My Child, My Teacher

I have three little teachers in my house. Well, one of them is no longer so little. The point, however, is that although we adults are bigger, stronger and should probably know better, there are times that we end up learning so much more from our children than teaching them. If we look closely enough, there are great lessons from these little ones.

The following are 10 lessons that I have learnt from my little ones since I became a parent:

1. Eating very very fast
When I brought my first born son home from hospital, I thought life would go on as usual. I thought I could have my meals at the usual time and at the usual pace. Then I learnt that whenever I got ready to eat, the baby would either require feeding, or a change of diaper or something else that continuously kept me from enjoying my meal while hot. I had to learn to eat very fast. The plan worked with him and with the siblings after him. It was not long before I also realised that I had no personal space. I could not even go to the washroom without some small hands pounding on the bathroom door with as much power as the little owner could muster. I learnt to appreciate privacy, pity that it was already too late to enjoy it. Maybe once they leave home at 18. My sleep patterns were hugely disturbed too. I learnt to take a few naps in between baby’s rest – to avoid turning into a zombie.

2. Patience 
Many parents will tell you how patient they have learnt to be with people once they get children. How else would one manage to keep their cool while feeding a baby who does not swallow their food and you have to keep begging them to? And how else do you endure the embarrassment of having part of the food end up on your face because somehow your baby thought they were driving a vehicle with the food in their mouth as fuel- and it all ended up on your face? Patience and humility come in very handy in situations like these.

3. Play
Children have a way of making even the stiffest of parents get down on the floor and play. Before I got children, I could not be seen dead on the floor assuming the undignified cross legged position. But I fast realised that one of the ways to keep them occupied and interested was to become part of the play group. Soon, that cross legged position on the floor no longer seemed so undignified.

4. Laughter
Children say the most absurd things. They also have the most interesting way of coining names for certain objects. At a certain age, pronunciation of difficult words and people’s names are a source of mirth. They also make the most interesting observations. I found it extremely difficult to maintain a straight face with so much entertaining sounds all around me.

5. Baby talk
The urge to communicate is very strong in all human beings, including in three month old babies whose only language is gurgles of pleasure on seeing their care giver. As parents, we usually get this strange urge to respond to the efforts at communication by their little ones. We end up learning a new language in our effort to conform.

6. Pride
I thought my children were the most beautiful and intelligent little human beings that the world had ever seen. Thinking back, I am embarrassed to think what a bore I must have been regaling my colleagues with the latest escapades of my children. Someone should have shut me up!

7. Singing
To have children is to lose all inhibitions about one’s inability to sing. I remember I became less self-conscious about my singing abilities when my children came on the scene. The croak that came through my mouth no longer sounded so bad when I had an audience of appreciative kids looking up to mommy the singer.

8. Fear
Sadly, I also learnt to fear. I learnt to fear even the housegirl who I had to leave my children with as I pursued a career. And the neighbourhood watchman. And even the charcoal seller at the corner street. Some of these fears were quite irrational and did over time prove irrational so. But try telling that to a first time mother.

9. Wisdom
Thankfully, I learnt wisdom. I learnt that however small and helpless they might look to us, they really are wise Solomons on the inside. I have often been humbled by my first born son’s ability to assess situations fast and decide the best way out. If he has been pushing for clothes and senses no money, then he will amend his requirement to suit the situation. Such wisdom in one so small is admirable.

10. Faith
Faith in providence has developed over time, mercifully. When we moved to a new location in late 2008/ early 2009, my daughter soon made friends with the neighbourhood kids. She would make the way from our house to her new found friends’ house regularly without asking anyone ‘to take her across. I was not comfortable with that arrangement and one day sat her down to ask her not to go out by herself. My daughter looked directly at me and with plenty of conviction told me “Siwezi ibiwa”- “I cannot be abducted”. Such faith! I have learnt to relax because I know things will be alright.

END: BL 38/42-43

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