Respectfully yours – Teaching the virtue

Four-year old Janet went shopping with her mother for the first time. The mother was a bit uneasy, but nevertheless, hoped her daughter was not going to throw a terrible tantrum like she would do at home when she didn’t have her way. Once they got to the supermarket, Janet eyed a big teddy bear and true to her mother’s fears, she decided she had to have it, despite her mother’s objection. It was too expensive.

Things got out of hand and Janet started screaming at her mother, calling her names, which sparked off her temper. Janet’s mother shouted that she was going to beat her if she didn’t stop and Janet started crying. She was dragged back to the car and taken back home. Talk of a shopping trip that never was:

The above scenario is a common reality in most homes, when respect goes out of the window. There are many children who are simply not respectful and the condition is aggravated by what they watch in movies, the video games they play and the music that is consistently on air. Respect is the attitude of admiration coupled with esteem. It is about holding others with high regard including people’s personal items.

Schools also teach children about respect, but parents have the most influence on how respectful children become. It should therefore begin at home, where you show the child respect and make sure that they respect themselves too.

Remember that if your children respect you, they obey you-not out of fear, but because they know you want the best for them.

Respect requires:

• Early teaching –Introduce the concept of respect as soon as your child is able to understand what is being said to them, and point out positive and negative behaviour.
• Model- Show your children how to respect by interacting respectfully with your spouse and with other people.
• Awareness – Talk to your children calmly and let them know when they have demonstrated behaviour that was not respectful.

When you see elements of disrespect, discuss them with your child.

• Build on strengths– Compliment them for the good behaviour they have shown, and together agree on how to improve on the undesirable behaviour.
• Firmness – Ensure your kids know the rules at home and that, ultimately, when rules are broken, one is disciplined appropriately.

Avoid being a poor role model. Try and behave they way you want them to behave.

Showing respect

• Be honest – If you do something wrong, admit it and apologize.
• Be fair – Listen to your child’s side of the story before reaching a conclusion.
• Be positive – Don’t embarrass, insult or make fun of your child.
• Be trusting – Let you child make choices and take responsibility for his actions.
• Be a good listener – Give your child your full attention.
• Be reliable – Keep promises. Show your child that you mean what you say.
• Be caring – Show concern for people, animals and the environment.

END: BL 31 / 22