The Essence of quality time
The best thing parents can do for their children is to be there for them when they need them most, which is now. Spending time with children involves one-on-one interaction on a daily basis, focusing attention on each child with plenty of eye contact and physical affection. A parent will have set a solid foundation that will be key to these future adults’ perspectives of life. Children need warm, loving attention. This is very vital for parents as they build relationships with their children.
There are two critical ingredients to providing the attention children need: The amount of time spent together and the quality of that time. For parents, the time that really counts is when they are physically and psychologically present with their children. Work though important, can pose two threats to your ability to be present and provide the warm attention your child needs. Long hours at work leave less time to spend with your child. Time spent together is the building block of all relationships, and the more time spent the better. When time is short, proper time management and making most use of the little time you have with your children is very important.
Work can also have a way of contaminating the time you spend with your children in the sense that work-related stress, fatigue, worry and frustration can interfere with parents’ ability to be present with their children when they get home from work. In such circumstances, parents might be physically present but with their minds at work. Children notice when a parent is not really paying attention to them. As this is bound to happen sometimes, it should not be common because it can negatively affect children’s feelings about themselves. Parents must also learn how to control their temperaments in the presence of their children especially when they are under stress. Yelling and name calling can negatively affect the children’s self esteem and ability to confide in their parents. Politeness is essential and words like please, thank you and am sorry, should be used to address the children.
Quality time must allow for in depth bonding with children.
It must allow for parents to participate in fun activities with their children, teach them life skills, values, and so on. Parents’ busy schedules, inevitably have the children spend more time with baby sitters and could therefore have the children subscribing to the baby sitter’s disciplining style. This may however be different from the parents’ style. Spending time with the children will expose such issues and enable the parents to implement their disciplining styles.
Many parents like to make up for lost time by taking their children for fun activities like swimming and nyama choma. It is worth noting that though these are good activities, more emphasis laid on activities that will teach their children problem-solving skills. This can include helping the children with homework. As they see parents struggle to find a solution to a sum for instance, it will instill in the children the ability to become solution oriented.
To start, begin with writing down a schedule of well thought out activities or the family. Create a routine and let family members know that this is exclusively family time such that if one of the children’s friends wants to visit on Sunday afternoon, your child will let them know that it is impossible. There are creative activities you can find as you spend time with your children. The choices vary ranging from domestic activities, visiting children’s homes, doing homework together and outdoor sports.
The writer is a communications consultant with a passion for children development.
END: BL25/15