My footprints betray me

Seeing that my actions overwhelm me, I put a fleece. Anxiety grips me as I come to terms
with reality. I must own up, I confess.

I am straining to make ends meet. On the other hand, Bela’s parents do not want to hold on before I turn up. I am now a culprit although my mind wants to escape it. My fugitive status is headed for a downfall. I know pretty well that my responsibilities on the other side are mounting. I still have to address them. I compromise and ask a friend’s hand out. Finally; I send Bela some money.

Her parents take her in completely. She lets me know that she will be swapping colleges to school nearer her home, which is in a different town altogether. The idea that she will not be coming home to me daily bugs me. considering her condition. It is of no consolation for me to learn that there is not enough help for her at home, and that she will have to struggle with the housework. Although she is back at school my load is heavy on me. Anything might happen.

Her parents are hot on my trail, they want to know when I the man of the house, will embark on finalising our union through an official ceremony. They let me in on the fact that they would like to know more about me. They also want to formally meet my parents.

I end up pressurised and I give in to a friend’s invitation to the pub after work seeing that plans to arrange for our parents meeting are quite above me at the moment. I maintain my silence on the matter in a shiver. I hope to keep the cat in the cage.

Bela follows the quest up with phone calls to me insisting that I give in to her parent’s demands. Incidentally, there is an inspection at the factory. All seems tight and I cannot manage to secure some time off to visit Bela’s home. It forces me to postpone my plan. Bela’s in-streaming calls soon get onto me. I cannot keep lying on my trip to their place. In reaction, my phone is soon Out of reach. My head cannot take it as the managers at the factory are strict on their orders. Bea’s case cannot wait either. I am perfectly aware that it will soon fire back at me.

I manage to keep off the ‘controversy’ for a while. It then hits at me as though a tantrum of a great magnitude. Five days later, I am at wore popping from office to office going about my work. The secretary is after me informing me that someone is at my bay. I walk to the waiting room. I wonder who is visiting me at work. To my utter surprise, the person overtly resembles Bela. Owing to the fact. I wittily offer to have the conversation out of the office. True to my resolve, it turns out that Bela’s brother has word for me. she is due for the prenatal tests and she has also sent a letter to me. I quickly read it. It quotes among other things the sum total for the tests which I blindfold myself and hand him to kill any brooding bee at the factory.

In the evening. I am too unhappy to entertain any guest. I head straight home and quickly reread the letter with a keen interest to understand it. According to her words. Bela’s parents can only meet her educational needs. She notifies me of the doctor’s advice that she needs to attend regular exercises as prescribed by the doctor. My mind is suddenly racing: I cannot spot a quick avenue to fix my plight. I finally have to bear the brunt and ask a friend’s hand out. This must take effect on my slip at the end of the month in attempt to balance it off. I have to sweat it out at the factory again at least in a two time night shift crew, regardless of my day time duties.

As I speak to Bela over the phone, she is quite disappointed at my show. She tells me that the delay is posing a threat to our union. I sink in thought, ashamed to answer back. I confess that I am quite held up at the factory. The explanation of an inspection at work is unacceptable to her. She is on my neck with accusations of negligence and arrogance. She insists that her parents are not going to take it lightly. We part with a promise that I will keep within reach. I finally use the mobile banking technology to remit some necessary dues. It seems I cannot keep eluding the visit any longer. I am afraid.

The following day soon after work. I am concerned considering the fight that Bela has put up. She rings me and I cannot afford to ignore the call. I am fast to note that her tone is evidently sharper than usual. She sounds painful. She tells me that matters are not going to get any better for me with the trip to their place not delivering. Our relationship is more than never before at (he verge of breaking up. It then hits at me as a bitter taste in the mouth: I must now face the true reality. I love her and I cannot risk losing her. ‘It is true. I must face them.’ I realise.

At the same time, the lot at the factory is non-reluctant and keeps in pursuit of our performance record. Owing to my recent past. I contend with a promise to Bela that I will visit the following weekend echoed by a warning from her that my actions are gaining dangerous ground.

Time is moving and the date due for my visit is almost here. I am unable to face my love. I cannot tell her off since my own being is completely threatened by now. The issue at hand makes me feel indebted as well as ashamed. I finally collect my mind and give her a call. I try telling her that I have been assigned duties at the factory. She reveals a bombardment of queries that let me know that ail is not well between the two of us. Her parents are threatening to stop paying her school fees and went to let me have a go at it. In addition to it. they are going to get her at my place and have me cater for all her needs under strict supervision. She is badly in need of money. I squeeze my pocket and let go off it. I know perfectly well that I have to walk to work for the following week. I promise her a date knowing that the factory ‘menace’ will have relaxed giving me a ray of hope.

She follows through the following evening with another call. Apparently, her parents are mad at me. This time I convince myself that playing ‘smart’ is not going to be of help to me. As it is. they occasionally fit in meeting her needs, forcing them to read treachery in my footsteps.

They ore now insisting on meeting my parents. The issue of a formal ceremony to unite us has cropped up again. She is now finding it difficult to keep arbitrating for me. She lets me know that should my date fail to deliver, the worst could happen. She is almost in tears. A lump swells in my throat; I agree that I must weave something.

During the week. I put in as much overtime as possible in the evenings hoping to get enough overtime to allow me an off over the weekend. I keep distant from all my friends and good enough: none of them turns up at my door, not even the notable regular visitor. It keeps me ticking. I am puzzled at how fast things can evolve when they mean to. My head cannot still afford me any rest. I manage to secure myself a partial advance pay slip ahead of my planned trip.

On Friday evening as I prepare myself a small evening meal. I am thinking of what lays ahead of me. The following day. ‘I must head to Bela’s home.’ I caution myself. I then settle down to my meal hoping that my small sized pocket will be of solace to me.

Mid Saturday morning; I am at Bela’s home. Welcomed by a warm cup of tea. I am surprised to learn that she is quite happy, more so to see me. Judging by her facial appearance. I can tell that she is not at ease. Her second month of pregnancy is almost elapsing and her family is not amused.

A series of family versus in-law battles ensues. I have to do with a quarrelsome session with my relatives who I hope to meet on friendlier terms. I follow through, ashamed more than I can bear: occasionally dropping the most relevant of answers, keenly eyeing a polite presentation. We then arrive at consensus that I pull up my socks and look at the present issue more critically.

As she escorts me from her place. I shamefully squeeze some notes into her hand. She warns me against a repeat of my recent behaviour. She tells me to guard against a brooding disaster. As we part our ways: tears well in my eyes.

END: PG25/45-46