How to make children obey rules

Most parents look forward to their kids going back to school after a long holiday. And with this comes the expectation that all will be well with the children when they settle down at the learning institution.

But even a minimal change can have a serious impact on children. Often, they will get out of control whenever they are unable to deal with their environment. This leads to a number of behavioural problems, leaving teachers struggling to maintain order.

Authorities will often punish children for not conforming to the standards of behaviour set for them.

According to United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO), corporal punishment infringes on the basic human rights of children. Corporal punishment has been found to be unsuccessful as a form of discipline and is a danger to the healthy development and welfare of children. UNESCO recommends a useful and diplomatic form of discipline.

Children will time and again react to situations they are unable to control in the effort to bring peace. Because of their naivety, they find themselves trapped in a cycle of repeated wrong conduct.

Often, improper structures in school may affect a child’s behaviour. This may include overcrowding, making the child crave a teacher’s attention. This may force the child to behave badly, just to attract the teacher’s attention.

According to the National Association for the Education of Young Children (1991), a criteria formulated by the National Academy of Early Childhood Programmes, there should be a suitable ratio between teachers and children. The recommended ratio for children below 5 years is one teacher per ten children (1:10).

There needs to be adequate breaks for teachers and children to rest. Young toddlers are incapable of staying in one place or engrossed in one activity longer than 10-15 minutes. They need plenty of time to unwind and engage in child play.

Understanding why children behave the way they do can help authorities to assist them in their time of need.

Studies show that Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the best way to interpret a child’s future success. EI is defined as the capacity to distinguish, manage and weigh emotions. Emotional Intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions.

EI best predicts success than technical skills and Intelligence Quotient (IQ) combined. Children are naturally inclined towards boundaries and desire to be guided into the right path.

According to Erik Erikson, a theorist, ‘Children between the ages of 18 and 30 months begin to become aware of their independence and strive to balance this with the need to trust people versus self-logic. Children begin to develop habits, skills and other parts of their personality.’ The ability to know what is expected of them is linked to the development of conscience. A team of experts led by Grazyna Kochanska studied the origins of conscience. They tested various children regarding their ability to comply voluntarily with parental instructions. Children who obeyed appeared to be open to parental guidance.

Once children are able to control themselves, then they are able to know what is allowed in society. This is a challenging task for children as they grasp it fully at three years. Often, it is the authorities who misunderstand this by assuming it is in a child’s nature to do the wrong thing. According to experts, a regular toddler is told ‘no’ 400 times a day. Kids who hear ‘no’ too much develop poor language skills than children who receive positive remarks. Reprimanding children too often may cause them to be accustomed to it, leading to a dull conscience.

There are other ways that parents can guide their children to proper conduct. Some of them are:

Prepare
Parents have a great role in ensuring that their children are ready for school. A lot of problems can be avoided by doing things early instead of waiting for last minute rush. Most parents opt to buy uniforms or books at the last minute, which gets everyone anxious and exhausted.

Begin talking to your children about school as soon as possible by informing them what to expect. Show them how to listen, obey the authorities and follow instructions. Teach them to make friends and be considerate of others through sharing and taking turns. Teach them common courtesies like saying ‘thank you’ ‘excuse me’ and ‘please’. This enables them to look forward to school by feeling part of the team.

Consistency
One of the most powerful tools that have worked magic in children is consistency. Children deal well with predictable situations and consistency is one way to ensure they know what to expect from their guardians. This tool teaches children what conduct is appropriate and the respective repercussions of failing to follow such. It is important to not confuse a child by saying one thing and doing the opposite.

This confusion leads to rebellion in children as they feel cheated by the people they trust most. It is very important to remain consistent in school to determine how a child’s day starts and ends. When a child goes to school and does not know what to expect, it may lead to unnecessary problems. A teacher needs to ensure that she has routines in place that guide the child from the moment they enter into the school compound.

Supervise
Ensure that you monitor the child’s progress in school. Supervision is the best judge of a child’s future behaviour. Teachers need to pay attention to what children are doing at all times. They need to go beyond just teaching but get to know the child and why they behave as they do. This allows them enough time to prevent problems and find ways to solve them when they occur. Supervising children is important as one moment of distraction could lead to serious accidents or harm, especially with very young children.

Parents also need to keep an eye on the children and not leave that responsibility solely to teachers or the nanny. This enables them to keep track of their child’s behaviour in case issues arise. However, during supervision, it is critical to strike a balance between what is allowed and what is not. Children need to be given permission to be kids and authorities need to refrain from being too strict. Being too hard on kids causes them to be needy and docile. But it is equally important to not be too passive as this leads to children being disobedient and reckless.

Surrounding
It is important to ensure that the environment is safe and appropriate for children. The surrounding children are in affects their behaviour and the way they interpret life. If the environment is unsafe or inappropriate, it often leads to damage and even harm. Children may be seeking their independence as they grow but they need to be safeguarded from anything that may hamper their progress or impact their behaviour negatively.

A child in a clean and safe environment at school is able to explore and grow steadily. It is the parents’ responsibility to ensure their home is rid of anything that could alter a child’s proper development. Be careful of what your child hears or watches on television. Screen all the cartoons or even books to be sure they are free of any negative content.

Sociability
One of the most vital areas of a child is their social wellbeing. Motivate children to socialise with others through play and interaction. When children are around their peers, it grants them a sense of belonging which boosts their confidence. Parents need to praise their child when they make a friend and provide an avenue for continual association at home. This becomes a true deterrent from negative behaviour.

Resources
There are great ways to motivate a child towards positive behaviour. There are available resources like music videos or CD’s, games and books that facilitate in instructing children positively. Join the kids in their playing or singing for this will enable you to see how they behave and interact with others. This proximity enables you to identify how children react in different situations that come handy whenever issues arise.

During play time, it is so easy to see a leader or negotiator and this time nurtures skills in children that they will use later to adapt to society.

END: BL 40/30-31