The nanny-how you can influence her attitude
Your visits to the bureaus and the constant telephone calls to your relatives to help you get a house-help have come to an end because you have found a nanny you like. Both of you have ensured all job details have been put in place, an agreeable salary, a range of benefits, operational framework, work logistics and the likes. And the nanny is all set to begin work.
Survey after survey shows that people prefer to relate with a positive, upbeat person as a nanny. You and I are no exceptions, coupled with the fact that when the nanny comes, she literally takes over running your home and taking care of your children.
Your children can easily be affected or influenced in behavior by your nanny’s attitude and behaviour. A child may suffer from insomnia, asthma, bed wetting, nightmares and other sleep disorders because of their nanny’s reproach or a presence that exerts fear and breeds negativity.
As an employer, you will be more comfortable dealing with a nanny who enjoys what she is doing; one having a good time doing it and who genuinely cares about helping you around the home.
However, these attributes may not necessarily be inborn but rather require a bit of training and coaching.
To learn how to best teach your nanny to keep positive, just look at your own workplace. While self-examining yourself, you may ask yourself what you consider as a good boss. Are you, to your nanny, all those things you desire your supervisor at your place of work to be? What makes you loyal to your company? What does your employer do that upsets you?
You will be amazed at how co-related your nanny’s situation in the house is to yours at your workplace. Your answers to those questions may provide insights into what your nanny needs to feel secure and appreciated.
What makes you loyal to your company? What does your employer do that upsets you? You will be amazed at how co-related your nanny’s situation in the house is to yours at your workplace. Your answers to those questions may provide insights into what your nanny needs to feel secure and appreciated.
You may want to consider the following tips to teach nanny to keep positive.
The best teacher is a good example
Begin by examining your own behavior to see if you are walking the positive talk. Listen to your internal dialogue and reflect upon the things that you say to yourself inside your head and those that come out of your mouth. Check if you frame them in the positive or as soon as you speak, it is a ‘no’ or negative word that precedes all else. Sometimes we even use ‘yes’ and a ‘but’ follows immediately after. Remember, having a positive attitude means that you are able to focus on the good things in life. Attitude is so contagious and once your nanny is infected with your positive posture, she will be able to cope with her own life and that of each member of your family and in the long run reduce any destructive thinking. Martin Seligman, in his book Learned Optimist concurs. Seligman says optimistic people adapt easier to change, are more creative, have more fun and are healthier than their pessimistic counterparts.
Teach her the power of positive talk
We all make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes become lessons. Encourage your nanny not to beat themselves up because they forgot to store the food in the fridge, boil the milk or misplaced the baby’s bottle. Gently coach her on the best possible way of handling such situations. For instance, if it’s a misplaced item, help nanny develop a habit of placing it at a particular place every time they are done working with it. Talk them through being organized, this way, they will respond well to their self talk and gradually learn to replace negative thinking with positive. Communicate to her whether you have a complement or complaint, let it come out in a polite manner to make communication lines between the two of you open all the time. If she feels you are open to talking, she will more likely approach you with ideas and concerns.
Wake up early
Encourage your nanny to start her day early. This according to renowned author and motivational speaker, Robin Sharma, is the best way to help one maintain a positive attitude throughout the day. He explains that waking up early allows you to get a head start on the day. This would give your nanny a chance to handle her personal needs, plan for her day and in turn begin the day without rushing. You could also encourage her to spend the early morning time in prayer. By the way, you could do this with her so that you become her role model.
Make her understand that things may not always go as planned
This way, your nanny will have room for changes in schedules and activities for the day. She will also be flexible enough to embrace the change and avoid feeling disappointed about the diversion in plans. Be cautious though, so that she does not take advantage of this. Let her know that if they are issues that involve her being away, she should tell you in ample time so that you plan ahead.
Smile
Greet her with a smile every morning or every time you come back into the house after a while. Encourage them to smile back at you, the children, your spouse and the visitors. Studies have shown that when you smile, you activate the muscles in your face and the message is sent to the happy brain chemicals that help your feel good. Smiling, being contagious, will affect your nanny when you smile at her and she will feel good and work better.
Show appreciation
I am sure you feel nice when your employer tells you how important you are to the organization. Your nanny needs to feel the same and feel appreciated because she does a very important job for you. Tell her often how valuable she is to you and the job she is doing. Bring her a small gift of appreciation or give her a cash bonus during Christmas. The fact that she will focus on the appreciation you extend to her will help her maintain a positive attitude.
Avoid hiring a whinny nanny
Having a whinny for a nanny is doing yourself a disservice. A whinner will bring everyone down. And whinning is like an infection—it spreads. It is advisable to stop it at the source, which is at the hiring table; learn to spot charasteristics of whinners during the hiring interview and stay clear of them at all costs.
END: BL37/20-21