Wrong + Wrong = ?

Spanking has been the age-old way of instilling discipline in our children. Many adhere to the bible truth: ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child.’ It is your sole duty to discipline your child so that she grows up to be responsible.

Make sure your child knows what is right and wrong. Tell her that punishments will be given when she makes mistakes. The punishments are to be appropriate to the mistakes made and the age of your child. Here we expect different types of punishment for different ages.

Ages 0 to 2
Babies and toddlers are naturally curious. So it’s wise to eliminate temptations along their path. Items such as TVs and video equipment, stereos, jewellery, cleaning supplies and medications should be kept away from them. When your crawling baby reaches out for a dangerous play object, calmly say, ‘No’ and either remove your child from the area or distract her with an equally interesting but safe activity. Since they learn by watching, ensure that you are a role- model-that you walk your talk.

At this age, they are unlikely to make connection between their behaviour and physical punishment. They will only feel the pain of the hit. That makes time-outs the more effective way to discipline toddlers. A child who has been hitting and biting others or throwing food, should be told why the behaviour is unacceptable and taken to a designated time-out area. Note that long time-outs are not effective for toddlers.

Ages 3 to 5
As your child grows and begins to understand the connection between actions and consequences, make sure you start communicating the rules of your home and upholding them.

Even as you chastise bad behaviour, remember to reward good conduct. Praise can have a profound effect on discipline. Be specific and tell them exactly which behaviour has made you happy with them.

For time-outs to be useful, establish a suitable time-out place that’s free of distractions, so that your child can be forced to think about how they behaved. Work that with the length of time that is suitable for them.

If your child continues with unacceptable behaviour, make a chart, post it on the wall and remind her that you will punish her more severely if she doesn’t reform. Let her know of the reward that would come with maintaining good character as well.

Discipline tips

• Avoid power struggles with your child. Should you overreact, try to solve the problem as soon as possible.
• Never say the child is ‘bad’ when what you are trying to convey is that her behaviour is bad.
• Offer your child little choices frequently, for example, making her decide what she wants to wear. This will make her feel that her decision is also respected in the house.
• Be consistent with the reward or punishment method. Otherwise your child may end up confused.
• Never criticize your child in front of others.
• Tell your child what the right thing to do is-not just the wrong.
• Explain to kids what you expect of them before you punish them for certain behaviour

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