Schooling with your child

I was never a big fan of school in my days, it now seems. School came across as a punishment, exam time only compounded my hatred, let’s call it lack of enthusiasm, for school. I was sure my mother hated me—sending me to school and seeking to check on my progress. Now older and wiser, I realise the need for and appreciate her efforts.

It gradually dawned on me that it was all for a worthy course—to give me a better future. It has sunk in deep and I intend to do the same for my children when they come. I hope they are more appreciative than I was. I have a feeling I am not alone in this.

Aside from giving you an opportunity to know her strengths and weaknesses and helping where necessary, you will realise over time that the relationship between you and your child improves as you follow up on their school work and progress. Even though at times they may seem rebellious and unaccommodating to your approaches, deep inside your child’s heart is the desire to be properly guided, loved and nurtured. And what better way to guide her than to monitor her school progress and teach her or ask the teacher to do it where necessary.

It may seem a little tricky in this age of a thousand errands and traffic from hell make you get home late and tired that the time to check your child’s homework is simply unavailable. Here are tips that could come in handy in your quest to do this.

Clearly spell out your expectations

Just before the school term begins, tell your child what you expect from her. Having discovered your child’s strong areas, look at the school timetable and explain to her about classes that may be a challenge and those that might be relatively easy. As you do this, encourage her by telling her what the two of you could do to make the challenges great opportunities for doing well. For example, you could put in more time and effort on those challenging subjects.

Let your child also know the grades you think they are capable of obtaining so that they act as constant reminders during the term.

Be interested

Show interest in your child’s education by simply asking him how their day at school was, what they learnt, what games they played, just ask anything as long as it involves school. Doing this daily will make your child realise that it is expected of them to report back to you and hence they will fully prepare to tell you something. Do not be surprised if they tell you only what they have done well, it is human nature not to volunteer bad deeds.

Check his books

Ask to see your child’s school work regularly. You can even make it a daily routine. If your child thinks that you do not really care about her education and progress in it, chances are that she will not be bothered to go the extra mile with school work. Again, showing interest in her work will put her in the right frame of mind to impress you with excellent school participation and results will follow naturally. The child may not be number one in academics but she will definitely shine in her area of talent too.

Reassure your child

Show her some love, reassure her, tell her every now and then that you are proud of her and let it be expressed in your actions as well. Children love to be cherished and recognised. If she knows and believes that you are proud of her, she will do all she can to ensure it remains that way.

Check with your child’s teachers

Tell your child beforehand that you will be visiting the school to check her progress and that you will go together. Your child may use the advance notice to redeem herself and rebuild lost time in school so as to get good reports from the teachers. Talking to your child’s teachers will also give you a forum to discuss with them if the child is struggling or unchallenged.

Results

Avoid the temptations to peg your child’s performance to the grades. Experts advice that the focus should be more on learning and less on grades. Grades are important but do not make them the be-all-end-all of school. Work on ensuring your child balances her marks; that she performs well in other areas too. You also need to remember that apart from the grades and education, your child is growing her cognitive skills as well as several other talents she may have, so support her. The arts and sports are a common casualty of parents’ need to have their children do well in class, avoid that pitfall.

Exercise positive reinforcement

Here, you will need to stay positive for your child’s sake. When your child performs well in school, communicate that her with positive affirmation. You could tell her something like ‘I knew you would do well.’ However, if she drops in class or performs poorly, try to focus on the positive. Show her what she can do from to help her perform better next time.

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