They’re suffering under our care

As busy as life has become, children have not been left behind in the rat race. Nowadays, it is no secret to find children awake as early as 4 a.m, to begin their day that usually ends around 6 p.m due to traffic jams.

One wonders where this generation is heading to if children will not be left to just be kids. Just one glance at their heavy back packs makes one wonder if they are headed for an escapade on Mount Kilimanjaro.

The truth is that today’s children are way too busy than we ever were at their age. They have a tight schedule from dusk to dawn, not to mention the extra tuition hours they have to put in so as to attain academic excellence.

In our days, children stayed home until they were ages 5 or 6 before joining the much-coveted nursery school. Now with the onset of westernization, our country has seen an upsurge of Montessori schools that cost a fortune.

This comes to add ease on the already heavy-laden parents who are consumed by loads of work and expectation. As they say ‘a mind is a terrible thing to waste’ so the parents choose to have their little angels prepped for school in order to assimilate them into the society.

‘Parents’ careers and pressures of life have generally caused children to be busier nowadays. Parents are unable to be with their children for the better part of the day and so their care is given to nannies and teachers,” says Mercy Kittakah, a Montessori trained teacher. By the time the little ones are getting to age 5, they have more activities than an average mum’s to-do-list.

Children not only have to be outstanding in class work and burn the midnight oil doing tons of homework; they have to put in more time on extra curricular activities like swimming, sports and music. This places them among the academic elite comprising straight ‘A’ students; that are reserved for places in distinguished ‘A’ class school, both locally and abroad.

These children are driven to achieve at the expense of enjoying their childhood and miss out on fun with their peers. But is there anything they are actually missing?

‘There is nothing wrong with busy children given that it dissuades them from getting into trouble,’ most parents would state. ‘After all most of these children have everything a child could wish for from clothes, food, pocket money or toys.’

According to Kittakah, ‘Societal demands have heightened competition among schools, hence stepping up of standards. This in turn means that schools will try to provide as many extracurricular activities as possible, to entice parents as well as children. This means that apart from being in class, children may attend music classes, horse riding, swimming lessons etc.’

Nevertheless, there is more to what a child needs than physical needs. Children need to develop in four dimensions namely spiritual, physical, mental and emotional. Most of the time attention is usually focused outwardly, forgetting the inside, which mainly determines a child’s survival in society.

Children need to have time to interact with the right peers to build their social skills. They also need to be around a close family consistently to experience love and acceptance that builds on their self-esteem.

A child’s spiritual wellbeing is necessary to establish purpose and a sense of direction. It grants a child coping mechanisms and solutions for life. A child is able to learn how to connect with a higher being and as a result learn how to treat other human beings.

Physical and mental activities establish discipline and order in a child’s life. While this is necessary, parents need to ensure that their child enjoys what they do. These activities need to be measured in regards to the overall health of the child.

‘To instill balance, teachers introduce every activity with a song or game to help relax and put children in the mood for learning. Some lessons like colouring are set aside in the timetable so that children may have free choice,’ says Kittakah. It is important to avoid anything that will cause the child a sense of being overwhelmed, which leads to burn out. Children need to be given enough time just to explore and learn from life experiences. A lot of time is lost in running up and down instead of investing in healthy and quality times that cement the family bond.

‘Parents can allow children to have playtime as much as possible. Playing may look like a waste of time but children DO LEARN during play. For example they learn to share, bring out their creativity, develop independence and generally to be socially-balanced,’ shares Kittakah.

Look out for any signs that your child is being overworked and has reached her limit. ‘Children will display different signs to show that they may be overwhelmed by being moody, throwing tantrums, crying inconsolably and having poor appetite,’ advises Kittakah.

Ensure that children have ample time to reflect, play and be themselves. Life does not have to be too serious all the time. Look for opportunities to spend time together and finding out how they are doing.

Communication is key in ensuring that your child is balanced. Also encourage your child to develop healthy friendships. Everything does not have to be about achieving. Instead you can cultivate moments of fun and memory-making. At the end of it all, love your children unconditionally and do not fall prey of trying to keep up with the Joneses. Keep your family lives simple and realistic, striving for growth and progress.

END: BL 40/44-45

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