Ways to help kids to be responsible and useful

Most parents say that it is hard to have kids and maintain a neat house. It appears easier to clean up than engage kids in doing the chores. Getting kids to engage in constructive housework requires patience, tact and lots of play. But ultimately, kids have to be taught responsibility early as it is a vital life skill.

Jane Njeri, a teacher at High Hope Junior School explains: ‘Most kids, if not watched, can be lazy and irresponsible. The earlier you start training the child on how to be responsible, the better. In most cases, children are introduced to chores through hostility. Most kids would prefer to sit down all day long playing computer games, chatting or watching cartoons.’

‘While at school, kids are taught to be responsible by ensuring that their books are neat, they are neatly dressed, taking care of the environment or how to behave in the absence of adults. They are shown how to be reliable at home using Bible characters to instil discipline,’ reiterates Njeri.

She gives the following tips on how to raise responsible kids:

1. Be firm and kind: When assigning duties, be serious but not harsh. When lecturing them concerning duty failure and irresponsibility, show some authority. Make sure you stick to the rules and consequences; otherwise they might make you their clown of the day.
2. Involve them: When doing chores, involve them so that they can also learn. For example, when doing laundry, put aside their handkerchiefs for them to wash, then after that you can re-wash them. When in the kitchen, let them also help with the easy tasks e.g. when kneading the dough, let them also do their own. Show them how to peel onions, potatoes etc. But also take caution when they are around things that can harm them e.g. fire, electricity etc. In school, this is enhanced for example when there is a parents’ meeting where the kids are involved with simple tasks like organising themselves, ensuring the meeting venue is ready, etc.
3. Congratulate them: No matter how good or bad the duty is done, you should always thank and congratulate them. Show them that you were amazed by their work. If the job was badly done, call them and redo it together but in a manner that they will not notice you are repeating.
4. Award them: When a job is well done, you should complement them by giving them presents and maybe taking them to places that they have always wanted to visit. At the end, they will be motivated and next time they will try to perfect their duty. In school for example, this is done when the kid has done well in terms of discipline, passing in their exams, neatness, etc.

Tips on how to make your children participate
At times, you may find it difficult to assign chores to them without arguing. Here are a few tips on how to get the matter resolved:

1. Start early: The best way to do this is by encouraging kids’ participation as early as they start walking. At this stage, they can start by putting their toys in their respective places, arranging their shoes in the rack, taking dishes to the kitchen after meals and putting their clothes in the laundry basket. Njeri advises that this can be made enjoyable by composing easy songs bearing the topic of the duty, awarding the child and also congratulating him or her. This will motivate the child and at the end of the day, he or she will have proven that he or she is responsible.
2. Offer choices: Give the kid choices of the kind of chores they want to do on a particular day. For example, you can create a weekly list containing all the chores. Then create chore cards and attach them in an open where they can see them all the time.
3. Be an example: ‘We make a great mistake when we assign chores to our children yet we have never taught them how to do them. At the end of the day, we end up frustrated. Always show the children how to go about the duty or duties you assign them,’ emphasises Njeri. ‘For example, if it is bed-making, teach them better at doing it,’ before giving them the duty and with time, you will notice that your children are getting better and better at doing it.’
4. Set realistic prospects: When you assign duties to your child, don’t set unreasonable expectations. Do not expect them to deliver more than their maturity allows. Measure your expectations based on what you have taught them. Remember children are still in the process of learning and with time, they will be better. Also bear in your mind that these are skills they will utilise later in life; so be patient.
5. Measure chores: With time, you will notice that they are attending to their duties perfectly. If for example they started with washing their handkerchiefs, they should advance to washing their towels and socks. You will notice their improvement and as it is said that learning is a lifetime process; they will learn and be responsible in their various fields.

Njeri assures parents that ‘after you have accomplished all these tasks, you will notice that there will be certain changes and the house chores will be attended to in the right manner and on time. Then you will be able to seat back assured that you have nurtured responsible kids.’

END: BL 43/46-47