! It would be another few years of no college, new changes, fast life. Had I lost my identity?

In this issue we bring you Lucy Simiyu’s feature on ‘Finding your identity during pregnancy’, as well as Wambui Otieno Mbugua’s story. ‘I am a woman in all respects.’ Hopefully these features, and many others to come in our new ‘Upper Room’ and ‘Been There’ columns, will help new mums in their quest to re-focus and keep their identity intact. Also, look out for ‘In the dock’, a new column that enlightens parents on legal matters.

God’s Luv

END:PG16/03