I am constantly amazed at just how God created man, then later a woman for companionship. These two make a couple, and out of this union God raises a family. To put God at the CENTER of family therefore seems only sensible.
Being a wife and a mother has given me the most joyous and memorable times of my life and at the same time in this very same institution I have encountered the hardest challenges…
I had to leave behind my 9 months old baby
My husband and I got married in my early twenties just after a short course at JKUAT. I got pregnant and gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. At this point there was nothing much I could do about my career having had neither the experience nor any attachment documentation. My husband and I then decided that it would be important for me to further my studies and take up a second course. I had to leave behind my 9 months old baby to pursue my career. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. When I think about it, I am forever thankful that it was a period that came and went. I thank God for my husband though, he was supportive to the core and without him we couldn’t have pulled through.
Next 3 years that followed proved to be quite a daunting challenge
I consider parenting a gift although ideally, it comes naturally as God blesses parents with children. The next 3 years that followed proved to be quite a daunting challenge. The separation between my son and I was not easy at all. I had to balance….being a wife, a mother, a student who must excel, and a role model to my children. You can imagine trying to juggle all these roles! Tough times…”huh”! But through God’s grace I managed just fine. I did what was called distant bonding and parenting to my son for the 3 years I was intermittently absent. It worked and I am thankful that all went well.
My experience with child bearing
Later on in life God blessed us with two more children Wayne and Wendy, and for sure this far it has taken Gods hands. Allow me to mention something about my experience with child bearing. To begin with, all my children have been born through caesarian section. Quite a painful experience. I had complications from the word go, but through it all I can boldly say that God preserved my life for a reason. I got admission in HDU (High Dependency Unit) for some time for both my second and last children during recovery. These were the times I was afraid of losing my life, but through God’s grace I am here today to testify of His goodness and mercies upon my life and family.
I had to learn the hard way, often stepping in to be the dad
My husband is the busy bee, always running around travelling. And so we did not escape the experience of a long distance relationship. However, there have been good outcomes and it has also made me realize one thing. Most of the time when I was with the children by myself, I had to learn the hard way, often stepping in to be the dad when the dad was away. Consequently, there was creation of a special bond.What a plus!!This is sensitive though. Being human, it may be easy to get carried away looking at yourself as the hero and pride sets in……Careful…God resists the proud.
For the 11 years I have been married, we have had our challenges just as many other couples do, especially with distance and communication. But there are things I have learnt as a wife and a mother. The experience has made me a better person, a better wife, a better mother. The society usually overlooks and underrates the term submission , but look at this….The good book tells us, wives submit to your husbands….as a command, take note – there are no conditions attached. This has been a big tool that has contributed to me being who I am today, and this far God has taken our family. It’s not a weakness to be submissive, it’s being wise in fact…..you become authority in a good way.
Put God at the center
I have seen God fight battles for us as a couple, as parents and even for our children. I have learnt many lessons along the way, but there are few things I would love to share about parenting as I conclude:-
• Make your children your friends; it is important.
• Love them unconditionally regardless of their strengths and weaknesses.
• DO NOT work out to be the preferable parent; it destroys the union and the home.
• Teach your children to love and respect their father and mother regardless of their weaknesses or limitations.
• Remember – Where there is unity, God commands a blessing.
• Ask God for the grace to be the role model for your children.
• Mould them in the ways of God – this way they obtain virtues that help them live and have acceptance in our society.
• Always remember to pray for your family, this is the institution that the devil fights the most.
Put God at the CENTER.
Be blessed. God loves you.
The author can be reached via: firstname.lastname@example.org