Babies from RAPE

Taking the first steps

Rape is one of the cruelest acts a man can exert on a woman. In Nairobi, rapists have come to be known as ‘human beasts.’ Even in its most modest form, rape is severely traumatizing. Adding a baby to the incident is not only harrowing but also very challenging. What exactly is one supposed to do with a rape baby? Whose responsibility is it? Does a rape baby deserve to live? What are the rights of a rape baby? Are those rights vested in the feelings and the mercy of the rape victim? Is a rape baby also a victim? How about the rape victim? Should she really carry a rape baby to term? The questions are endless and the answers are equally varied.

RAPE is RAPE

It is fruitless to argue which type of rape incident is more devastating, as the impact of rape is very personal and in most cases, the trauma is deeply silent. The level of suffering depends on many factors including the circumstances of the rape, for example, whether violence was also meted out, and the emotional state of the rape victim.

Baby by a stranger

A baby conceived out of such an incident will most likely never know who the father was but if the rapist is hunted down and arrested, his identity would be known. Even then, it is unlikely that the rape victim would ever want to establish any form of contact or relationship with him.

Baby by a familiar person

A baby might be born out of rape by a neighbor, classmate, or a familiar but unacquainted person. In this case, the mother has full knowledge of the identity of the baby’s father but may have had no intimate relationship with him.
The rapist may also be a person known to the victim but with whom the victim has no intimate relationship, usually as a casual friend or an acquaintance. He may also be a workmate with whom the victim converses both formally and informally.

Baby by a relative

The rapist may be a distant or close relative. There have also been cases of fathers raping their children. A baby born out of this type of rape is considered a curse in most communities, aside from being the product of an ungodly act.

Baby from date rape

In this case, the rapist has an intimate relationship with the victim. Such an encounter is a complicated case because the victim might get mixed up in her emotional disposition toward the rapist. Though uncommon, there have been cases where a lover-rapist survives the victim’s reproach and stays on to become the victim’s husband.

Baby from gang rape

Sexual assault by a group of men is inexpressibly tormenting. The victim is assaulted repeatedly, each time by a different rapist. Such rapists are a threat not only to the victim but also to themselves as they can easily have a chain infection of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. It is not possible to identify the father of a baby conceived out of gang rape unless DNA tests are conducted. A rape victim may not be interested in finding out which one of the rapists fathered the baby.

Rape baby for adoption

If a baby is conceived from a rape, the mother has to decide between either raising or giving up the baby for care by a friend, relative, children’s home, or sometimes for outright adoption. Most critical in this decision are the physical, psychological, spiritual, social, and economic considerations. It is also important to bear in mind that all these considerations ride on the backdrop of a militant incident, itself a complex matter with its own adverse effects.

Baby’s right to live.

The child is an innocent victim of circumstances and thus rightly deserves to live. If you decide to give your baby up for adoption, your conscience has to be clear on the decision you are making. Seek the advice of a counselor conversant with crisis pregnancies before you make the final decision.

Guilt. 

Once you have given up your baby for care/adoption, a guilty conscience may develop. This can be avoided or eased by speaking freely, about your action, to someone you respect and whose opinion you would regard as trustworthy for example a pastor or an elderly family friend.

A rape victim will find herself seriously discriminated against by the very society responsible for bringing up the rapist

Relationship With Baby’s Father. This is especially relevant where the rapist is your lover. Are you sure about your feelings for him after he has raped you? Under what circumstances did the rape occur? Whereas rape must never be condoned, it is true that rape situations involving lovers can be complicated.

Wishes of the rape victim

Whatever the solution eventually reached, it must always be borne in mind that there are two victims involved; the baby and the mother. The first sympathies usually and rightly so, lie with the mother as the primary rape victim. It is therefore important to understand the beliefs and wishes of the mother. The mother should be counseled to clearly understand the implications of her decision.

Get professional medical care 

Today, contracting HIV and conceiving a rape baby are the two worst nightmares for any rape victim. It is highly advisable to immediately seek medical help following a rape incident. Early medical intervention could arrest sexually transmitted diseases and prevent HIV infection through the administration of drugs. This should all be in the first 72 hours of the rape incident.

END: PG 1/20-22