CRY Baby
‘When Will Peace Come?’
A newborn can cry for three to four hours in a day during the first twelve weeks. This is a record 250 to 340 hours of crying time over three months. It is enough to drive anyone crazy, were it not for the fact that the crying is spaced out between hours. It may be worse for young and new mothers who may not know how to interpret the baby’s fretting, finding unrelenting crybabies confusing and frustrating. A baby who cries habitually can be a source of worry especially for a first-time mother, who hopes her baby will be born to play and sleep – not cry.
It is important to make sure your baby’s crying does not become a source of discord in your relationship. A crybaby can push you to the edge and make you so touchy, that communicating with your spouse becomes a strain. This can be aggravated by an insensitive partner, who believes you are the cause of the baby’s agitation.
The following tips can help you cope with a cry-baby.
Get a hold of yourself
If you allow yourself to get disconcerted and annoyed at your baby’s crying, your odds in calming the baby go 50 per cent up. First, remember that newborns spend on average percentage of their time crying. At any time, you are just one among millions of mums trying to hush-hush their crybabies. Second, keep in mind that no one cries forever. Look at yourself. How often have you cried since you were a toddler? Third, remember that with time you will find your ground in your baby’s world, and you will be able to effectively calm your baby.
Keep your relationship going
If you are riding on a rocky relationship, you are likely to pass on the stress to your baby, sometimes unconsciously. You may find that your baby is crying because of a poor relationship between you and your partner, which may result in you neglecting the baby. Whatever your circumstances, keep your frustrations away from the baby.
Determine the reason for your baby’s unrelenting bawl
This is not always an easy task. First-time mothers will especially not know what to expect and why. However, there are certain standard reasons that may check out.
o When they are hungry
Ensure your baby is not starving. It does not matter that you have just fed the baby, counter-check this. If your baby turns away from the breast, then it is not a food matter.
o When they are wet and need a nappy change
Most babies cause mayhem if they feel physical discomfort. After all, no one loves to wear wet pants- do you? It does not matter that the baby is responsible for the mess; you are better off sorting it out. Regularly check whether your baby’s pants are soiled, and change him/her promptly.
o When it is too hot or too cold
In a bid to be over-protective, you may have over-dressed your baby. Too much heat or cold will instantly send a baby crying. Check your baby’s back for any signs of sweat, and reduce the clothing or cover if it’s too warm. During cold weather, make sure your baby is well clothed. But bear in mind that an over-dressed baby can get very warm even during cold weather.
o When they need to be burped
Wind trapped in your baby’s digestive system may cause discomfort and therefore excessive crying. Sometimes just lifting the baby sorts out the problem.
o Birth-related problems
If your baby was born in complicated circumstances, for instance a difficult forceps or vacuum extraction delivery, it may be that the crying is related to tension within the skull. This can be resolved through a process known as craniosacral therapy, in which very gentle manipulation of the skull eases the tension. There will be need to observe the baby for brain damage too.
Crying is a way of communication for the baby since he/she cannot speak.
Other key reasons why babies cry are:
o When they are tired, due to indigestion or constipation
o When they are lying are in an uncomfortable position, and they need a change of position
o When they want the mother’s attention (In this case all they need is some physical contact)
o When ill or feeling unwell. For instance, you can tell that your baby is unwell when she has a fever or diarrhoea
o When in physical pain. (In this case the baby will writhe and fold his legs or assume an unusual position)
o When they do not want to be left alone or whenever they see a stranger
o When they are in a strange or unfamiliar environment
o For no reason at all.
Have a soothing strategy
It is one thing to know why a baby is crying and another to calm the baby down. Note that your baby is no different from any other human being. When you cry, does your sobbing end instantly when you find the solution? Or when you get that coveted ‘I am sorry’ from your spouse? No, you snuffle on and on until your partner has sufficiently reassured you. Therefore the first and most important thing you should do when your baby starts crying is to respond. There are psychological effects on the baby when the mother does not respond. The baby may start mistrusting you, knowing that you never respond to his needs. With time you will learn to figure out what your baby needs whenever he/she cries and you will get to know what you need to do to comfort him.
Some tips to soothe your baby
Initiate physical contact. Touch or hold the baby so that he/she feels your presence. You should also talk to your baby even though he/she may not understand what you are saying; he/she will appreciate that you are concerned about her.
If you already know what the baby wants, do it. If he/she is hungry, feed him/her; if he/she has just fed he/she probably needs a burp. If he/she is wet change him/her, or reduce some of the clothing if it is too hot.
Sometimes the baby needs to be comforted. You may cuddle, rock or just sing to him/her.
If the baby is bored or tired, provide some entertainment that will help him/her to light up. Give him/her some toys to play with, show him/her some interesting things such as funny (but not scary) pictures. Maybe the baby just needs some fresh air or a change of environment.
Always be consistent with the care that you give. This will help enhance communication between you and your child.
Carry your baby in a sling and walk around the room. You can actually go around your household business without the baby distracting you. You will notice the magical effect of motion, which coupled with your warmth and presence will bring calm and sometimes beckon sleep.
Some babies can be appeased by sucking a dummy. However, if your baby is not the type to be dummied, do not push your luck because it will only make the situation more irritable.
Try rocking your crying baby either in a leisurely baby seat, or in your arms. Most babies respond positively to rocking, because they have been accustomed to your gentle movements while in the womb. Rocking also has a soothing effect.
Certain motions, such as a ride in a buggy or a motor vehicle cause a hypnotic effect on a baby. This may help in relaxing and sending the baby to sleep. During car rides, the landscape distracts the crying baby; vegetation seems to rush in the opposite direction and vehicles seem stationary, giving a hypnotic effect. This can mesmerise the baby and cause him/her to take a nap.
Sometimes just leaving your baby to ’cry down’ in a safely lain cot, may be the solution. Just make sure you have checked all possibilities — hunger, fever, clothing, etc. If you feel the baby is just irritable, leave for a short while. Your baby may just be acting human by not wanting to see anyone around — not even you! However, do not stand outside the door listening to the disturbing cries. Go take a cup of tea, make a phone call or chat away with a visitor or someone else in the house. Walking away for a few minutes may also help you compose yourself, as you prepare for another round of soothing. If you are feeling low about the baby, share this frankly with someone else.
In certain cases, it is advisable to try another hand when your baby does not settle down even after your prolonged attempts. Hand over the baby to someone else; your partner, househelp or friend. A different face will create a different atmosphere or perspective, and your baby will be distracted by this change and may stop crying.
Get out of the house. A crying baby is calmed by the gush of fresh air and outdoor scenery.
Amazingly, some babies just won’t have you sit down. Try standing up while holding the baby, and some will instantly stop the sob. Sit down and the sobbing commences as if it is an electric switch. Spoilt? Sorry, what works for baby works for mum!
Must not’s
Though you wish your baby would sleep or stop crying, it is advisable that you observe some ‘must not’s’:
Do not administer a sedative. This could be fatal. Some people peddle dangerous rumours about a tiny dose of a sedative (sleeping pill) as being an effective way to silence the baby. You may just administer permanent silence. Whatever you do, never ever attempt to give your baby a tranquiliser, or any drug not prescribed by a doctor. You can give the wrong medicine, the wrong dosage or use expired drugs.
It is okay to rock your baby. However, it is not advisable to shake the baby. Remember that your baby’s bones are still very fragile, and it is easy to cause a fracture or dislocation. This could be fatal. Always protect your baby’s neck and backbone.
Do not throw your baby into the air in an attempt to cheer the baby up. Several fatal falls have resulted from this kind of play.
Babies have emotions too. The fact that they cannot speak does not mean that they cannot communicate. Newborn and even older babies cry as a form of expression. This way they portray their desires and demand attention too, if they feel neglected.
Since the babies cannot speak, it is sometimes difficult to determine what message they are passing across when they cry. Most mothers are able, with time, to interpret their baby’s cry and know exactly what the baby needs. Maternal instincts play a major role in this case and because mom spends most of her time with baby, she gets to learn to interpret her baby’s cry.
When should you take your baby to the doctor?
Sometimes the baby may cry because of a condition that needs medical attention. You should consult a doctor if:
o The baby has a fever
o He/she refuses to eat
o He/She is very sleepy and it is difficult to wake him/her up
o In case of diarrhea or vomiting
o The baby has a fit or convulsion
o If you notice fast and grunting breathing
o If the baby is unusually cold or hot
o The baby is stiff and has an expression that looks like a permanent smile on the face. (The baby may be having tetanus)
o The baby has not been gaining weight as required.
END: PG 3/60-61