First Word 26

When men are stressed, they tend to have either a ‘fight’ or a ‘flight’ response, unlike women who seem to approach situations with a ‘tend and befriend’ strategy-as coined by Psychologist Shelley E. Taylor. The reason for these different presentations to pressure is found in hormones. The hormone oxytocin is released during stress in everyone.

However, oestrogen (more in women) tends to enhance oxytocin, resulting in calming and nurturing feelings. In men, however, the testosterone hormone, which they produce in larger volumes during challenging times, reduces the effects of oxytocin. The result is less calm and more trouble!

This scientific view explains the delivery room reactions of the two gentlemen who have shared their experiences. Rev. Jesse Kamau recollects how matters evolved in “When I was Pregnant. .. “, while in the Diary of a Nurse we meet a young man and get to know how he coped in the face of ‘the defining moment’ .

Away from testosterone, another explanation of the reactions of men in the delivery room is that men tend to process information better in the left hemisphere of the brain; unlike the female species that tends to process equally well between the two hemispheres. This difference explains why men are generally stronger with left-brain activities and approach problem-solving from a task-oriented perspective.

Back to the first-hand casualties of the delivery room experience-women, their mental faculties make them sum up the experience differently. I have come across a number of ladies who confess that even after labouring for more than 48 hours, getting two big tears in the process and spending more than a month soaking their raw nerves in salty water; their appetite for another birth experience remains on the high.

Being in the delivery room, it seems, is a unique experience for the men in our lives- sometimes more frightening than birth pain, yet in other instances more fulfilling than many a day.

END: PG 26 /5