He holds the key

Loise embarked on a life-changing tour when she met David Wachira. Together they began a transformational journey. Along the way three children joined them:, Njoki, Muthoni and Peninah.

Loise was expectant with her first child in 1981, and like all first-time mothers, she was happy and excited. She and David made all the preparations necessary for the safety and comfort of their new-born.Loise ate healthily, took care of herself and followed the doctor’s advice to the letter. In spite of all this, things took a wrong turn when Loise had a still birth. Like most of us who go through difficult times, Loise asked God why it had to be her after she had a normal pregnancy, with no complications.

It was this inspiring message that gave her the confidence to press on: ‘God is the one who gives; whatever you get comes from God.’ It was then that she resolved not to plan and anticipate for things which she has no control over. She decided to leave everything to God.

Her second pregnancy happened two years later; and though she had not forgotten what had transpired, she did not let her fears and doubts get the best of her. She simply did her best to take care of herself and her unborn baby and let God do the rest. She did deliver a healthy baby bearing in mind that all her subsequent pregnancies were normal. She recalled craving cooked bananas with chicken and apples. All through, her husband gave her moral support and occasionally surprised her by bringing snacks to her office.

Baby abandoned by house help
The most memorable challenge on child bearing and upbringing for Loise was house helps.One morning she left for work, leaving everything as it should have been. There was not the slightest inkling of mischief in her house. However, things did not stay that way for long, as later in the day, Loise left work and literally fled home. She felt that something was somewhat amiss, and though she could not explain it, she trusted her instincts and went to check on her second born baby. Upon reaching the gate, the watchman was the first to confirm that she was right to feel anxious. He asked her whether she had told the house help to leave the house with all her belongings and to take the baby with her. Loise said it was not so only to have the watchman tell her that her house help had packed both her and the baby’s belongings and would have left. It is then that Loise stopped her before it was too late.

The other one happened with her last born baby, Peninah. Just like with the first incident, she felt that her gut feelings told her that things were not quite right. Now worried, she left work abruptly in the afternoon and rushed home to check on her baby. Upon reaching her residence, her fears were now a reality. She found the house empty, with the house help having packed all her clothes and missing-without even a good-bye note! She had poured thick porridge on her baby’s face, parts of her body and her clothes. The baby had been left all alone since morning, and had been crying for that long. She stayed over, comforting her baby, and it was from then on that she found life as a working mother difficult to handle.

Then and now
She notes that indeed there is a difference between pregnancy in her days and what she sees today. She muses about the many women waiting for men to take care of them even when they are well able. She says in her time, women were viewed as a pillar, and were expected to take care of themselves, those around them and their unborn child. The husband would only come in terms of provision, and this was after the baby was born. ‘Women are now looked upon as tender. Both spouses have to take care of the pregnancy.’ she smiles with amazement.

On the other hand, she is stunned by the evolution of maternity fashion. She marvels and notes that women wear beautiful clothing, which can be used even after child birth. In comparison, in her days, one had to make or buy maternity dresses which could not be worn after pregnancy..

As they grow they bring challenges
Her motivation has been watching them learn something new by the day.Challenges however have not been left out. Loise admits that parenting was much easier when the kids were below 15. Then the kid danced to the tune of her words-and parenting was somewhat blissful. Not during teenage, when their characters spouted boldly and strongly. She was surprised when they came up with the notion that they knew their rights, which made correcting them a tricky affair, when they made those occasional mistakes. Well, it got worse, Loise recollects. There must be something about parents wanting to keep their children under their wings. And when they wriggle off, Loise says, ‘you learn to allow God to be their cover and guide, because he holds the key.’

She says that the interesting bit is that parenting has made her much stronger. Problem solving moments have incidentally become great times in her household. There is a special beauty about everyone sharing their opinion.

A special line that runs with her family is, ‘Accept your weaknesses and embrace your strengths’ and nothing will be impossible. You learn to allow God to be their cover and guide, because he holds the key

Special Word
For the woman trailing in her footsteps of motherhood, her special word is, ‘Take note of the areas that bring problems in a family. These are finances, work. decorum, responsibilities and investment plans. Aim to agree and agree on these key issues. If you can’t, agree to peacefully disagree without losing the foundation of what your marriage is all about-love. So you both pursue your dreams in your own unique ways with the hope that your partner will eventually understand your vision.

END: PG 28 /12-14