Second time a mother

Being a second time mother has been challenging. There is a nine year difference between Brayan, my second child and Antoine, his older brother. But it has also been rewarding. Waithera Kabiru shares with Rebecca Njoki the joys of motherhood.

Brayan was born on 26th December 2007 through a normal delivery. This was the day he was expected, for my EDD fell on this day. He was a Christmas gift. We were having dinner at a friend’s house when I went into labour. I did not tell anyone, for I did not want to spoil the party. At around 10 pm the contractions got to less than five minutes apart and I was worried my water had broken. It is then that I raised the alarm and got rushed to hospital.

I laboured for 12 hours, but the pain was bearable as I was on an epidural (a local anesthetic injected into the space between the outer membrane covering the spinal cord and the overlying bones of the spine. It is often used in childbirth). No complications arose after I delivered.

First days after delivery?
They were crazy! I was having a hard time getting Brayan to breastfeed and of course I suffered from lack of sleep! I had to make sure Brayan’s older brother did not feel left out and abandoned. Breastfeeding was not smooth at first. I suffered from engorged breasts but I used cabbage leaves to relieve the pain, and it worked!

After about a week of both Brayan and I trying to figure out the art of breastfeeding, the sailing got smooth. I am still breastfeeding and intend to do so until Brayan is one year old. I stayed home for six months out of choice. I just was not ready to leave him with the house-help. My leave from work was unpaid but my husband was very supportive in ensuring our needs were met.

Best moments
I love playing with Brayan because he brings a smile to my face. I especially enjoy bonding during breastfeeding, when he looks into my eyes as if to say, ‘Thank-you mum for giving me the best’.

Fears you have about him?
Whenever he gets sick I panic, like any mother. In the first few days I used to watch him sleeping to make sure he was still breathing as I was very worried about SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). But now I have learnt to relax.

What is the most amazing thing about motherhood?
I firmly believe motherhood is the ultimate joy in life! Other than God’s love, the other unconditional love is that between mother and child. I have had to re-learn many things. I would love my son to be God-fearing, above anything else. I also would like him to be a responsible, hardworking person, and to enjoy life to the fullest.

Describe his feeding habits
Brayan eats more than his nine year old brother; he has a big appetite. I am not sure if it is genetic (from his dad), though I am not complaining. We cannot have a meal in front of him without him fussing, wanting to join in.

Is there a difference between the way Brayan is growing and the way Antoine did?
For one, I stayed home with Brayan for six months while with my first born I was back to work after three months. Brayan has had the advantage of bonding longer with me. And with Brayan having a brother who is much older, means he is being brought up in a more social environment, given that Antoine can guide him and play with him.

His remarkable qualities?
He is an aggressive kid. His dad always says he will be a ‘fighter’ in school! He gets what he wants most of the time. He is quite the adventurer.

Plans for more kids?
Thanks but no thanks! I am glad God has blessed as with two beautiful and healthy boys.

How did you take it in the first few days after you went to work?
When I initially went back to work after my long leave, I was excited because I had stayed home for awhile, and hence felt the need to interact with adults. However, after the first couple of weeks I did miss my son terribly. I would call the house-help every other while—but I realized she could not feed me with the information I needed about my baby!

Since I returned to work four months ago, I have had four house-helps! My first house-help could not explain bruises on my son’s head and leg. She ran away in the middle of the night. The second one lasted a day! I went to work and just did not feel comfortable the whole day, so I came home and asked her to leave. It was my gut talking to me. She had done nothing wrong! The third one left to further her gospel music career. I am on the fourth one and I pray we will finally settle with each other.

Since I returned to work four months ago, I have had four house-helps! My first house-help could not explain bruises on my sons head and leg.

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